She works a 3/4 time job 25 miles North in Champaign, and so does her boyfriend. Suddenly, the boyfriend wants to move 25 miles south of here. He will have no job, he has no drivers lisence and I am worried he is some kind of a fruit cake. He is 28 yrs old and she will do anything he says. She cannot see the light. He is a terrible alcoholic. What do I do to get her to open her eyes.? The baby is due in January.
2006-09-26 15:43:15 · 9 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My niece is 24 yrs old and she is in deep crap because of major back surgery she had when she was 15 for scoliosis. She has metal rods in her back and will not be able to work much longer. Her dad says if she moves home, he will file an order of protection against the boyfriend because he is such a weirdo and is putting stress on the daughter. He comes over and climbs the dog fence and sleeps in the dog house. I am serious. He has some mental problems alcholism is only 1 of them.
2006-09-26 16:27:24 · update #1
sounds like moving with her parents is the smart thing to do. Not sure if you will be able to get her to open her eyes, but keep trying. So she dont have to find out the hard way. good luck
2006-09-26 15:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Michelle : 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know that you care very much for your niece. You didn't say how old she is, but the baby is her responsibility. She may not see the light until after the baby gets here and the baby is having to do without. You can talk until you are blue in the face, but if she is of age and her parents no longer have control , she has got to be allowed to make her decissions.
2006-09-26 23:12:44 · answer #2 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Sorry to hear of your situation... I would be concerned as well, heck, I raise my niece. The only thing I can think of, is maybe you and other family members should get together and talk to her, and let her know 1st, how much you care about her, don't gang up on her, and start telling her what is wrong with her boyfriend, because even though he may be an irresponsible loser, she may love him. I was personally in a bad relationship, and if it were not for my family intervening with me, I would not be where I am today. But someone needs to talk to her; not only for her sake, but the babies.
2006-09-26 23:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by Joe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know that there is much you can do other than share your concerns with her. Get as many other family members to do the same.
Ask her how they expect to provide for themselves, let alone a new baby, if they both end up with no jobs?
Too bad we can't just lock them up to keep them safe. Just kidding of course. I know how it feels to have to watch someone you love walk into the fire like that. Sometimes they just have to get burned a few times to understand the warning signs of danger. All we can do is be there for them when it happens.
2006-09-26 22:49:38 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is why they say love is blind. She don't see him for the loser that he is. Unfortunately she loves this guy & she's about to start a family with him. I don't think there's anything you could say to make her open her eyes.
All you can do is offer support in a "manipulative" way. Something like, if you lived closer I could do this or that for you. If you lived closer I could help you with the baby. Kind of go about things in a beating around the bush sort of way.
2006-09-26 22:48:18 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all maybe her parents don't want her to move back in.. I wouldn't. I assume she is not under the age of 18, she is an adult. Since she is not going to listen anyways, you need to cut her from your life and letter her wallow in her own mess.
2006-09-26 22:52:23 · answer #6 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately other than trying 2 reason with her there is nothing u can do. try sitting down with her n seeing if u can get her 2 see reason. if not just stand by her the best u can. he will mess up n be gone one day n she will need u all 2 be there 4 her.
good luck
2006-09-26 22:47:05 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There isn't anything that you can do. The more you try to convince her that this guy is not right for her, the longer she'll stay with him to prove you wrong. I think it's time to just let her figure it all out for herself. Just be there for her if she needs you.
2006-09-26 22:46:14 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your niece is 24 years old, that makes her an adult, whether she moves back in with her parents is her choice.
2006-09-27 01:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋