I'm white and my girlfriend is black. We haven't been dating very long(maybe 3months), but we've known eachother for years. I've always been in love with her, and I know she's in love with me... But I can't help to think that she feels uncomfortable in our mixed relationship sometimes. At times, we get stares or someone will joke about us, but I ignore it and don't really care. I've dated plenty of girls of other races and she's hasn't dated a white guy before...How can I help her cope with this? Do I approach her about it?
2006-09-26 12:59:02 · 14 answers · asked by fallen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you've known each other for years you should be able to talk. Just ask her how she feels being with you, if something is bothering her maybe she'll let you know. I don't think I'd push the subject directly though because she might think your the one having the problem, that would make matters worse.
2006-09-26 13:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by Sean 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is uncomfortable for her you probably have a problem. She has to get over this on her own. Maybe set up a double with another interracial couple that have been together awhile and maybe that will help her see that it will work. My best friend has been with a black man for six years and they became comfortable about a year into dating. They just started ignoring the stares but most people that stare have a bigger problem than she does. Good luck to you and her.
2006-09-26 13:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by 51ain'tbad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My view on things would be that you should only acknowledge the problem, if she starts to show problems with it then tell her that just becuase u hav different races that has nothing to do with the fact that u love her, and well truthfully i don't think that race should be a problem in a relationship even though other people point it out just shrug it off like rain drops on a rain coat
2006-09-26 13:10:47 · answer #3 · answered by The Black Rose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and understand it. It is very common for a blk man to date a wht woman, but no so much the other way around. Let her know that as long as ya'll love each other, f**k what other people think. Help her think of it as yuo and her against the world. Good Luck!!
2006-09-26 13:04:53 · answer #4 · answered by vernise2679 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already said it that she hasn't dated a white guy before. so your relationship with her is something really new and strange for her. what you are doing right now is good. you are showing to her that you are committed in your relationship. maybe you have to always assure her that you really love her and are very serious about your relationship.
unfortunately what you want cannot be achieved in a day. so you have to be very patient about it. there might be times that you might argue over it. but if you truly love her, then be very patient and loving. i think you are already headed in that direction.
Good luck!
2006-09-26 13:36:18 · answer #5 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if two people really care for one another they shouldn't even be payin attention to how anyone else sees it. nobody can live your life for you and by you or her being that self conciouse about what other people think is in a way letting them control your life. if being together makes you two happy then be happy, people will always find a reason to judge someone else but it aint there job like my boy Pac said ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.
2006-09-26 13:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm white and my husband is black.... and our kids are white because he adopted my oldest two kids... so we get lots of stares.....and jokes...and even unkind things....
i think you should talk to her about it.... remind her how much you love her and then say..i've noticed you feel uncomfortable sometimes when we are out and people are staring at us... and let her take the conversation from there.....
2006-09-26 13:03:35 · answer #7 · answered by myheartisjames 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she is uncomfortable i think its her problem/lose if she likes u and is closer to love she should b comfortable and not care at all its what u both feel that matters not others thoughts! u might need to speak w/ her about her feelings for u
2006-09-26 13:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she says nothing about it to you, leave it alone. Or try asking her if she's comfortable being with you. Don't make it obvious that you're reason for asking has anything to do with your racial difference. I think all you need to do is communicate. Good luck
2006-09-26 13:07:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel comfortable in your relationship so that you can discuss this issue with her.
2006-09-26 13:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋