Well, he has mental problems and had many episodes where he treated me horribly. We still fight but he has become hugely better. The big problem is that I view him more as a friend than a lover. I'm not attracted to him even though he is attractive and cute. I just have no sexual feelings towards him. He is so funny and intelligent. He is like the class clown and we get along so well when we are just being silly. I like his company most of the time. He doesn't just want to be friends so it is all or nothing. We are almost identical and have so much in common that we fight for the same things. I feel like the guy in this relationship sometimes. Where he puts in more emotionally than me. Okay, he's poor, has mental illness, and is possessive; he always says I'm too sexy and beautiful not to cheat on him. As if I'm too good to be with him. Should I stand by him or let him go? Nothing would make me happier than to love him and accept him good and bad, but it is so hard sometimes.
2006-09-26 16:40:48 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh yeah, he loves me for who I am, my little quirks are cute to him, and i feel the same way about him. We've been together for a little over a year now and I know him so well. We just can't open up to each other. Everytime one of us opens up, we hurt each other and name-call. I always call him a loser and he calls me a ****.
2006-09-26 16:43:16 · update #1
We are almost identical, I'm not possessive but I have mental problems too, so really we are understanding of each other.
2006-09-26 16:44:52 · update #2
The reason that he says that you are "too sexy and beautiful not to cheat on him" is that he is fully aware of his shortcomings. If you can find it in you to tell him that you love him, desire him, and want to be with him, it will help. I really think that if he can see that you desire him, he will be more desireable.
If you can't do it, don't fake it. It will just hurt worse when you leave.
2006-09-26 16:45:54 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Okay...this is my red flag
"He always says I'm too sexy and beautiful not to cheat on him".
Add that to the fact that he has mental problems, and you will be in a relationship where there is no trust, and where his possessive/obsessive tendencies will get worse.
In my opinion, from an outsider looking in...space yourself, and don't waste your time on the hopes of saving him...find someone you really love.
2006-09-26 23:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd explain to him that you don't see him as more than a friend. You can care and love another person without them being your significant other. Sounds like you still love him, but not in a romantic way.
Don't stay with him just because he has "mental problems". And treating eachother horribly, is never ok and is always disrespectful. Take time to mature and give him space and time to get on with his life too.
Hang in there.
2006-09-26 23:47:19 · answer #3 · answered by B L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, no, I don't think anyone should be with anyone they aren't attracted to. While I believe in sticking by the mentally ill, I don't believe in abuse, nor do I believe in someone saying only that it's because they aren't attracted to someone without saying why they aren't. I think your 4th to the last sentence says a lot - "Okay, he's poor....." it starts out. Is that the root of it? Be honest with yourself. It doesn't matter in the long run, but it gives you insight into yourself and who you may be attracted to in the future.
2006-09-26 23:48:33 · answer #4 · answered by smallweed 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE get out while you can. There seems to be way too many red flags in your situation. Watch the news as to what happens to women and their children when they are with a man that has similar character traits of your man that you are describing. It is too late at that point. I wish that someone would have tried to warn those women. I will pray for you and your dilemma.
2006-09-26 23:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by ccmlgs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no this is a destructive pattern ... it won't get better, you can't force yourself to be sexual with him ... tell him you can only be friends and if it's all or nothing than it'll be nothing and you'll be better off.
2006-09-26 23:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by emnari 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completly agree with the "stormwarn" lady
2006-09-26 23:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he take medecine for his mental health? if so perhaps you should think about your own mental state.
2006-09-26 23:45:20 · answer #8 · answered by greg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2006-09-26 23:49:33 · answer #9 · answered by tampabayfriends 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi, you should ask God to help you out with this he wil help you. be brave and good luck on it.
2006-09-26 23:54:39 · answer #10 · answered by I Love My Friends 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋