I was expected to watch my husbands kids when they visit and spent more time with them than he did. I was ready to have my own children but he made excuses all the time why we should wait. We originally agreed to have our own children once we were married but I feel he decieved me. Now I am preggo and he's been so pissed about it. Am I wrong for not wanting to watch his kids anymore after the way he's been acting toward me? It's not like I was getting much help or appreciation from him.
2006-09-26 13:58:01 · 8 answers · asked by Kisses 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, not wrong, but its not the kids fault he's a butt head. HOpefully he will get out of this mood...THIS IS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY, he needs to seriously consider changing his attitude, or consider mailing you child support for the next 18 years
2006-09-26 14:01:20 · answer #1 · answered by tw9165 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are wrong for not watching his kids. Please don't listen to the advice the one girl said about child support. That's just ignorant. Money wont' solve your problem. I can help. I'm a married man with 2 of my own kids and my wife has one child. We agreed that MAYBE later in our marriage we would have our first child together. There were times when we fought where she would leave the house and she would always take her daughter with her and leave my kids with me. All it did was develop a seperation in the family. If you want a FAMILY, don't draw a line that seperates it. There was even once when she got mad at me and she used the kids to try and hurt me. So she dropped them off at my job as I had just clocked in. To this day, that still bothers me. Don't ever try and hurt him by using the kids as a tool. It's funny that now I am the one that watches her daughter for her M-F, because she works 2nd shift now. I would never tell her I'm not watching her child just because I am mad at HER. I watch her child and my own kids. I have my kids half of the week, so the other half I'm alone with her daughter and I don't have a problem with it. My wife is now pregnant by the way and things are starting to get better. If he is not doing his part, try other ways of getting his attention. Don't use the kids. If you feel like you are doing him a FAVOR by watching his kids, you shouldn't be married to HIM or ANY other man that has children. Children are too precious to be treated like that. I'm sure if you were a newlywed Mom you wouldn't like it if you had to say THANK YOU every time to your new husband for watching your child from a previous marriage. Make him do his part..talk to him. Tell him what bothers you and most importantly, WHY it bothers you. If he doesn't listen or try to work with you THEN you will indeed have a problem. Please realize one good thing out of this. He obviously trusts you with his kids and that is great. I feel comfortable when my kids are with my wife and that feels good. Lastly, her daughter now calls ME daddy. That is a sign of the impact a parent can have when spending time with their spouses child. Just because you may not share the same blood doesn't mean a child won't look at you as a Mom. Kids don't care about DNA! Bless you and your family. I'm sorry if this answer was too long..take care!
2006-09-26 21:30:04 · answer #2 · answered by vmdv15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he deceived you. The other parent never appreciate what you do to help them because all they remember is things you did not do. You are taken the back seat to his children and that is not good. You need to fix it immediately by making him make some choices. Those children are not yours, and if they are not being thankful may be you need to stop help with the children for a month or so. In the month while you are not halping withthe children maybe he will realize how much you were doing for his kids.
2006-09-26 22:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by Errolyn27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married him, and the kids were part of the package, so you are obligated to them. Be the bigger person and embrace his children. If you care for his kids, you will score points with him.
Regarding your pregnancy, he will come around. He may be feeling conflicted right now if he senses you are rejecting his own kids and are expecting another one.
2006-09-26 21:09:47 · answer #4 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mistake is with your husband because he has agreed to have children by you now he goes back on his word. You should make him keep his word
2006-09-26 21:07:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mr Business 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sucks. Consider counseling before baby arrives so he can get over his anger and you won't feel resentment.
2006-09-26 21:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to communicate better . this is no time to be mad , this should be a happy time. set aside alone time with him and straighten this out before it gets worse and you are left alone to raise your child. good luck.
2006-09-26 21:18:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow your right it is fair and he has been deceving you
2006-09-26 21:10:39 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋