my parents live with me & my family. reason! well my dad suffered a heart attack last year so he needs care my mom has a brain tumor so shes sick. I have sisters that have there home but aslo have there family. my relationship is not going so well because we dont have any privacy due to our parents living with us! my husband fights with me all the time because of them. but I tell him that if he doesnt like it then leave. is that wrong of me? Im just trying to help my parents they have no one else to turn to but me!
2006-09-26 10:45:22 · 17 answers · asked by PRI 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
no matter what anybody says...you are what you are right now because of your parents...if your husband is not ready to help your parents then that is wrong...they always say that a kid can leave their parents hanging but parents cant leave their kids hanging no matter how bad they are...now is your chance to prove them wrong...just remember what your parents did for you...what pain they went through so that u dont suffer any pain...they might have remained hungry so that you can eat...they will sleep on wet so that you can get dry place to sleep...honey you should be proud of youself...and dont think that your sisters r not taking their care why should you...it is their duty but hey if not thats fine...u understand your duty, and moreover you should help ur parents out of love rather than the feeling of duty...i am saying this with all my heart...i am proud of you!!!
2006-09-26 10:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever listened to Dr. Laura on the radio. She gets these kinds of questions all the time and I think her answers are good on this issue. She would tell you that your husband and your kids if you have any need to come first. They are your family now. She would also say that you should do what you can for your parents but not at the expense of your own family. This means that you need to find your parents a good place to live near you. This could be a nursing home, a retired living village or an apartment where you have a nurse come in. You should have a meeting with your sisters and everyone should chip in financially to take care of your parents. Your parents social security and medicare should help too. If you feel that the only way they can be taken care of because of financial problems is to have them in your home, then you need to ask your sisters to "babysit" them sometimes so you and your husband can have time alone. It is important for your sister's kids to have time with their grandparents anyway. You can also take your parents to an adult daycare sometime so that you can have a break, and it is also good for your parents to be able to spend time with other people their age.
If you take on too much, you wil have a breakdown and then who is going to take care of you? Not your husband if you drive him away!
Good luck and bless you for caring so much about your parents.
2006-09-26 10:56:10 · answer #2 · answered by runningviolin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father has suffered alot of heart attacks and still gets on with everyday life. Try getting your parents to move somewhere close to you that way they have you both in case of anything yet they also could have their privacy. . . . or try finding a place with a guest house. Then everyone has their own little space. You and your husband need to sit down and talk about everything and what is really bothering him about the situation. This is all I can say and hope things work out for the best.
2006-09-26 10:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by SocalSocialButterfly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first allegiance is to your spouse but, of course your parents need you too. Sounds like your needs aren't getting met very well so neither your husband nor your parents are getting the best of you.
1. Assure your husband that you love him and that he's ultimately your most important relationship. Then tell him you need his support during this time of your parent's needs.
2. Talk to your sisters about what they can do to help so you and your husband can have regular breaks for each other.
You need help. You can't do this alone!
2006-09-26 10:58:46 · answer #4 · answered by Turpin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not wrong of you......however it's not "wrong" of your husband to be upset about the situation. =T there is no right or wrong; what there Needs to be, however, is Communication and Compromise. first of all, you need to talk everything out w/ ur husband. remember, although u are doing a wonderful and selfless job in taking care of family, u have to understand that he is being put in a difficult situation. so my first advice to you, is to try to Validate your husband's feelings. don't ignore your feelings, but first address that you understand and can sympathize with him for being put into a difficult situation. next, ask him what HE wants, and what HE needs you to do, and what you Both can do together to work on the current situation.
also, figure out what you want from yourself, and what u want from your husband. discuss all of these things, and figure out, Together, how u can grow your relationship, your marriage, as well as deal with the situations at hand. together, for the best of the family. u are right in the end, if he is fed up, he must leave unless u ditch ur family, which i think u won't. but u can give him a chance, and give him as much hope and trust and opportunity to step it up and Help you, Together. good luck, and don't give up until u've tried Everything to help the situation and communicate with him.
2006-09-26 10:51:49 · answer #5 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a sweet girl. Talk to your husband. Tell him you really need him to help out. Your doing the right thing, I would respect you a lot more for doing this. That guy should know what an honer it is to have you as his wife. Dont worry, It will all end up for the better.
2006-09-26 10:49:25 · answer #6 · answered by skull loner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry for all you are going thru i can see both sides you want to be there for your mom and dad. they were there for you when you were growing up. sit down with your husband tell him you love him and then i would call your sisters and tell the you need help your parents were there for them to you need a break to so you and your husband can be together, i do not know what there money situation is maybe you might want to look at skilled care. just rember is you are doing the best you can and be proud of your self for stepping up to the plate, and if and when they go up to heaven you can hold your head high you wre there for them and if your husband reads this i will tell him i know it is hard for the both of you but your wife is in a tuff spot she loves you and does not want to lose you but she is watching her mom and dad dieing she has got triple stress put your self in her shoes gool luck
2006-09-26 11:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by dave m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Pretty;
Good for you. Wow, so much stress. It is very common for how you feel. You, need to have your sisters come over and watch the folks and make it date nights for you and your husband! Demand that they do this. This is stressful for your husband too. illness is very hard to deal with, on both ends. My heart goes out to you and your husband....good luck. Try and make time for you and husband. If, nothing else works talk to a counselor.
2006-09-26 10:50:21 · answer #8 · answered by Dimples 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
relies upon on the area of no count if i want something ro no longer and quit attempting to fool your self i went on your profile and sorry hun yet you're actually not relationship Nick Jonas in case you seruiously think of then you definately you definately could look for psychological help imediatly Nick is unmarried purely like his brothers. you ladies are to overly prepared concerning to the Jo' Bro's and that's sickening. Seriosuly get a life no person believes you with the aid of fact in case you bypass to anohter ladies profile she would be asserting how she is relationship Nick too. Seriosuly quit being so dummb leap off a cliff or somethign of course you would be gruesome and fat and stupid in case you may make up immaginary boyfriends, with the aid of fact no person else will date you. get a life no even better end yours =]]
2016-10-18 00:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a fine line there, and I really dont know what to tell you... my parents are old but live in another state... but, I am of the belief that my husband is number one... sorry, but that is what my own mother taught me and i firmly believe... kids grow up and leave and parents, yes, they are our loved ones, but we leave their home to follow our life mates.... a tuff choice I know... but instead of telling ur husband to leave why dont you sit down and ask him what he has on his mind as far as solutions go.... there are ways to have privacy.... like date nights and day trips to special places.... you can ask a neighbor or friend to watch after parents, check in on them from time to time, or ask your siblings to take them for a week every now and again... ask hubbys input on all this... make him feel he is still your number one thought and love..... to be honest I can see his point in all this.... there is no right or wrong, only compromises.... make it work..... God bless
2006-09-26 10:59:21 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋