Ive heard many Americans make jokes out of war and other countries suffering. Just wondering if there are any good ones out there about 9/11.
Cheers.
Remember guys, its just a joke.
2006-09-26 16:48:13 · 22 answers · asked by Game Theorist 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Here are the ones ive heard. I dont think its too early to have jokes, probably just to early for americans to hear them. A lot of these are a bit over the top though.
Mostly they are just modified jokes, and some of them are just inserting the pentagon for a laugh.
(Remember, its a question people, not an opinion page. If you dont know the jokes, you shouldnt have responded)
What does WTC stand for? - "What Trade Center?"
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds
Q: Why do tourists flock to New York?
A: It's a blast
The FBI has just identified the man who trained the hijackers: Dale Earnhardt.
At the World Trade Center restaurant, they offered three seating areas:
smoking, non-smoking and burned beyond recognition.
They dont need any more volunteers to help at the WTC:
they have found 5000 extra pairs of hands...
New York, New York, so good they hit it twice
American Airlines is now offering sight seeing tours of Manhattan!
Q: What is world most efficient airline?
A: American Airlines, leave Boston 8:15...be in your office in New York 8:48!
What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones head sitting in 90th floor of the WTC ?
- The 91st floor.....
What was the last thing going through Mr. Smiths head sitting in 110th floor of the WTC?
- The radio mast...
America's new math:
Q: Now how many sides to a Pentagon? A: 4
If one side of the Pentagon has collapsed, will it now be renamed "The Square"?
It should be renamed "The Penta-gone"
It should be renamed "Manflatten"
Famous last words: "Amal, was this tower here yesterday?"
American Airline's pilot announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing on New York in about 10 minutes....."
Well, this proves one thing....
New Yorkers really come together in a crunch
Today FBI concluded that New York had been hit by a U.F.M (unidentified flying muslim)
Q: What did one terrorist say to the other terrorist before boarding their respective airplanes?
A: I slam, you slam, we all slam for Islam!
NEWSFLASH.... The WTC has been destroyed.... thousands of New York executives feared dead.... Hookers all across the city are in mourning.....
"25,000 sq. ft. Office space for rent. Recently renovated. New Air Conditioning unit. Needs TLC. Contact me at One World Trade Centre. 85th Floor, Room 18."
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's.... Oh ****, it IS a plane!"
Q: What do you call a dust storm?
A: Trade winds.
Q: What's the area code of the World Trade Center?
A: 220 (two to zero).
Q: What should have tipped off the ticket sellers?
A: When the terrorists asked if there was anything cheaper than one-way.
Q: What was the quickest escape time from the World Trade Center?
A: Ten seconds flat.
Q: How long does it take to reach the ground from 107 stories up?
A: The rest of your life
Q: Why are police and firemen New York's finest?
A: Because now you can run them through a sieve.
Optimism,
as you fall past the 20th floor you shout "I'm not hurt yet"
How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?
God knows, they keep jumping out the window when it gets too hot
What's the number one drink served on United Airlines?
Flaming Manhattan
What music do they play in the elevator in the WTC?
Jump and It's Raining Men
Floor 106...... you ARE the weakest link.... goodbye....
What color were the pilots eyes?
Blue. One blew this way the other blew that way
What team does a United Airlines pilot support?
The New York Jets
Where do Americans go on vacation?
All over Manhattan
How many Americans died in the WTC yesterday?
Who gives a ****
What's the difference between Wembley and New York?
Wembley's still got their twin towers.
What's the difference between the attack on New York and the Oklahoma City Bombing? - Again foreigners prove they can do it better and more efficiently......
Then there's the retarded terrorist who tried to crash the A-Train into the World Trade Center..........
Yassar Arraffat and many other PLO members together with people from other Muslim nations are *Volunteering* to give blood for the victims of the tragedy...
I guess they'll have some *Volunteers* to Fly the blood in too!
Last words from Airline pilot
"Right a bit, hey the trade centre, my brother works there...lets look just a bit closer...."
The FBI have arrested the head of advertising at the Empire State Building for involvement in the WTC disaster. A spokesman said he was caught with 'Empire State: We're Back!!!' T-shirts in his office...
Top 10 Good Things About The WTC Attack
10. There are now 18 fewer Arab taxi drivers terrorizing the streets.
9. Flight training schools proved that they are expensive but worth it.
8. People are learning how to spell "Afghanistan" correctly.
7. Plenty of parking available at airports now.
6. Jerry Springer Show was off the air for a whole week.
5. Sales for U.S. flags are way up.
4. Several new job openings now at NYPD and NYFD.
3. Much lower electric bills for Manhattan.
2. Home videos of the WTC attack more spectacular than Arnold Schwarzenegger's last
5 movies.
And the number one ...
1. Some great new unobstructed views of Manhattan now.
LIGHT BULB JOKES
Q: How many American Airlines Flight 77 passengers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Apparently, we will never know since they crashed at 400 mph into a five-sided reinforced bunker and were instantaneously vaporized. Burning puddles of human remains aren't very good at replacing lighting fixtures.
Q: How many Washington DC Firemen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One living fireman and the ghostly apparitions of hundreds of the dead firemen that were crushed under the World Trade Center.
"Knock-Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Anita!"
"Anita who?"
"Anita bang my head against the wall and wonder how the world outside my window looks the same, but know in my heart it's a different place. Or is it? Hasn't this evil always lurked deep within the hearts of men? Who are we to think we were immune to suffering? Anita take a look within myself."
"I think I'll go knock on someone else's door."
"You do that."
WALKING INTO A BAR
A firefighter, a rabbi, and a civilian Army employee walk into a DC Area bar covered in ash. The bartender takes on look at this motley crew and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
The civilian Army employee says, "Are you an idiot? Didn't you hear a jet slammed into the side of the Pentagon?"
"I just wanted a beer to drown the numbness after working all day in hell, not put up with this ****," said the firefighter, "Let's go somewhere else."
The rabbi throws up his hands. "Oi! Why does this happen to me every time I want to go get a drink?"
A guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I have a glass of water, please?"
The bartender says, "Just drinking water?"
The guy answers, "If you got what I got, you'd be drinking water too."
The bartender looks him over puzzled and asks, "What've you got?"
The guy answers, "The sinking feeling that life is a hollow experience punctuated by brief episodes of joy and sadness followed by an eternal emptiness."
The bartender nods his head, pushes the water over to the guy and says, "I thought you were going to tell me that you only had 17 cents or something equally as stupid."
The guy looks up and says, "Yeah- that too."
The bartender looks away and nervously wipes down the bar.
2006-09-28 12:44:21 · answer #1 · answered by A Drunken Man 2 · 10⤊ 2⤋
9 11 Jokes
2016-09-27 17:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone who has written a "joke" about 9/11, it is NOT a joke! So many innocent people died that day and ur making a joke out of that?! Everyone who posts a joke about this are all awfully sick individuals! I hope u have fun in hell
2016-05-01 10:41:15 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 1 · 5⤊ 15⤋
911 Jokes
2016-12-08 15:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
President Bush announced that the federal deficit is actually $296 billion less than originally forecast. It's less, yeah. The president credits low unemployment, high job growth, and the fact that he did the math himself
I want to wish a belated birthday to our president. George W. Bush celebrated the big 6-0 on Thursday. When you realize President Bush and Jessica Simpson were born in the same week, maybe there is something to this astrology stuff.Jimmy Kimmel
2006-09-26 16:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by grant212021 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What did Bin laden order at McDonalds? A: 1 shake 1 apple crumble and 2 flaming towers
2016-10-22 02:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by charlie 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Here's a great joke. You'll laugh your socks off!
19 Arabs, who had been under surveillance, conspired together, walked onto four commercial aircraft without being detected, and without having their names appear on a passenger list. Then they overcame over 250 people with plastic box-cutters. And not only that, but with no previous experience of flying large jets, they navigated from 30,000 feet and hit three out of four targets precisely, meantime conducting flying manoeuvres that fighter pilots would find difficult. Then, the amazing thing is that 7 of them survived the events and are known to be alive today.
Also for the first time ever in history, three, not two, but three steel framed buildings collapsed as a result of fire which could not possibly have burned hot enough to melt steel, and caused the buildings not to topple over, as one might expect, or to fall a little at a time, but to fall within their own footprint at the speed of gravity. And one of those buildings (WTC7) was not even hit by a plane.
Not only that, but the four aircraft disappeared completely without a trace of their 16 large engines, or any of the black boxes. This has also never before happened in history.
Now, isn't that really funny - amazing huh?
2006-09-27 13:34:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 4⤋
9/11 jokes are just PLANE wrong
2016-07-21 07:15:03 · answer #8 · answered by beverlylps13 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
about 9/11 no but I think the joke is on Bush!!!
2006-09-26 17:08:12 · answer #9 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Why cant people top making 911 jokes? Its just plane wrong
2015-05-16 14:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋