My mother and I don't get a long. I did some stuff behind her back mind you i'm 21 i didn't think i needed her permission to do things, i live on my own in my own apartment, i don't receive any financial assistance from her or my father. anyways, she is pissed at me because i went behind her back supposedly and bought a new car she feels as though i've decited her and betrayed her and lied and all that junk. i'm willing to work things out with her but everytime we talk all she talks about how terrible of a daughter i am and that i'm failure which im used to those words i've heard them most of my life but last night we had a conversation and she told me that she wished i would just crash and burn and lose everything and then truly know how it is in the real world... she is driving me insane i'm about to just say F*CK it her and move on. all she causes me is stress. i have enough of that. i go to school full time and work full time.... i don't need her sh*t nor do I need her please help!
2006-09-26 16:33:32 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i would advise you NOT to burn bridges that may not be able to be rebuilt....... backing off is one thing, being disrespectful and just saying those umm, other things, may lead you to places, emotionaly , you one day may regret..... sit mom down, tell her adult to adult, you are taking a daughter vacation..... you love her, and out of respect you are letting her know how it is gonna be.... stay kool, calm etc...... dont argue or accuse..... just say what needs to be said, kiss her cheek and walk out..... God bless
2006-09-26 16:39:41 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you seem like a busy woman with school and work so I'd take a little break from your mom. Then maybe when you feel a little better you should have a talk with her about this whole thing. Hopefully your talk can resolve the problems but if not just don't allow her to make you feel so bad and if that means not spending as much time around her well then it'll have to be.
2006-09-27 00:07:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just dont pick up the phone when she calls for a while and when she calls and ask why you have not called her explain to her how you feel about what she is doing. She should have been proud that her child went out and did something so responsible, she might also be jealous was she like you when she was a your age or did she have a hard time i know when i brought my first house at 21 my mom was jealous & proud and we didn't speak for a couple of months when we finally did talk that is what she told me. Also don't let her negative thinking affect you and what you have to do in life. you should go out in buy you a nice house or condo with a garage to put your car that you worked hard for in then she will really hope you die
2006-09-26 16:45:01 · answer #3 · answered by cwannaknow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like a lot of mothers she's afraid to be pointless after their children are on their own feet , they are not realizing that their love will be never pointless , at contrary they have to be happy and proud for they love and care have made children who now can take care of themselves , tell to her how much do you love her and you know well how much she loves you but if she can see that you should have your own life the best thing to not see and talk with each other till she will not understand that,pray to God to open her eyes and heart ,away from you she will realize how blind she was , till then keep seeing her will cause only more tension for both of you but you can write to her about what you feel to her ,I'm sure she will keep that letter reading it every day till the day she will understand , the life will make her to understand ,say goodbye to her but leave the door open for the day she will realize the truth.
2006-09-26 17:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by Paul Alexandru Cazacliu 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's just how parents, especially mothers, are. She loves you and she just doesn't know how to pick the right words to tell you that she loves you but feels that you should have shared the fact that you were buying a new car with her. If you need a bit of space from her, that's fine, take it. But, don't cut her out of your life...when she's gone you WILL regret it.
Things will get better with time, take a break from her a re-group when you feel ready.
Good Luck.
2006-09-26 16:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Boy howdy, your mother sounds as though she definitely has some personal problems...the fact that she wanted you to crash and burn. I would try not having any contact with her (visits, phone, etc.) and go on the way you have. It probably sounds harsh but the way she is treating you is very harsh. Maybe and hopefully by doing that she will come to her senses. Good luck and God bless you.
2006-09-26 16:47:29 · answer #6 · answered by Oenophile... (Lynn) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are going through this with your mom.
I wish I had your mothers so called disappointment. I have an abusive, and very disrespectfull daughter who runs away and steals from me.
I have a right to be disappointed with my daughter. Your mother does not realize what she has.
You have done nothing wrong.
Love your mother and try to understand her, but you don't have to be around her if she is going to treat you with such unkindness.
2006-09-26 17:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by vic 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Backing away from her for a while sounds like exactly the right thing to do. Good for you for having such excellent judgment! I'm very sorry for your pain, you're not alone having a problem like this. Best of luck to you.
2006-09-26 16:36:52 · answer #8 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
particular i think of you're being over the right! You left your daughter consisting of your own mom. the protecting thoughts you have on your own toddler are comparable to your mom has continually had for you, and now additionally on your toddler! i think of that on a stunning day that she chosen to take your toddler for a stimulating or soothing walk is gorgeous and can lots desire that to have chanced on her observing small screen television whilst to procure back. i'm particular your mom enjoyed spending time consisting of your toddler yet may well be reluctant to accomplish that in case you bypass off on one whilst she does as a favour to you.
2016-10-01 10:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey there im sorry to hear that she is acting like that i dont have a whole alot of experiance in this but ill try to help i think she just wants to be a part of your life still im guessing and shes afraid of letting you go or me i dont think she should get too mad for a new car i think you should maybe still be around your mom and dad i have had problems myself with my parents nothing huge but i hated them but i think they still love you and you should still try to be with them because they wont be around for ever and if anything bad happend you dont want a bad memory of anything with them ? and that goes for them, im only 18 i live with my parents i cant say how you feel- as for the things she said that is hurt full forgivness is probly the best it might die down with her. i hope this helps you goodluck
2006-09-26 16:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by Night W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There odd things. i strive and strive to impress mine and to no luck. nothing i do is ever good enough. ive stayed away for 2 months (she lives 40mins down the road) and she still doesnt make any effort to come and visit me. the only bad thing that i did was break off my engagement. now im scum to her. good luck, i hope that your future relationship recovers with some time out.keep going likeyou are and succeed and she will kick herself so hard
2006-09-26 16:42:21 · answer #11 · answered by Ange 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋