My partner of almost 7 years doesn't want a baby, and I desperately want one. He has a daughter from a previous marriage and his ex is very manipulative with her, not letting him see her at all sometimes. He's been traumatized. He says if that hadn't happened he would definitely have one with me. I am 30 and can't wait too long. I definitely want a biological child.
What to do???
2006-09-26 17:03:31 · 14 answers · asked by JoJo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
and you believe that excuse? come on your not that naive are you?
The point is he does'nt want a child with you so he can drop you anytime with out any problem so if her ex comes along they can became one big happy again. For him your chopped liver.
Reevaluate your feelings and his feelings it looks like your missing out on something.
2006-09-26 17:10:58 · answer #1 · answered by say_what!!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really don't want to do anything silly like "oops" him into it by accidentally on purpose not taking the pill or saying you've had the depo shot or whatever because he will feel really decieved, as well he should because that's a big way to start problems that don't need to be there. You really can't compromise on this one - it's a huge thing & you don't want to force anyone into being a parent, I mean it's not like you're getting him to wear something he doesn't really want to or anything - there will be a 3rd person involved in this who it would be totally unfair on. If having a baby is really important to you then you may want to let him know just how important it is to him without giving him an ultimatum because that's just scary. If you both can't agree on a solution then you may have to cut your losses & find someone who really wants a kid as much as you seem to.
2006-09-26 17:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cannot make him want a child. I guess he feels responsible for the child he has and possibly feels guilty for not being there on a daily basis to help raise her. If you want a child and that is the most important thing to you, I know it sounds bad, but you are obviously not with the right guy. You called him your partner and not your husband, so I am guessing that you are still free enough to start a new life. Talk to him and ask what your choices are,or if he would reconsider.
2006-09-26 17:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is a real heartbreaker..... I dont know really what to suggest here.... depends on how important having a child is to you..... I know a few ppl that had no choice but to move on for this very reason.... *sigh*, I can understand his fears too... I am so sorry he has had to deal with such a thing, but I am dealing with something of the same nature... a grandchild being with held from us..... sit and talk it all out with him, demanding a child will not change the facts of how he feels.... he is being open and honest and you must respect him for that.... so you need to return the favor and do the same..... as sad and hearbreaking as it may be for both of you..... at times we discover there are cross roads in life we never thought we would have to deal with... it is time for difficult decesions ?? good luck and God bless
2006-09-26 17:10:33 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can understand how awful you must be feeling. The fact remains that your husband is not able to come out of a traumatized past. I would suggest you to keep communicating with him on the issue and assure him that a bad experience does not mean that one should be scared to take further responsibilities. As seven years is a long period, I am sure you must have tried your best to convince him. You could seek professional help also if you find it difficult to handle it yourself.
2006-09-26 17:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by officerdelhi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might want to find someone else. I've seen too many women who think that once they get pregnant, he'll miraculously change his mind and then are crushed, alone and pregnant. Or if he doesn't leave, his attitude changes and NOT for the best.
2006-09-26 17:10:05 · answer #6 · answered by msuzyq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a friend in the same situation, but she is 45. she waited too long. and shes not happy. Find another guy. good luck
2006-09-26 17:11:20 · answer #7 · answered by momisthecoolone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you can't force him to have a baby with you. The only thing you could do is break up with him, find a man who would want a baby with you.
2006-09-26 17:13:36 · answer #8 · answered by Tartlettes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave the relationship and find someone who wants to have children with YOU.
2006-09-26 18:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
try to talk and discuss with him on how you feel. tell him having a baby is good for a family relation too. tell him about how important and how nice it will be to have your own kids..
2006-09-26 17:14:05 · answer #10 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋