I have a really big problem that I have been struggling to deal with some time now and I have know idea what else to do about it. I have 2 children now and my mom is a really bad alcholic. I told her when my first was born and my second that she isn't allowed to be around the my kids unless she is sober. She has come around once since my first was born and he will be 2 next month. She went to far when i was pregnant with my first I was in the process of moving out of her house because i was tired of the drinking and fighting and she beat me didn't do any harm to the baby but to me she did. She was charged with common assault and she still continues to drink. I am not asking on how I can get my mom to stop drinking but any suggestions on how to deal with it because i would really like my kids to have their grandmother in their life.
2006-09-26 10:22:07 · 20 answers · asked by Robyn D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is not an uncommon problem - but first I would suggest that you seek support in an Alanon or Adult Children of Alcoholics group! The members and the facilitator will be a great resource and comfort to you!
The second bit of advice, is to set boundries and stick too them no matter how painful it seems, the ulternative of your kids having to deal with alcoholic behaviour is not a good solution. Your mother will seek help for her sickness - if and when she decides she is at rock bottom, when she has alienated all except her drinking buds. It is at that time - she will need your support again - but not now when she is in the midst of her illusion.
Good Luck - stick to you guns and with gods help she may turn-around.
2006-09-26 10:27:23 · answer #1 · answered by maazungo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a thing called "Tough Love" I learned about it in a branch of Al-Anon called "Adult Children of Alcoholics" She's got to hit rock bottom before she's going to get help. You can help her by showing her a little tough love and not letting her be around you or your children. That might help get her to the point where she will get help. Look on the Internet for an Al-Anon or Adult Children's meeting in your area...AND GO. You will meet some really neat people who have been there/ done that. You will come out of there with life long friends and support. Good Luck.
2006-09-26 10:38:11 · answer #2 · answered by mslorikoch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get your mom some help. Family intervention is good. And if she is not willing, then you will just have to deal with her alcoholism the best you can and let your kids write her or call her.
And when she is sober, go over there.
2006-09-26 10:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by lucy p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until and unless she stops drinking and seeks help, you CANNOT allow her to be near you or your children. Alchohol addiction is like any other drug addiction. The addict is NOT the person you think you know. Your children do not and will not have a grandmother until she stops being an addict and starts taking control.
2006-09-26 10:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try the Al-Anon for family, they have a lot of coping strategies and maybe if your Mom knows you are going... she'll start to see what's going on around here. Either way, you'll have a support system to help you deal with this.
2006-09-26 10:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, I think tough love is you're only choice. She beat you when you were pregnant? she's unstable and shouldn't be around your children. They deserve to have a grandma, yes, but what if she hurts them? or herself while caring for them? maybe if you leave and take them with her, she'll realize she's alienated two generations of people. It might be too late, she wont stop drinking until she wants to or is forced into rehab so you may just have to learn to raise them grandma-free if not just for the time being.
2006-09-26 10:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by Slutlana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand that you want your mother sober while around your children. you can't change her though. maybe it's best to wait a few years before trying to make you mom be a grandmother to the kids. there's always a chance that when she relizes what she's missing, she'll straighten up her act.
2006-09-26 10:29:12 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Berry Picker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have any skills in problems like yours but I kind of consider the people on here as an extended family. I feel terrible for you and your children and hope your entire family can somehow find love.
2006-09-26 10:27:52 · answer #8 · answered by Casinomule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch hon sounds hard on you. perhaps check your local listings for support groups for co-dependency issues. Breaking away from a bad situation can be hard but talking to people who have done it and are doing it might help you out.
I wish you all the best.
2006-09-26 10:26:15 · answer #9 · answered by Varacha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the type you clarify it, she is a real undertaking. you may could call the police if she starts any hassle and then from there you will get a restraining order. yet i'm going to choose for you that she will purely behave herself and not something like that has to take place. sturdy success
2016-10-18 00:48:40 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋