I recently told my parents that I was moving a few hours away to be with my boyfriend. I am a single mom, so my parents are using that as the reason why I shouldnt move. My BF is an amazing man, with a steady head on his shoulders. He adores my children, and adores me as well. My childrens father is barely in thier lives and I know my BF would step up and be that man in thier lives. I know this is the man I will marry, but no one in my life is happy for me AT ALL. Most of them are not talking to me. On the other had his family is soooo amazing and they cant wait for me to move. He is buying a home and has a great job, and so I wont ask him to move to be with me ( although I know if I did, that he would pick up and leave everything for me) How do I get my family to respect my decision? The odd thing is that they like him. I am so hurt by all of this, and dont feel like I am doing anything wrong. I know my heart and know in my mind what is right for me and my children..HELP
2006-09-26 13:05:34 · 9 answers · asked by Jessie_love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
this is definately your family's problem let them deal with it . You have done nothing wrong except fall in love and there is nothing wrong with that. Your parents should be glad that you have a decent man in your life. No instead they are fearfull that you will leave them. Well let them stew in their own juice and you do what you know in your heart is right. good luck .
2006-09-26 13:13:13 · answer #1 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let me truthful and forth coming when I say it's difficult. My finance has "children" and at first I was cool with the whole idea of him having children and them visiting him when I stayed over. However, the reality of it never hit that he is responsible for them that means even when the other parent isn't around. With that said I moved in with him then so did two other children of his. All the patience I had in the beginning went out the door. I had no privacy and often felt resentment towards the fact that I felt they were impeding on my happiness. I felt like they were always around and the was never a moment when I could be free of them and their rumbustious behavior. I don't blame them it's hard enough to be in a relationship with someone and move in together and then realize that you both have way too many differences not tomention if you throw children in the loop it gets a little more complicated. Now on the childrens behalf I would like to add this though it is important that they have their own space to have some free reign as well and enough space to continue to develope that bond with you without feeling like they have to compete for attention from you (because now they'd share you with him) they already have siblings to compete with. Well, good luck I am with my fiance because I try to look at the brighter side of things yet to come but even the most patient loving person gets frustrated with this type of situation at times and even tests the limits of your love for one another.
2006-09-26 13:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like you have eclipsed the problem.
i read and thought at first your parents didn't see the problem. and the more you framed the problem it's was well (shortage of time) answer well put by you but it's your answer to accepts. see you need to go do your (human bonding) love your parents because you have stated that the lonely hurt here is the loose of love between you and your parents they may want you where they have you assuring them that you'll be there as something special to them. anytime you get up and start running around with your heart your parents are still locked up in the little girl maybe that you were, they can see everything and nothing as the saying going, if you seem hurt go cuddle up with your favorite parent and hurt no more.
2006-09-26 13:22:41 · answer #3 · answered by bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems unwise to hook up so much of your life and that of your children with a man without the benefit of the commitment of marriage. It would be better to keep seeing each other until you are ready to be married, and then to get married. If he adores you and your children, that shouldn't be too much to ask of him. I think your family would probably have more respect for that decision. It would also be better for your children. What if he never decides he's ready to get married? If you are living with him with your kids, you're likely to feel stuck with what you have.
2006-09-26 13:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps your loved ones is in contact. They dont want the youngsters harm back yet yet another "father determine", or heck, they dont want you harm the two i'm effective. perhaps as quickly as there's a hoop on your finger, some plans got down to tutor your loved ones that it is the real element they may well be extra accepting. do no longer make it sound like a spontaneous element yet a mature and theory out and in charge decision, that way in the event that they attempt to combat it they'll appear like stupid fools. kudos for finding a guy that loves you AND your kiddos, God is conscious that is hard to do especially situations. :) And take it from me, that is better brownie factors for YOU considering that his family participants is so wonderful, makes life super. :)
2016-10-18 01:01:25 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can't help you if you can't see that moving in with a boyfriend doesn't make you a family, it only makes you a single mom with a kid and some guy she's dating. Make it official and the whole thing would make more sense to us all.
2006-09-26 13:08:50 · answer #6 · answered by live2ride 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen:don't live with your boyfriend.your parents are smart.i lost my 32 year old daughter in jan.her boyfriend was emotional abusive to her.i tried to get her to leave him but she kept going back and forth to him.i tried so hard.my daughter is telling me from heaven to you that it is better you do not live with him.please.i am only trying to help you.i am raising my daughter's daughter age 10.you don't want your family to shoulder taking care of your children if anything happens to you.take care.
2006-09-26 13:22:19 · answer #7 · answered by k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the end, it's your decision, not theirs. Do whatever is right for you and your children. Hope it works out for you.
2006-09-26 13:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by clouds22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if they love you they will go with it, so move out and they should be fine it may take some time.
2006-09-26 13:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋