I have never done anything bad, i make good grades, im not fat but still my parents always put down like every day, saying im fat stupid, ugly, i make stupid choices, ect, alot of ect! They really do say some mean things to me for no reason! What should i do, say? Advice Please? I think my parents both have really low self asteem, and i think i am turning like them but i dont want to be anything like them at all. They used to hit me to but i think they think i am alittle to old and smart for that!
2006-09-26 16:06:16 · 23 answers · asked by Jasmine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Get closer to others in your family, like aunts and cousins, and share the problem with them.
2006-09-26 16:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry your parents are doing this to you.
First of all... don't let their low self esteem affect yours. You seem to have a good self asteem now. You know your not fat, stupid, etc...
I know this is going to be hard but try this...
Next time they start speaking to you this way say this, I know I'm not perfect and you have a right to your opinion and even though I don't agree with it I love you anyway.
Be very sincere when you say this so they won't think you are just being a smartass.
Turning your parents into good parents really isn't your responsibility. If you think you can't handle this then seek help. If you have other family members to talk to go to them first. You might also talk with your school counselor. Otherwise call this number..1 800 RUNAWAY
Even though you may not be considering running away they have several resources they can turn you on to. They should know what resources are available in your area. Don't be afraid to tell them what is going on and ask if they know of any services in your area where you can get guidance. This is their web site http://www.nrscrisisline.org/ I haven't really looked through it other than for researching statistics but I am sure if you called them they could point you to people that can help.
I went through some of the same you are going through when I was your age. I ran away from home 5 times and believe me you don't even want to consider this as an option. I have since learned there is many new resources available for youth in your situation. In our area there is this agency http://www.wch.org They started out as an orphanage but now offer several more services. Unfortunately they are the only ones that offer such services in this area. Hopefully some day this will change, but moreso hopefully someday there will no longer be the need but I doubt it.
Good Luck!
2006-09-26 23:30:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep your head up high. Work hard at school and keep reminding yourself that you are smart and you only have to tolerate this abuse 4 more years until you are 18 years old. Work hard and try and get yourself a college scholarship and you can move out as soon as you are old enough. Unfortunately people with low self esteem like to put other people down because they think that that will make them fell better about themselves .. but it doesn't. Consider joining a good church youth group ... they often meet on Friday or Saturday nights ... you will meet people there who will accept you for who you are ... the most important thing is to remember you are NOT who your parents say you are ... YOU will determine your own future!!
2006-09-26 23:19:05 · answer #3 · answered by MeInUSA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, Marina! You sound spunky, and mature, to realize that the way your parents are treating you has everything to do with their problems, and not with who you are. But it still hurts, I know. Realistic advice? Hard to give without knowing you. Do you know what a mentor is? (look it up online, if you don't) If you can find one... basically an adult who cares about you and makes time for you, listens to you, takes you seriously, treats you like a person.... then you will probably come out okay. Eat healthy food, exercise some, get enough sleep, focus on getting good grades (because they're your ticket to anywhere), and talk to an adult you trust (at school, if you can, or church) about finding a mentor, for some long-term guidance. If you explain how you feel, like you did in this posting, it will make sense to a smart teacher or counselor what you want and why you need it. Good luck, dear. You are not alone in this problem, or in life. :-)
2006-09-26 23:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by Singinganddancing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry your parents don't treat you right. I wish my 13 year old daughter could see this. Now she doesn't have a clue when it comes to a parent disrespecting a child.
I came from a very difficult childhood and I have to say the only thing that helped me, is knowing how much God loves and understands me. It is in trying to know him that I could know my parents.
You sound very mature to have already seen one of the reasons your parents treat you like they do.
You will be a little like your parents, but it is still a choice to choose.
You can research and see why we act the way we do.
Don't give up on yourself and try to understand your parents so you can go on and become stronger in yourself.
2006-09-27 00:45:07 · answer #5 · answered by vic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can advise is to talk to a aunt or uncle or grandparent. if not maybe a counselor at school. How about a teacher or maybe a friends parents. Remember your parents may have been thru a lot that you don"t understand i'm sure they love you and worry about you. I wish you the best and know that you will grow up and have your own life.
2006-09-26 23:13:51 · answer #6 · answered by tinker bell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you have such rotten parents. May be they are taking their frustrations out on you for their own problems. That's just wrong!
I don't know what you can say to them. I'd avoid both of them as much as possible. Can you talk to an Aunt or Uncle or somebody?
I really am sorry that you have to suffer so much and I truly do wish you the best. take care!
2006-09-26 23:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by ????? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
o!! I cried when I read your headline to your question. I am so very sorry for the way they are treating you.I also know how you feel,because this happened to me when I was from the age of 2-10,that is when I got into foster care & then I got to know that i was a better person then my mom & step dad,have you spoke with your other family member's,friend's,school staff,or have you got in touch with Department Children & Family Service's & to see if they can get you out of your home?
And put into foster care or care of another family member(s).And I am sure that some will LOVE YOU & NOT BE MEAN TO YOU& SAY AWEFUL THING'S TO YOU..This is uncall for,no child need's to be treated like this...I will be praying for you that you can get away :-) and most of all never forget that GOD LOVE'S YOU!! :-) 5 years ago I asked my birth mom Y she could never say anything nice to me or I love you daughter?? she said that my greatgrandparents made her tell me that she loved me or say nice thing's to me.but rest their souls they are not alive to know how she turned out to treat me.. but I've got 5 birth children & 6 step kids & i love them all the same!! also I have 9 step grandchildren & I love all them same :-)but we do not really say step mom ect... we are all one big family :-)
2006-09-27 00:31:23 · answer #8 · answered by country g 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents were probably abused themselves. Try talking to another mature adult family member. Remember you already know your are a smart, good person, ignore all the negativity they bring on you. Try some positive extra curicular activities that keep you away from that. Good luck.
2006-09-26 23:10:59 · answer #9 · answered by I luv THICK gurlz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's awful. As soon as you are old enough you should move away. My parents have always treated me well, even when I was a horrible brat. I should be the one getting punished like you.
Keep on being a good person and don't become like your parents who'll drag you down.
2006-09-26 23:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have a counselor you can talk to at school? you dont deserve this mental abuse or the physical abuse they are giving you...talk with someone you can trust and remember...its your choice not to be just like them...its takes alot of effort and energy on your part not to be like that...but you first need to feel like you have someone safe to talk to about this.
and parents arent perfect, they are just human...they can be acting out the same way they were treated as kids...nothing changes if people dont try to change..that a tough cycle to break. good luck
2006-09-26 23:12:29 · answer #11 · answered by shawnana2020 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋