Sister in Law ruining her and everyone elses life - help.?

Question

My new sister in law has some issues. She had a bad experiance in high school and has since then (she is now 25) refused to graduate highschool - although got a GED, is OCD, cant hold a job for more then a month, drinks heavily, is a cutter and does drugs. Her family has done everything but throw her out. I say throw her out, show some tough love. But her mom, doesn't have the strength and refuses. Her stepdad is threatening to leave unless her mom does something. My husband (her brother) and I have offered to take her in (we live in the city) but she is terrified and says she will be mugged along with a thousand other excuses. Her parents even offered to give us money to help out. But she still refuses. All she does now is lives in the family's attic, watches tv and smokes/drinks all day. I am not really sure what to do, I want to help. But don't know where to start. Please, if anyone knows anything about a situation like this, can offer advice, please help...I love my new family..

I should mention that his mom has asked me for advice, and that my husband is worried sick about them. Also, if she did move in with us, if she didnt get a job within a month - she'd be out.

Thanks everyone who answered.. you have no idea how much it means to me.

And last but not least, she is on medication, she has been to aand over the years been to a number of therapists, has been admitted to hospitals and rehabs..

Answer 1

I would stay out of it. People like her will never change. Sorry for being negative but that is all that I see around me.

Answer 2

Maybe if she was Your blood or Your daughter, you'd feel differently about showing tough love by throwing her out. Yes, throw her out of the house into the streets--that will straighten her out. No, actually It will make it so much worse. Then she'll be free to all the drugs in the world and she may end up letting someone pimp her just to have a roof over her head and a little cash to buy liquor and drugs. If that is hard to imagine, consider how you said she spends her days. That alone indicates that she's already at a very low point in her life. On top of being into drugs, she is an alcoholic and a cutter. I had a friend who told me she did that, and she also admitted to me that she had thought about committing suicide a few times. Your sister-in-law does have some serious issues and she needs some serious help. The worse thing a family can do is to give up on someone like this and throw them out to survive on their on--especially someone like this who is still young. She needs support. I suggest prayer-individual and family prayer, a family intervention, and tough love by demanding she go to a treatment center for alcohol and depression.

Answer 3

Your sister-in-law needs to be in therapy to get through the issues from 6-7 years ago. She may also need medication to help through this time. She may not be capable of looking for a job or holding one down, if she is as bad as you say and might need to be in residential therapy for a while.

If you do invite her to stay with you, there should be some written house rules: Therapy, no smoking, or drinking, no sleeping in past a reasonable time (you specify).

My husband and son have mental health issues and have been in therapy and on medication to help them get through their issues.

Answer 4

OCD-MHMRA(mental health mental retardation) she needs professional help !st . A person like that needs strict guidance on how to survive in a world thats probabley her mind can't keep up with............make a few phone calls,ask a few basic questions from a professional that can better explain to you why you never know there may be something deeper than what's on the surface

Answer 5

Whatever you do......DO NOT allow this poor excuse for a human being come to your house or you will be an enabler like the rest of the family. BUTT OUT and mind your own business. If she was my daughter, she would have been gone a long time ago. Again, this is not your problem and it is not up to you to solve it. What goes on in their house.......is none of your business. Be a good girl and get on with your own life!

Answer 6

Letting her move in would only create problems for you and your husband. Of course you want to help, but getting involved like that is not the solution. You can't give her the kind of help she needs, and it sounds like she isn't ready to accept help from anyone. The best you can do is be supportive of your husband and his parents.

Answer 7

examining your question grow to be complicated artwork notwithstanding it got here approximately. i don't be attentive to no be counted in the experience that your better half's mom is loopy,yet her behaviour is actual out of line. you may set limits on the relationship which may well be binding on the two sides. Set particular situations for traveling your loved ones and your husbands-making it honest and equitable. Your toddler is to be referred to as with the help of the call which you have given him (and the different toddlers that are born to you and your husband) till that toddler is formally an grownup and has the suitable of decision interior the subject. incorporate on your contract the quantity of funds which could substitute palms between you.additionally, I propose that this be executed as a written criminal rfile,in 3 copies- one for you and your husband,one on your husband's relatives and one to proceed to be interior the palms of the attorney.

Answer 8

Ask GOD 2 forgive her and help her.
Ask him to save her and sent her free.
Pray that she will get help someway somehow.
Just keep on helping her and she'll make it.
Now if she gets all cry baby about things.
You better set her straight.
Don't let her trick you, tell her whats what.