3 year old daughter--not listening to dad?

Question

Me and my husband have 3 children (2 girls and a boy). We've worked out schedules at the hospital so 3 days a week I'm there in the mornings, and my husband is there 2 other days with them. (we have sundays off) So anyways, my husband has been really stressed these last few weeks as our oldest, Hollace who is 3, hasn't been listening to him. She'll ignore him when he tries to get her to get ready, she won't eat breakfast and she won't get in the car when he takes the kids to preschool. She's perfect when I'm around, though. What should I do?

Answer 1

Set up some type of reward system for her for good behavior-- you could get oh 5 silk roses, one for each day of the week. Tell her if she fills her vase by saturday she gets to pick something from a list (predetermined by you and dad)of fun things to do or maybe she gets to go to the park with you and bring a friend, etc. Get creative... Oh, and to earn that flower she will HAVE to do everything mommy and daddy says, NO exceptions, or she won't learn that she needs to earn her special time...

Answer 2

you shouldn't do anything except give your husband advice and support in dealing with his daughter

this is apparently a problem with their relationship that needs to be worked out

a parent can and should use their authority and control of resources to require a young child to be obedient

some parents use spanking, some have a time out, some offer reward

if your oldest is three, you are probably in for many years of being tested at many junctures

children will push to see what they can get away with
they will look for boundries
parents must provide them

your husband must not permit a three year old to ignore him
you cannot step in except to remind your child to be obedient when you are gone, because the challenge is to your husband's authority, not yours

the two of you need to decide what inducements your family will employ

and your husband should employ them

in our family we found that tiny spankings with the hand on the bottom of a three year old worked well if voice didn't work

when ours got to be older than 5 or so, we felt spanking was no longer the best kind of inducement

spankings, if used, should hurt a little but not harm, they should be rare, and they should be administered without anger

Answer 3

3 Year Old Not Listening

Answer 4

Maybe he has done something to upset her and doesn't even realize it. Why not have him take her out for the day, just the two of them, a father-daughter day to spend some quality time. And while they are out, he can try to get to the bottom of it and ask why she is mad at daddy? Perhaps, when he is home he pays more attention to the other children and doesn't even realize it - she may be upset about that and this is her way of getting back at him. It could be anything - what may seem small to an adult could be a big deal to her.

Answer 5

This kind of thing happens in my family. My husband is the nice guy letting her get away with some of the minimal behaviors that I won't tolerate. When he's not disciplining for the things you do - she quickly realized that this is a situation she can take advantage of and she is. I would recommend that you both get on the same page. Get Dr. Phelan's book 1,2 3, Magic and you'll get some awesome ideas. If you follow their method as outlined - it really does work!

Answer 6

most likely it's because she feels that if she listens to her dad, he'll leave her alone, therefore taking away precious "quality" time away from her.
tell you husband to leave a sunday evening free from any plans.
have him take her to the park, maybe bowling, or even to your backyard (if you have one)
you could even have him read her a nighttime story, and to stay with her until hse falls asleep.
chances are, they'll be able to bond more by doing little things like that.
the way i see it, they need a bit more time together.
if she STILL doesn't listen, have her dad, bend down on his knees and tell her sternly if she does not listen, she'll have to say, sit on a chair facing the wall for 8 minutes.
reward her for listening to him, and i don't mean physical objects.
give her hugs, kisses, any thing that makes her feel that she's done a good thing.
and NEVER, ever tell her that she's a bad kid.
good luck!
:)

Answer 7

Relax first take a deep breathe and remember that is part of the development period, I suggest you take a look at the life span of development in psychology again and you might be surprised to find it's all good, there are no easy solutions, we all went through it and in fact put our parents through it, sometimes a good hug, and some down time is all any of us need, make it a necessity, a solid family day, when I was growing up we had daddy daughter day, I will always remember the box of animal crackers and holding his big hand in mine, good luck and big hugs

Answer 8

she is definatly fighting for his attention and she is 3 so this is they only way she knows how to get it. Maybe he needs to make a special thing that just the 2 of them do like a daddy/daughter date (or playdate at the park) or spend an hour with her doing whatever she wants to do but just the 2 of them it should strengthen the bond that is what I did when my daughter started acting out toward me I take her to a gymnastic class one a week just her and I and she loves the attention

Answer 9

my three year olds know me better than a shrink... They tend to push one parent to see their own and that parents boundries. ( terrible threes) I would have him do what supernannie does... Give a warning or tow and then put the kid in the naughty spot. I had to do this with my 2 1/2 year ols/// It changed my girl so much .... It was the first time .. and it made such an impression .... You have to stick with it ... I havent had to do it again. Everytime you catch an infraction ... ( what kills you the most ) and call them on it ... be consistant and follow through. But they are pushing you to show them the boundry.

Answer 10

Ring Dr. Phil