Ok, I had sex for the first time when i was 11, i am now getting ready to turn 15.. but anyways we stayed together for a year. And after we broke up {12} I started feeling depressed. But he still wanted to be with me.. He kept sending me different signals.. One minute he would be nice the next he would just treat me so wrong. Anyways, I have been a good friend to him for 3 years but he wants more than that. The only problem is that he went to the detention home and Im thinking that the only reason he wants to be with me now is to take advantage of me. Im ashamed because I didnt wanna tell that i lost my v-card and Im confused because of how he acts.. Is he using me or what.. he tells me he loves me.. What do you think?. And please dont be mean.. Any help at all would be great. Thank you.
2006-09-26 14:17:28 · 27 answers · asked by ? 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Damon listen sweetheart! First of all you were 11 years old that is way to young to be having sex. At that age you don't even really know what it is much less the word love! You were depressed because you knew you were to young and you thought that now everyone else knows at your school or who ever the both of you hung out with that you had sex at 11. Pressure is a big thing and not easy to say no to. Honey the only reason he would be nice to you at times is because he knew he could get sex from you if he wanted to. I am sorry I know this isn't what you want to hear but you need to hear it. He used you and is still trying to use you. Listen to what you said a detention home........... come on now that should tell you right there that he is no good and he is only wanting you now because no one else will have him. He should have never of had sex with you at 11 anyway, so he has already taken advantage of you, think about it! You are I am sure a pretty girl and a smart girl you just got caught up in a mess and didn't know a way out and now you think he is the one because you know nothing else. He has used you and he still is using you.
Listen to me don't give in to him or any boy again until you are old enough to handel and understand everything there is to know about sex and love. Love is just a word at your age unless you are saying it to your parents, or your friends, or family. But love doesn't hurt you like this, like you are feeling now. Trust me your time will come when you do find that special someone that will take all this pain away and he will understand you and respect you. Please no more sex not until you are ready emotionally and physicially, trust me you will respect your self and feel so much better about yourself. Don't feel ashamed you did nothing wrong you fell for the lines he was feeding you and the promises he was telling you at the time.
He is a looser and will never amount to anything. You deserve better and if you wait and don't rush love or sex you will be so much happier. Trust me on this. He doesn't love you, he doesn't even know what it means, or how it feels, all he knows is that if he says it you believe it and he can have anything he wants from you. STAY away from him. Keep your grades up and make something of your self and move on.
I wish you all the Best and I will Pray for you to have understanding of all of this.
Always Amy
2006-09-26 14:43:36 · answer #1 · answered by heart2heart27958 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay.......first of all, stop wasting your time feeling ashamed. You were 11 years old. You've paid enough for that one. As for feeling confused, I don't blame you. Sex carries a lot of emotional baggage--not just the physical stuff. You KNOW you should stay away from this guy, or you wouldn't be so confused. If he's in a detention home, that means HE is having a rough time straightening himself out. There are people there that can HELP him do that--it's not your responsibility. Being 14/15 is hard enough without trying to save someone else.
Maybe he does love you. Maybe he just wants to use you. Bottom line is, he has to get himself straight first. If you're super freaked-out you "lost your v-card", take this time of your life to do something you're PROUD of for yourself--like explore new extra-curricular activities, work on your grades, get a part time job--all things built around you, not a boy. Fill your time with positive activities that make you feel GOOD about yourself instead of wasting the emotion on feeling ashamed. The confusion will end as you get to know yourself better through these positive outlets.
Best of luck sweetie--you CAN have a great life--make it for yourself! :)
2006-09-26 21:25:10 · answer #2 · answered by Wander Woman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you should have not had sex at 11. You are young and need to enjoy your childhood. You need to worry about school and friends. Boys come and go. Never let a boy manipulate you. Boys will say and do anything to get what they want. You are now 15 and you have your whole life ahead of you. Let him go because as you get older and understand life you will find the right guy for you. He is already in detention you don't need a boy like that. You need someone who knows what they want out of life and has goals set for themselves. Life is not easy when your a teen you go thru many changes. Find yourself, set goals for yourself and become successful. A boy may stop you from your dreams. Good Luck!
2006-09-26 21:30:08 · answer #3 · answered by nena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First!!- U dont need to be thinkin about no boy/man-- at that age. There are these things called: diseases, pregnancy, and did i mention diseases!!-- sweetie u need to think-- not at "just that moment"-- but think, now what happens if u would have gotten pregnant- r u or him able to take care of the baby- WITH NO HELP!!-- a man is goin to tell u things he wants u to 'only hear"- and not only that, but it sounds lik he enjoys playing mind games with u, if a male knows that he has u n his beckon call-- he can say jump, and u will. Just think of it this way- he is there for a reason - now it is time for u to move on and concentrate on your self, go to college, get into a career that u want to do, Question: What do u want to be when u grow up, can u answer that, and what are u doin to achieve that goal. Now that was not mean - now was it-smile!
2006-09-26 21:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by re r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear don't be ashamed of yourself. Love yourself, you are a wonderful and beautiful person. Your are definitely too young to have a relationship let alone be having sex...by the time you are twenty you will probably hate yourself and hate men more. Enjoy your teen your years, you'll be a teen or a child only once in your lifetime. Give you self time, know, love and appreciate you and when the time is right for a relationship you will know and you will make the right choice then.
2006-09-26 21:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are WAY too young to be in this situation. Any guy who would have sex with an 11 yr old has some serious issues-- and I mean pedophilia.... Get away from him before he hurts you more than he already has.
And some counseling would be a good thing for you-- your self-esteem has taken a really bad hit.
2006-09-26 21:21:11 · answer #6 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if you still have the feeling for him. Is he is the right person for you? is he make a move to make you more importance in his life. Or he is taking you for granted?
If all of the above are still unsre for you. Better to take a deep deep breath and think of yourself for a momment. You need to move on with your life if you want a good future. Dont look back at the past. Start your first step from zero. Slowly and surely.
2006-09-26 21:25:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might be a bit old fashioned but I don't know what you mean by v-card.
Regardless... if you are uncomfortable *at all* with renewing an intimate relationship with this young man then don't. Sometimes you have to listen to what your sub-conscious is trying to tell you.
You haven't mentioned whether or not you have strong feelings with this guy. I suspect you don't or we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Don't let him guilt you into doing anything you don't want to do. If he is your friend he will understand. If he seems to get upset with you over this than he really isn't a friend.
Be true to yourself kiddo. You are your own best friend.
2006-09-26 21:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If anyone is mean answering you back ignore them. They aren't respecting you as a person asking for real help.
Yes 11 years old is very young to have sex but it doesn't mean you have to continue having it if you don't want to. (for whatever reason..it's your choice)
To me he definitely wants to take advantage of you in all ways possible.If someone really cares for another they aren't nice one day and hateful the next. The 2 just don't mix.
You are still very young for a permanent love relationship.Leave him ,start dating,have fun and enjoy your young years until you find someone who loves and respects you for who you are and not for what you can give him.Don't let anyone put you down.Let these mixed messages go before he does real damage to you emotionally.....All the best
2006-09-26 21:33:08 · answer #9 · answered by tea cup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, he is using you. YES, he's taking advantage of you. No, you should not fall for his advances. YES, there is still time to turn your reputation around.
Try looking for a guy who cares about you and not what you can give them sexually.
AND whatever you do, stay away from guys who are in the detention center, jail, etc... they are NOTHING but trouble... especially to young girls.
2006-09-26 21:21:48 · answer #10 · answered by J D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋