When can you butt in and save a child from abuse?

Question

I have a cousin, who I love and adore. She came down from Colorado to Texas during the summer to escape her mother—who’s losing her mind. She integrated into the family and we miss her so much.

Now that she’s back home, her parents are abusing her. Her mother is never home, her father is rarely, but when they are, all hell breaks loose. She gets in trouble all of the time for the dumbest of things and the punishments are severe.

She left her stuff on the counter a couple of times in the bathroom, and now her mother only allows her to go to the one in the basement—which is dark and full of spiders—of which she is terrified.
Then she gets a call from her school. She hasn’t been turning assignments in on time (imagine that! A mother that nuts that also makes her practice the flute for an hour every morning); so, she’s distracted-more like terrified. She “lied” about not turning in a homework paper—you see, she lies because she’s scared of the way her mother would react given the truth; and by the way, her mother is a habitual liar and going for a doctorate in psychology. She compares her daughter to the delinquents she works with at a social services place, and these people have killed family pets and beat up mothers and stuff. So, for “lying” she cannot be upstairs or on the main level. She has to stay in the basement all of the time and sleep there.

But now she’s threatening even more, and she’s serious. Next time she’s not even allowed in the house. She will have to sleep outside. And then she’s going to shave her head. And this woman is serious. She does not make idle threats

This little girl is precious, intelligent and in the 7th grade. I want to hold her so badly and tell her that everything will be all right, but when is the time to intervene? Her dad just backs up her mom. And she’s adopted; so, we wouldn’t get her—she’d go into foster care or something. What do you do?

Answer 1

i was adopted also, my abuse was emotional, as well as physical, when my real parents put me in a adoption home, i then was adopted by two parents, "mom" was an emotional and physical abuser "father" just backed her up. never saying anything. the way i felt? terrified. counting the steps that my mom was coming up, wondering if she would open my bedroom door and verbally abuse me, she was a drinker. i was so terrified of living, wondering why my "new mom" did not love me. the emotional scars are very hard to forget. it turns into emotional baggage when that child grows up. the phyisical abuse goes away but never forgotten.fully trusting peole was not an option. i know its hard and a big responsibility, but would you want to be in that situation? a helpless situation like that. since i have been there where that precious little girl is right now, as for myself i would not hesitate to call someone immediatly. What would you do? you have the ability to save a precious childs life.

Answer 2

Foster care could be as bad or worse. You have to weigh it in your heart. Don't confront the parents. Just support the little girl. You could try being the foster parents. Foster care is foster care, adopted or not.

As for the threats, this woman is not stupid. I doubt she will do anything that will show, like shaving the child's head. She is inflicting emotional damage and terrorizing this child. This should be stopped, no matter the risks of foster care. It is a toss of the dice. She could end up better off, or worse.

Every one at the child's school is a mandated reporter. If she tells any teacher, office worker, principal or counselor, they must report it to Child Protective Services. You may advise the child of this and let her make the decision.

Good luck.

Answer 3

call the mother and tell her if she keep abusing this girl then you will call the authorities and have her investigated by the dcf.And believe me those workers will be able to see right through that mother. And they will take the girl somewhere else to be interviewed. If you call the mother and tell her this some of this might stop her and make her think. What is wrong with the neighbors do they not see this going on?If the mother threatens you then I would definately call the authorities and let them know this sort of thing never gets better only worse. Why has'nt the school reported this? You should also talk to the guidance counselor and let her know what is going on . She will most definately keep an eye on that child. Do it now before it is too late.
good luck hope this helps.

Answer 4

ok, i will prolly catch hell ( in the form of emails) but DO NOT call/contact the paretns. It will make it worse on the child. Been there,done nothing. I was abused,and for me to know u know this, makes me mad i dont know these ppl!!!! " can we say , the house burnt to the ground and it was an accident!?" CALL THE STATE!!!!! DO NOT WAIT, DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT 100 DOLLARS!! CALL THE STATE and report it. asap!.if this dumb bi*ch works at social services,then she should KNOW not to do this stuff!! some ppl would love to have a kid, older or not,they dont care. foster care may be bad, but it would be better than where she is. She may have a better start in life. "DO IT! DO IT! MAKE THE CALL!!!!" ( are my telepathic powers working!?!?)

Answer 5

I had the same problem with a friend who was getting abused and when I asked what to do everyone told me to TELL someone TELL some before she dies or something bad will happen to her she could even get severely injured or she could die at such a young age this is what is corrupted with people these days too much abusing and we as people MUST tell someone go to the police station or tell your mom or someone so they can do something about this poor little helpless girl....your the only one who can save her from dying or getting hurt really bad..I hope this will help you to know that you have to tell someone

Answer 6

OH HELLLLL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have a responsibilty to report any thing that doesnt seem right. Even if it is family. I may be hard for you to make that call. I called DHS on my sister who was using drugs and abondoned my niece... I am in IA and she is in FLA, and you are damn right that I called on her. It breaks my heart to know how many people would die to have a child, and love that child and cant have one. There are so many people out there that take having a child for granted. If you have any doubts..read what you wrote again.. think about what that child is going through..the pain the fear. Now think if you were that child. Would you want someone to save you and make you feel safe? Every child deserves to have a happy childhood...make that call and dont wait another second..that could be the difference between life and death!

Answer 7

In Canada Ontario at least it is your legal responsibility to report the abuse if you even suspect it. I am pretty sure, at least that is what I have been told - sometimes the authorities will help the abuser get some help - call the authorities block your number and talk to them without mentioning names and get armed with information.

Answer 8

Contact the local Child protective services in her area , if I can b of any further assistance yahoo ID soulstore

Answer 9

if you can find a way to prove all of this then turn their lousy assess in to the authorities...if you wait too long something else might happen that u wont have any control over

Answer 10

I would contact the social services and tell them what you know.
Maybe in one way it will be proved, by neigbors there and what not.

I hope it all works out and she's okay!