I am 14 years old and in the 9th grade. I'm taking advanced classes, and I make REALLY good grades. The problem is that I'm always stressed out, and I never have fun. I hate myself when I don't live up to my impossible standards.... I don't know how to change myself. Normal human beings don't cry when they make a 91 in their math class... I don't know what to do anymore.
2006-09-26 14:29:25 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Girl, don't stress yourself out! I am a junior and my honors classes OVERWHELM me! If I don't start on my homework when I get home, I'll never finish before midnight! Being stressed out is normal especially since you are focusing on keeping your good grades in your honors classes. You CAN still have fun, just finish all your homework fast (when you get home) and save some time to go on the computer, talk on the phone, or watch TV. Make sure you finish all homework on friday nights so you have nothing to worry about over the weekend! I understand your stress because we all go through it.. especially me! Just keep it up.. you are only a freshman and you should not be stressed out YET.
2006-09-26 14:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kaitlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with Ironwolf56. In addition . . .
I've been where you are. EXTREMELY stressed out when I had finals in college, etc. At the time, I thought that being a hard-worker and challenging my talents was the way to prove my competence. I'm 38 now, and I wish I would not have placed such high standards on myself. In addition to the risk of stunting your social skills (which probably happened to me), being a perfectionist means you do not forgive yourself when you fail at something (and you will). You put yourself in a position in which you set yourself up -- not to fail, but to ultimately feel less than adequate and unhappy.
I am a perfectionist. I wish I wasn't. I am alone, have few friends, and I am generally unhappy. Being perfect is impossible. My case is probably complicated by my mom's alcoholism, being in a foster home, etc. But if you are crying at getting an A- (or whatever 91 translates to), you should prevent it from worsening, while you still can shape your life habits.
Do your parents know about this? Being an overachiever is normally applauded. But I'm afraid in your case, it might be unhealthy. Allow yourself to feel good about a B. It might not "feel right", since you know you probably could do better if only you'd spent an extra hour studying. But, really, the cost is more than an hour. It might be your happiness.
2006-09-26 14:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by theone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't try to perfect. Perfect is impossible and will always end up in disappointment. You are obviously smart and gifted and pushing yourself is great, but if it interferes with your emotions its not healthy. Try to find a medium between work and play. I'm in my fourth year at an Art school and I'm pushing myself very hard, because I want to, I am taking 12 hours a class 4 days a week plus all of my studio time, right now its hard to keep a GPA above a 3.6 but im trying because I love it. If you love what you are doing and it makes you happy by all means go for it, but if you are doing this to please others, i.e. your parents then you are doing it for the wrong reasons, there is nothing wrong with taking a few classes you know you will like and are not advanced. Good luck and I hope you find a good balance.
2006-09-26 14:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by christopher p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hay relax ... you should take some after school activities .. I am in the 6th grade and i am the 2nd SMARTEST in the whole section ... {we have secions at my school.} Everyone comes to me for help and expects me to know what to do or what the answer is and i got REALLY stressed out like you are... you should do what i did and join an after school activity... such as basket-ball ,cheerleading, foot-ball ,soccar, or baseball anything you like .... It really calmed me down A LOT!!! now i can answer most questions that my fellow classmates have and i am even tutoring now ... I think it is GREAT not to be stressed out about it any more ... You could also try uoga.. I hear it helps too
I hope it works out for you and you can get a break from the stress ... Good Luck! And have fun!
2006-09-26 14:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to learn to just accept that your not perfect and move on past it... take a class that is cake work to make you feel better and then realize that even though you get an A- in one class your still smart in other classes... but i know its hard and i dont know if its something anyone can really get over... my girlfriend is like that... shes graduating college in a total of 2 years as a pre-med major and when she doesnt get 100% she goes nuts... and shes always stressed and breaking out in hives.... so good luck with that... also maybe try yoga or a sport... thats the only way my girl really relaxes because she can take out her anger with that and releave some of her grade anxiety
2006-09-26 14:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by ClevelandSportsFan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I live in Oregon I go to one of the top rated school, which all other schools around her don't like it because were the over achievers. Don't worry about being an over achiever.......it will be good in the out run. Oh..........and don't cry when u get a 91, that's still a great score. Einstein didn't get 100% on everything. Just relax!
2006-09-26 14:45:45 · answer #6 · answered by Becca C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Once an over-achiever, always an over-achiever. Unfortunately, these behaviors don't change over night. You need to seek help if you think it really is a problem for you. I am 27 years old and I still beat myself up over not purchasing a house when I was "supposed" to (by my own standards of course), not getting married when I was "supposed" to, etc. I had to realize that the standards I've set for myself are too high sometimes. I still have had trouble controlling my over-achieving behavior...I am currently pursuing my doctorate degree...Can't stop over-achieving.
2006-09-26 14:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Meg...Out of Hybernation 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should talk to a therapist; you may have OCD or something. What a lot of the over-achiever type fail to realize is that learning social and life skills in high school and college is just as important as facts and figures. Why do many of these geniuses end up in middle of the road jobs? Because I feel they don't have the social savvy and drive to get to the top.
2006-09-26 14:32:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ironwolf56 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, keep your grades up.
But to have some time for yourself and relax
spend more time on Y/A. Look for really stupid
or funny questions and give the same kind of answers.
That should make you laugh and everybody else too.
Warning: This site is addictive.
2006-09-26 14:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to a parent or your guidance counselor. You don't need to be putting that much stress on yourself. I have a friend who just turned 30 and is still that way-in and out of therapy trying to figure out life because she didn't do it when she was young.
You have so much life ahead of you that if you continue as you are, you will only make yourself crazy!!!
Good luck!!!
2006-09-26 14:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by snshnbtrflis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋