My fiance wants to just take the immediate family, bridal party, and a few close friends out to dinner. There would be no DJ, limos, cake, etc. We are paying for it ourselves and are trying to put money away to buy a house. So we cannot afford a full gala. Sometimes I am O.K. with the idea and other times I get so sad that I will regret not having all the traditional receptions memories. Delaying the wedding is not an option as we have been together for 11 years. We will be taking a honeymoon. He has said absolutely no loans. I need some advice. Please Help!
2006-09-26 14:43:56 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think it's an excellent idea. My wife and I did the same. We have never been in senseless debt and were able to buy a house immediately after getting married. I just think that traditional weddings are a waste of time, money and a lot of stress.
2006-09-26 14:47:43 · answer #1 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First thing - how long before the wedding? If you have over 6 months - you have time to plan.
My wife and I had about a year and we had a traditional wedding reception and paid for everything upfront, got a small loan that we paid off with money given us at the reception (we are NOT rich BTW) and still paid for a cruise honeymoon.
You can put together a wedding without all the extras. For instance - why have a limo? We just went to a family wedding where the reception was in an uncle's back yard! It was a traditional reception in an untraditional (read inexpensive) place!
Get a friend to be a DJ or bake the cake yourself? I was at one wedding and the cake as just a very well laid out stack of cupcakes! Looked good and was VERY inexpensive to do. The average DJ here in Michigan costs about $1700 dollars and we found a GREAT DJ that cost $600!
Use your imagination about how to do things. Instead of having people bring gifts you might not need - have them bring food for the reception! If you are having the wedding when it is nice - find a great park to have it at - they are usually VERY inexpensive or FREE!
If you want to have the recpetion catered - look around for someone cheap but does good food - and look for simple easy food, nothing expensive or pretensious.
I know I saw a book about receptions and how to cut corners - but I don't remember the name.
Sit down and write out all those things you think you MUST have at a reception and see if you can come up with inexpensive ways to do those things. Also come up with a list of things you DON'T want to have at the reception and make sure you do not have them.
Have your fiance do the same thing and then compare your lists. Then sit down and call around and see how much it would cost to do the MUST do things and then find ways to cut the corners to make it cheaper for you two.
Hope I have given you some ideas.
Good luck and cograts!
2006-09-26 14:56:23 · answer #2 · answered by tedly2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough. I went through the same thing-I did a destination wedding to avoid the cost and the hassles of a reception..then decided to have a reception back home afterwards because I didn't want to miss out on all of the traditional stuff. I'm lucky enough to have my mom paying for the entire thing, though...
if it were coming out of our pockets, I would opt for putting the money towards a house. You'll be much better off and ha ppier with the decision in the long run.
Another idea-why not do something more casual like outside in a park...and have close friends and family make food for it. Then, you could still have everyone come, and do all of the traditional stuff, but it doesnt have to be really expensive. If you do it during the day (1-4?) people won't eat or drink as much. You could just do finger foods and a light champagne punch (and a regular punch).
Good luck and congrats!
2006-09-27 03:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by abbya11111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my wedding on a cruise ship. We had about 50 people there on the ship before it left port. We had a quick ceremony and then a 2 hour reception. Then everybody left and we went on our cruise as our honeymoon. It was great and the whole thing cost under 10,000. It was semi-traditional. You could have even less people. Or you could do one of those party cruises depending on where you live. What I'm trying to say is, with some creativity, you could have a small, cheap wedding but still feel like you had something special.
But if that is too expensive for you, just do the dinner party. The important thing is that you get married. I think people these days get so carried away with weddings it's ridiculous. Your smart to save for the house and your future.
2006-09-26 14:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by Rairia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there are a couple of things that you should take into consideration. First of all men are practical creatures that are always looking at the bottom line. That's not to say that men don't mean well or have no emotions, but if it was up to men they would just sign the papers and be done with it. Kinda like buying a car.
Women are full of emotions and regret is a very bad emotion. The wedding industry revolves around emotion. Most girls grow up planning their wedding day since they can talk. I would suggest finding a middle ground but don't let him roll all over you. I have seen many people run off to Vegas, or Elope and later regret it. Have a small wedding, and try to keep it on a budget but don't forsake your wedding day all together. It's like the Prom, it's only a party, but one you never forget. Don't start off your relationship with resentment. Start off with cooperation and bargaining. Trust me there will be plenty of time for all the other emotions later.
If you want a site that has lot's of links to inexpensive wedding resources check out http://advancedvideo.50webs.com
2006-09-26 17:28:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
we spent ~£3500 on the whole thing, it used up our savings but we didnt take out any loans. i did major research about local venues, photographers, florists cakes etc and it paid off, dont bother with button holes for everyone, dont have a tribe of bridesmaids, make things yourself if you can, look for dresses - yours or bms and suits in sales. we had a civil ceremony in a hotel, also had the reception there, i got ready in the hotel so we didnt need to pay out for cars. if your having a church do, see if you can find one thats within walking distance of the reception venue and your (or your parents) home, walking to the church is unusual but would feel really special and that would be something really good to tell the kids about! we had our reception at 4pm by the time the photos had been taken and we'd done speeches and cake cutting it was time for dinner (~6pm) after dinner we just chilled out in the reception room and then moved on to the hotel bar, saved a fortune not having to pay for a dj and provide buffet. alternatively, bin the wedding breakfast and just have the evening do.
we got married on a wednesday and served wedding cake instead of getting the hotel to provide a dessert, this saved a lot of money, if you want some bits the hotel offers but not all, try to barter with them, getting married on a week day means you can try and knock the prices down with lots of your suppliers.
we honeymooned in his mum and dads caravan in buxton (UK) for a couple of days because that was all we could afford after the wedding. you can go on holiday any time but you only get one wedding.
i got everything i wanted without busting the bank, it can be done, you just have to be clever about it, not mind doing some of the stuff yourself, and being cheeky!
dont forget about your friends and family, if you have an aunty whos a dressmaker, or a cousin who's a good cake baker, ask them for these rather than gifts.
2006-09-28 04:32:57 · answer #6 · answered by jen_82_m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i got married last month 8/26 mine cost 24k and it is the most stupid thing i ever done in my life. don't get me wrong i had a wonderful day but at the same time i spent 24k for a one day event. now that the wedding is over and the honeymoon is over me and my wife went back to our "apartment" ha ha that's so stupid i fell for that "I always wanted to big wedding" and she was saying the same thing about the reception. and i fell for it "OK baby" I'm 24 so u live and u learn. if i can do it all over again ill get married in my mom back yard i don't care and buy me a House. my chick went all out. the only thing that i fill was smart on my part was, i didn't take out any loans just like u. but still 24k is GONE. sorry if I'm venting i just get mad every time i think about that money hahah. trust me don't dip into the house money keep the wedding nice and sweet. congrats and don't let thinks u cant afford mess up your day
2006-09-26 15:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be practical about it.... You may spend all your savings in a one night party, or use them for an all time home.
The gala, party, limos and all the other crap are good only for PRETENDING....You don´t make parties like that one every day, you don´t hang in a limo.... It´s NOT you.
It´s just a social invention that has very little to do with you and your couple.
Did you know that, in order to get married (at least according to the catholic religion) you don´t really need -forget about the gala.... the priest? Your wedding is something between you, your couple and God (whatever that means anyway).
So...you love each other? you want to be together? forget about the rest...this is between you two.
2006-09-26 14:52:47 · answer #8 · answered by pedro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what works best for you and reflects who you are and what you like, not what someone else likes. If you can't afford a lavish reception, then go simple. Many people, when asked, say that the simple inexpensive weddings are much nicer, cozier, etc than those that look like they're simply trying to impress everyone with how much money they have (or don't have some cases).
2006-09-26 17:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no problem with it. I'm not having a traditional ceremony, so why should anyone feel obligated to have a traditional reception? It may be kind of nice, too...you won't have to cater to a bunch of family members and friends of family members who you don't even care about!
However, if you want to make it a little bigger, remind him of the wedding gifts--many of which are CASH! If you keep it un-fancy, you may still be able to pay it back with that alone!
2006-09-26 18:41:30 · answer #10 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋