Help guys, my mom always looks through my room, supposedly "cleaning" it and doing me a "favor"
in reality, i find homework, papers, letters from friends all missing or where they shouldnt be. I've told her to stop looking through my **** for years now but every now and then she just has to look through my stuff.
I'm sick of finding things misplaced or completely gone, and i cant' do anything about it since she can do whatever she wants while i'm gone at school.
what should i do? install a deadbolt?
2006-09-26 14:57:34 · 13 answers · asked by Hi My Name is 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'll tellyou what I tell my own children. When I don't have to pay for you to eat, sleep, warm up or cool off, clothes and entertainment, then and only then can you request that I not come to your house and go through your things. And as for that deadbolt on your door, any locks placed on any door without my permission is a violation of your housing agreement and they will be removed and you will be held accountable for any damages to MY property. Both personally and financially.
2006-09-26 15:09:22 · answer #1 · answered by sleepingbeauty123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moms (and Dads) can be very nosey creatures. I've been in your shoes before. I have been journaling since I was 13 and when I was 17 my dad felt the need to read it. He swears it was laying open on my bed (I kept it in my nightstand, and ALWAYS put it away). Needless to say, there was a whole lot of stuff that he really didn't need to know. Additionally, I would use my journal to vent instead of blowing up at my parents. As you can imagine, there were a lot of mean and hateful things written as a result of some very intense, negative emotions. I didn't speak to him for about a month.
Your mom honestly has your best intrest at heart. Five years ago, I would have never believed I'd be saying that, but it's true. Parents have so many things to worry about these days, it's amazing they don't go crazy. Your mom is probably going through your things becuase she doesn't feel like she knows what is going on in your life. I know the last thing you want to do is open up to your mom when she is invading your privacy like she is, but if you talked with your mom about you and your life she will be less likely to go through your things. Try sitting down with her once a week or every two weeks. Maybe every Saturday morning you can go out to breakfast with her and talk about friends, school, etc. Plus she'll be absolutely tickled pink if you ask her. Mom's like that sort of thing. Trust me. My mom and I chat on the phone once a day, and we go get manicures and pedicures everytime I'm home from college. Just try to open up to her a bit. It will also help both of you to build trust in the other. Good Luck!
2006-09-26 22:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't say how old you are. But I have 4 children 3 girls and a boy and I NEVER went through their stuff EVER. I respected their privacy. Even when my oldest was giving me a run for my money and involved with the wrong crowd. I did not violate her space. I think this showd them I trusted them and she quickly turned around. Now. If your doing something to make your mom suspicious then you might be forcing her to behave this way. She obviously loves you and doesn't want you to become involved in something you may regret or may hurt you. Stop fighting about it and ask her if you can talk about it as adults. communication does a world of good . other wise buy a lock.
2006-09-26 22:09:04 · answer #3 · answered by careermom18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother loves you and is trying the only way she knows how to "check up" on you. ..... Her method isn't right, but understand she is trying to make sure your not into anything that might hurt you in some way. ..... .. This is gonna sound strange ... but give it a shot !! Like the lady said clean your room .. organize everything so you have labeled folders for your desk top (dresser top) what every you use as a display area..... make one of the folders with a label that says ..."Top Secret" Do Not Open.... or title it "Journal" ... your leaving bait for the sneaky snooper....
every so often put something new in the folder ...like a name and phone number with hearts drawn around it..... Sooner or later Mom will come to you and ask about the name :Jerry with the hearts ? Then ya got her....
Or ya could just be mature about it and speak to her face to face about the privacy intrusion.... ask her to put herself in your shoes .....and clean the room !
Sorry either way you gotta clean the room ...that takes away her excuse to go there in the first place.
If your filthy rich ...get a guard dog and hidden video !!
2006-09-26 22:31:35 · answer #4 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are paying rent then you have a right to a deadbolt. The smartest thing you could do is not keep hard copies of your private stuff for your mom to find it.
If you have a scanner, you could scan all your hard copies into your pc and place them in a password protected file that your mom can't access.
If you cannot do this then maybe you might consider NOT bringing it into the house to begin with.
My dad used to that kind of thing to me. I finally started putting things in plain sight and it was the best thing I could have done. The best hiding places are right under the 'snoopers' nose.
2006-09-26 22:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by NyteWing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you should talk to your mom from heart to heart. ya know... an adult discussion. your mom thinks that you are still her lil' baby that needed to be monitored at all time and you know yourself that you're not! if talking doesn't work, give her hints; ask for a lock, or find yourself a secret hideout to hide your secret stuff. or maybe you can lock the door while you're at school, keep all the spare keys that can be used to "break" into your room. just a reminder: don't use harsh words on her when you're discussing. she loves you so much, that's why she keeps on going through your stuff. she just doesn't understand that you're no longer her lil' baby. good luck!
2006-09-26 22:05:35 · answer #6 · answered by calixte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is just looking out for you. She wouldn't be doing her job if she left you alone to do what you want. You need to show mom you can make good decisions Then perhaps she will loosen up and give you your privacy.
2006-09-26 22:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by mopjky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could be more organized with your stuff, and put the things that are so important in a folder, book,etc... Put them someplace that is not in full view.
Remember you live under her roof so it might not go to well if you put a lock on the door.
2006-09-26 22:01:37 · answer #8 · answered by DIYer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy, my mother is always so nosy and never gives me some privacy. You should lock your door everytime you go to school, and then open it back with a bobby pin.
2006-09-26 22:01:00 · answer #9 · answered by exxohh<3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not right but depends have you given her a reason to snoop in your room? i would not like that either tho but if i did something wrong or hang with a bad crowd fo course moms will be curious always ...but talk to her and ask her or just dont leave what you dont want her to see in your room laying around ..or START CLEANING YOUR OWN ROOM!!!
2006-09-26 22:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by liltexas36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋