Should I put my son in Special Ed?

Question

I really don't think that he needs it. He just barely turned five and he is in kindergarden. I think it is to soon for his teacher to make that determination. I mean this is his first year of school. I think his teacher might just be a little lazy, but she is putting alot of pressure on me to do this. What should I do?

Answer 1

A teacher can't just put a child in special education, by law. What teachers can do is if they see a child who is struggling they can refer to the team for an evaluation to see whether the child qualifies for special services and thus specialized help. To do the testing to discover what the learning issues are they have to have your permission.

However, another option is to refer the child to the school's pre-referral team for advice and assistance. They can include you as part of the team.

The bottom line is your child is struggling for some reason and needs some extra assistance. And it ought be targeted to exactly what HE needs. While it sometimes can be the teacher it can also be something minor that if caught early can be corrected, or he might just learn differently than the typical child. You have to help at home, too, not just depend on the school.

I know you want your son to learn. If he's struggling he'll get frustrated and start to dislike or hate school. I'm sure you don't want that either.

You have two choices: focus on te label or blaming.....or team up with the school to figure out what he needs and be a partner.

This issue is getting him the help he needs. My guess is the teacher is trying to do this (even if you don't like the way she is doing it, or even if she and your son aren't a good match in the classroom)

It is VERY important that the earlier he gets assistance the more likely he can get to grade level or above and get the issue resolved.While no one wishes to over-label, waiting too long can lead your son to be very behind and frustrated and may hinder progress the rest of his life. Which means job and career as well as school achievement.

Important: take him to the doctor. Make sure there is not a medical reason for a struggle like vision, hearing, or other medical issues. Ask for a heavy metal and toxins lab tests as these can interfere with learning if they are in the body. Sickle cell anemia and other chronic medical problems can sometimes interfere with learning. Also, and it seems obvious, make sure your son gets enough sleep with a regular and early enough bedtime. Lack of sleep for medical or lack of enough hours can really interfere with concentration and learning.


First choice for help is in the classroom with support (the pre-referral team can help with this by suggesting another way to teach, providing a little extra help, observing the classroom to get info and/or supporting the teacher and your son and you in other ways ) and the second choice is, if all the extra help using good instruction hasn't helped, then you and your son need to know what is happening and where the struggle is coming from. Testing is a great way to do this when done well.

I suggest the following:

1. Talk to the teacher about pre-referral team support before special education testing. Tell her you recognize that she's trying to help him even if you and she disagree on whether it's time to move to special education evaluation.

2. Help your child at home as you probably do now but observe closely as possible how he struggles and where and on what subjects

3. If the teacher is insistent, then ask the principal his or her opinion. (Don't hide this from the teacher, let her know you are going to do so not to get her in trouble --after all no one likes to feel they are not respected or someone is going behind thier back--but to get a second opinion). Ask the principal about pre-referral efforts, review of needs, and supports than can be put in place. there are limits on these but some should be offered if nothing else to put heads together and to get more than one person taking a look.)

4. If the team takes a look and helps, and your child is still struggling......no, its not too early to get him extra support that qualifying for special services can do. It beats failing and emotional frustration for your son and those tests and the evaluators can tell you AND the teacher 1) if he doesn't have special needs for special ed but here's how to help him further with his struggles OR 2) he has this issue that is the reason he is struggling and here's how we can help with these extra services. The bottom line again is Learning.

5. Even if he qualifies for services insist he is in the regular classroom as much as possible and still get what he needs. But listen if they say he needs something

6. Ask for review to see if he can get up to speed and exit special services (but still watch him for support or falling behind) periodically unless you still see the struggle yourself

7. Get a second opinion on the testing for services if you have good reason to question it. Make sure the psychologist or speech language pathologist knows school regulations and requirements.

Good luck. Just remember, your son needs to learn and that's the real issue. If he needs something he needs something. Kindergarten is not too early if there truly is a problem but you also need to get more input at this point. Waiting could handicap him.

Answer 2

What reasons does she have for special ed? I think it is too soon to put your son in Special ED unless there is a problem that Kids can not over come. All I can think of is that she might say he has a behavioral problem.. Kindergarten children should only know the basics of school work.If your child does not have any problems with ABC's and simple counting and math...1+1=2.. he should catch up on his own. Kids are sponges

Answer 3

First of all a child can not be placed in Special Ed if he/she doesn't qualify based on certain criteria. It has nothing to do with the teacher really... the teacher just identifies symptoms that might qualify a student for the services.

If your child qualifies, it doesn't mean that he is deficient in all aspects... but teaching him coping mechanisims early on is so much easier for him to learn as he goes than to wait until he is in 3rd grade and try to untrain him and retrain his brain in how he learns and gathers new information.

If a child does qualify they are reevaluated every year to see if the services should continue. Let me tell you that these services are costly to a school district so they would prefer that not even one student be given extra services unless they absolutely need it.

It sounds like the teacher is doing her job. Let me assure you that even if he doesn't qualify that it should suggest that the teacher is bad/lazy it means that you have someone at that school who really wants that child to do well/ Please treat him/her as an ally. I can absolutely assure you from personal experience that it is a hell of a lot of work to recommend a student to special ed. Calling the parent is the first step but there is so much documentation and paperwork and meetings the teacher has to attend it can be exhausting and that is just with one student.

I heard many parents deal with this same decision (including my sister) they frequently believe that it means something is wrong with their child or that they made a mistake in parenting. I want you to see it differently. If your child needed glasses would you deny him because his appearance would be altered greatly? Of course not. Special Education is designed to give children that need it assistance so that the 'playing field' is leveled a bit.

This must be hard on you and I hope that you realize that it is no reflection on you. (unless you acted crazy when the teacher made the recommendation).

I suggest you go through with the testing... it won't cost you anything and FYI if they can't provide all of the services your child needs they have to pay for them somewhere else.

Best wishes.

Oh and as another side note: it is very fashionable in the rich neighborhoods for the parents to try and get their child labeled special ed so that the kids can be allowed extra time on tests.

Answer 4

I have a 4 year old daugther and she just went to pre school and she is doing a good work. Now my sister is having the same problem has you are but he is in 1 grade, and the teacher is telling her to put him in a special ed class. She dosen't want to cause she said that he is doing really good when he is at home. Plus boys intend to learn slower then girls do. So I think that your son is doing all right. Just hang in there and don't let that teacher put you down. Pick teaching him the thinks and he will get there, it just takes time.

Answer 5

Has he had testing done to diagnose him with a type of learning disorder? It may be an attention problem. If he has not been tested or diagnosed with a specific problem, I would wait. Talk to his teacher about ways to help him catch up with the class. Use computer games to help him learn (Reader Rabbit, Jump Start, etc.). kids who have attention problems learn quicker with the bright colors of the computer or TV screen. There are Elmo letter and number games for the Nintendo and Play Station game systems too. I wouldn't put him in Special Education because of pressure from his teacher. That can often constitute failure and damage a child's self-esteem. Try to achieve success where he's at. Take the necessary steps to find out if there's a problem and go from there.

Answer 6

i think your right teachers expect the parents to do most of the teaching now a days. If your child wasnt appeared slow to you throw the years i wouldnt worry about it, some child learn at a slower rate. Id ask for testing to be done, if hes alittle behind id see about getting him some extra help after school to catch him up. when my kids started school kindergarden was to teach them their abc's counting etc now the expect them to know this before they get to school. This is lazy in my opinion. I wouldnt label my child without prove somethings wrong, he needs to be tested before anyone can say he needs a special class. If hes tested and needs help then put him in the class that will help him throw life the best, but until then demand testing before opinions.

Answer 7

We need more information. How many letters does he know by sight? Does he know his letter sounds? Can he write letters...both uppercase and lowercase? How high can he count? What is the longest story he will listen to you read to him? Does he speak clearly? Can you carry on a conversation with him or does he just repeat things you say or that he's heard on TV? Is he sensitive to loud noises and/or lots of commotion? Is he able to sit in a group of children and participate in activities directed by the teacher (listen to instructions) Is he good at patterns (circle, square, circle, square...what comes next?) Is he able to use scissors and glue. How well does he stay in the lines while coloring? Can he complete a coloring page? Can he write his name? Does he know his address and phone number? Is he able to stand on one leg and jump up and down? These answers would really help us size up your son better! You should also discuss all the results from the above questions with his teacher. If you feel he's doing well and is up to par with the rest of the children, then tell her your side and please listen to what she has to say as well. My husband had a 4.0 in high school, but was held back in Kindergarten because his birthday is Nov 1st. Maybe your son doesn't need special ed, maybe he'll just need to repeat Kindergarten. Hope that helps!

Answer 8

Work at home with the child. Teach them numbers, letters, printing, coloring.

See how they pay attention and comprehend.

Teachers are trained to look for symptons and signs, but to be frank many medical doctors misdiagonise ADD and other problems. It's too easy to fit them into a mold and then prescribe a drug.

You have to be objective!

How does the child respond.

Do they look you in the eye. Do they repeat what you say. Can they make a distinction.

Red
Blue
Green

Do they make associations.

If they do this readily there is probably no problem.

Answer 9

You know what it's just the teacher who should be in special ED.From experince teachers are stupid somtimes they don't even grade good they tell the students to check for them .Man don't put him in special ED, you want people to know that your son is in kindergarden .Watch you walk down the street and know you and your son and say Oh that's the boy who's in kindergarden in the special ED class ha ha ha.NO,not Funny

Answer 10

Does he have a need for special ed? What is he diagnosed with? Maybe he needs it but maybe he doesnt. how do you feel about it. Maybe there ismedicine he take to help him before he is moved to a special class. If it is add or adhd or something like that then no unless it is really bad and medicine dont work talk to your childs doctor first before making any big desision.