My boyfriend is 20 and my parents want us to get married!!! Can they do that??
2006-09-26 16:15:21 · 24 answers · asked by Prue 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
No but they can have him arrested for rape even if you consented as the courts say you are too young to have mature enough judgment for that. Don’t get married if you don’t want to and don’t think you have to keep the baby in order to be a good person. A loving mother will give her child up for adoption if she is to young, immature, or can’t support the child. Someone who will provide a comfortable loving home for him will adopt the baby. If you want to keep the child then make your boyfriend pay child support and go through the courts for this as it will be going on for 18 years. This will be hard for you but can be done but you will need family help. Are your parents willing to do this for you and their grandchild especially if you name it after one of them? They may be angry now but their hearts may melt at the sight of their grandchild especially if it is their first.
2006-09-26 17:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by # one 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, they can't make you do it...but they can coerce to the point of "force" by kicking you out of the house and just generally making your life miserable.
You really need your boyfriend as an ally in all of this. Tell him your concerns and make sure that he feels the same. Although you parents may have limitless control over you and your actions, they have next to none over him. They can try to force you to marry him all they like, but if he isn't willing to do so, their hands are tied.
Getting pregnant at 16 wasn't the best idea, but you know what? Two wrongs don't make a right. Getting married right now would be a far, far worse idea. Hang in there, girl.
2006-09-26 16:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by A.R. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the choice is not your parents to make, but both of you have to sit down and decide how to take care of you and the baby.Face up the responsibilities, as parents. After all it does take two to tango as we say. Alas he should have worn protection, and so should you. But I'm not here to lecture you. Your boyfriend at the age of 20 is an mature adult and you being 16 depending which State and or country you're in you may or may not be of legal age to have sex and he can be charged for having sex with a minor. Please get help, together counseling, and parenting skills. This innocent child comes first, your parents have your and the child best interest at heart. He should have asked you to marry him as soon as he was told that you're having a baby. Taking care of the child alone is a major responsibility, and he should be a part of the child's life. If you make it legal your child will have a father, including support. Adoption is another choice, the other last choice I wouldn't think about. As your child is the innocent one in this situation and he is a real human being. But that is my personal opinion, the choice is yours and his to make.
j
PS: Good luck, and let me know if you're having a boy or girl.
2006-09-26 16:32:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your parents cannot legally force you to get married, at least I don't think they can. You need to discuss what your options are with your bf, his parents and your parents. Are you going to keep the child? Abort it? Give it up for adoption? Is he going to help take care of the child, financially and otherwise? Are your parents willing to help, are his? Raising a child is hard work, raising a child when you don't have the means to support even just yourself is bordering on insanity.
What are your reasons for not wanting to get married? I know you are awful young to get married, but you are awful young to be having a baby also. Good luck, honey, you may just need it.
Off topic, I don't know where you live but your bf may be in legal trouble if it gets out he slept with a 16 year old. Where I live its illegal for anyone over 18 to have sex with anyone under 18. So if you like the guy be careful.
2006-09-26 16:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by Shaman B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. They can't force you but you do need to be responsible since you're pregnant. If you don't get married your boyfriend can be put in jail for statutory rape. Are you wanting your parents to take care of you and your baby? You and your boyfriend should be responsible for your child. Talk to your boyfriend and your parents because there are legal and financial repercussions here that you didn't think about.
2006-09-26 16:19:08 · answer #5 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly your parents cant force you to get married because your pregnant. Although it is perfectly legal to get married in some states when your 16, you just need your parents to sign.. but nomatter how responsible you want to be, marriage is a big step. and just like having a baby u need to make sure that YOU are ready for it.
2006-09-26 17:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by Azie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody,even your parents can force you to sign your name to a marriage certificate.No minister or judge will marry you if you say no, I dont want to be married.Even at your young age,you still have rights legally.Its best to have the baby,and decide what you want to do.If you dont want to keep the baby because you dont feel that you can meet a babys needs,there are alot of worthy people that desparately want a baby and can provide for them.You could have an open or unopen adoption,youre the one that has that choice,not your parents.On the other hand,if you want to keep the baby and try to raise it,you can become emancipated as a legal adult,start working hard and get assistance to raise this baby.Many young women have done it,and if youre a strong girl at your age,you can too.Dont make a major lifelong mistake by getting married when you know its not right.Do your parents want to pay for a divorce later on?Ask them that.
2006-09-26 16:28:20 · answer #7 · answered by luv2bawifenmom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like they want to make sure that they dont look bad. Its foolish and a complete waste. I know that you might love your boyfriend now, but if you get married at such a young age you will resent each other later in life-- thus the entire thing ending in nasty divorce. So you dont need to get married, dont become a statistic, the divorce rate in our country is high enough. . .
Keep in mind, the age to consent for sex might be 16 in many states, but sweetie you are still a minor. Do your research, and make sure that they dont attempt to bring charges against your boyfriend because your the minor. . .
With all that said, if you dont want to get married, dont get forced into doing so. I dont believe that they can do it legally, considering that you stand before a judge and sign the documents. Good luck
2006-09-26 16:28:06 · answer #8 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't be forced to, and you should only if you want to, but if your boyfriend decides not to stick around as many do, it'd be good if you get married because he can get stuck with child support then.
2006-09-26 16:35:53 · answer #9 · answered by ♥-=-TLCNJ19-=-♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but don't expect them to support you as a single mother, they may, which would be great, but marriage is for suckers. Get your boyfriend to legally set up an allowance for your kid, a certain amount every week, because I'm fairly sure he'll move on to greener pastures soon, unless he's a good guy.
2006-09-26 16:22:19 · answer #10 · answered by fed up with stupid questions 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋