what should my response be to people who are surprised by my age?

Question

I'm 24 years old but I look younger. I'm working at a clothing store until I graduate from college in a few months. I'm married so of course I have a ring and cutomers are always saying "your married?" How Ooold are you??" It gets really annoying becasue this happens all the time and I just smile and say "I'm 24". They always respond "I never would have guessed, I thought you were about 17". This was fine the first few times but now its getting annoying. I'll be graduating in a few months and entering into the professional world and I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously because of how young I look. My husband and I want to start a family in about 2 years and I really don't want people to look down on me thinking I'm a teenage mom...and one of my bosses said that when I first started she thought I was lying about my age and looked up my file to see if I was

My question is, how should I handle it when people ask my age? It makes me feel like a child. Am I just overreacting about it?

Answer 1

I'm actually the same age as you and I get similar comments. I did my student teaching in a high school and I was stopped by security so many times for being a student just wandering the halls that I lost count. (Of course, I was a lot more dressed up than most students, but whatever.)

I take it as a compliment, but it does become annoying, like you said. I just smile politely or joke that when I'm older, at least I'll still look young.

When you enter the professional world, I recommend that you actually overdress a little. Wear blazers and pant suits and wear classic colors and styles. Stay away from the short suit jackets and bold colors. Keep your hair in a sophisticated style. I wear glasses or contacts, and my one mentor teacher told me to wear my glasses because they made me look a little older. (I know some people won't like that, but if I want to be taken seriously, I wear my glasses.)

Part of what makes people think I am younger is my demeanor. I am very easy going and have a good sense of humor, so I'm usually in a good mood (ok, I'm perky). I'm not saying to be serious, but its not only looks that sometimes make people think you are younger. Just make a great first impression in your interviews and don't worry about how old you look. Good luck!

Answer 2

Wow, this could have been written by me it sounds so similar! I've been dealing with this since I was a teenager. I'm now 28, married with 2 kids. When I was pregnant with my 1st I got all the old ladies giving me the "oh another teenage pregnancy" look. So I was looking forward to my second pregnancy thinking I wouldn't have to deal with it. Same thing happened with the 2nd. I've been rejected for promotions because they said the other workers would not respect someone younger than them..even though I wasn't younger, just looked it.
I understand it is very annoying. My experience has been that there is no real way around other people making assumptions. Self confidence however is very noticable and can make you look more your age. What I now do is when people say "how old are you" (which surprisingly they do a lot) is I answer them politely and honestly and then I say "and how old are you?" At least they realize after how rude they are being.
Good luck and remember it could be worse, you could look twice your age!

Answer 3

This is not really a problem is it? I have always looked younger than my age and the only time it bothered me was not being believed when I went into a pub. Enjoy it and don't react. I do not understand why it pisses you off unless people are being a tad patronising towards you ( this may well happen anyway) thinking you are a mere slip of a girl @ 24. You will be taken seriously when you go for professional jobs as your CV should be the reason you get invited for interview NOT YOUR APPEARANCE. Anyway when you are older you will enjoy looking a wee bit younger than your real age. I know that I do.

Answer 4

You're telling my story. I'm 30 but I look more like 22 or 23, especially if I'm having a casual day in jeans and a t-shirt with no makeup. It does get to be terribly annoying, especially when you are in a position of authority.

The etiquette experts suggest "Why do you want to know?" as a response, but I just can't see how that would work out in real life. You can answer them honestly and when they get all surprised and whatnot you can smile and say "Imagine how great I'll look at 40!" which should shut some of them up. Or you could say something sassy like "old enough to drink and young enough to enjoy it!"

It amazes me how tacky people can be. Is your age or marital status really any of a customer's business? (Now I'm getting huffy about it, too!)

Answer 5

Just smile and say you are older than you look, and you hope it stays that way for many years!

Don't worry about the age you look. People are just trying to make conversation, and they think they're giving you a compliment as most women are (strangely enough) glad to hear they look younger.

Just take it with a grain of salt, it's their problem- not yours. I get that a lot too. People are usually really surprised when I tell them I am 33. I have a 10 yr old daughter so several have thought I was a teen mother. I just laugh.

Answer 6

For people who look young it can be a problem for most of their lives because even if someone starts to get a few streaks of gray hair or a couple of fine lines people don't seem to notice them on the person who comes across as youthful.

On the one hand, you can't worry about what people think if you have children. Forget that worry because there's no winning on that one. People who are inclined to have opinions will form opinions on whatever they can come up with, and they may even imagine you're something and then judge you on what they imagined!!! So, again, there's no winning on worrying about what others think.

Sometimes a person may not even really look all that young, but people are stupid. They don't think it out. They don't think out that someone 17 has a different kind of look than someone 24. All they see is a young-looking face or even just a petite frame and assume its means someone is young.

For now let them ask. Let them be surprised. Say nothing more. That's all you can do.

Unless you age a whole bunch suddenly (and you don't really want that to happen) this will probably be an issue for most of your life. People tend not to take someone who is young or small or otherwise feminine very seriously. It is less of a problem once you have a chance to work and prove yourself at work, but in personal situations it may always be a problem. It is the secret bigotry that only people who look younger than they are know exists.

The alternative, though, is looking old - and nobody wants that. You just have to remember that when you're dealing with the ignorance that can go on day after day, year after year, in ways that nobody else could ever imagine.

Just last Sunday on 60 Minutes the Secretary of State was talking about the times when Black people were seen as "childlike", and she was saying how rotten that is for people to have to live with. No adult wants to be seen as a child, talked to as a child, or even admired for being so intelligent or capable in spite of being a child!!

You're not over-reacting. You ought to live a couple of more decades having to deal with. You may not always look 17, but when you're 40 you could look 29 - and people will still believe that you're too young to have opinions or wisdom that you know you have. It can seem like you have to fight for the right to have an opinion or to make a comment because others think you want to be seen in a way you don't deserve or taken seriously when you shouldn't be. The rest of the world gets to grow up and take for granted that others will take them seriously, but people who look too youthful have to fight to be taken seriously - and then someone just wonders why they have an attitude!!

The good side is you may age in a way that gives you a "fight" that will serve you well all through your life. Of course, you'll run the risk of being seen as "paranoid" when you have an attitude that nobody else can see legitimate reason for.

Just lower yourself to the mentality of the culture and try to be happy that you get to keep your youth a while longer. Its funny how our culture pretends to value youth but doesn't take what a youthful person says seriously. Its also funny how people are too stupid to realize that a wedding band probably means someone isn't 17.

Answer 7

in simple terms say thank you and smile, that's what I do whilst human beings mistake me for being youthful. some days i seem my age yet numerous the time i seem youthful. On a reliable day human beings think of i'm 18 or 20! on an identical time as you would be able to look 14 i'm effective your voice sounds each and every little bit of 24, use your voice as your authority. i think of you have replace into delicate to it simply by fact it occurs plenty. style of like the tall guy continuously having somebody remark on how tall they're, it gets stressful after a on an identical time as. next time you tell somebody you're in medical college, say it with authority, your awareness will show by even in the adventure that your age would not.

Answer 8

I'm 25 and still get carded for alcohol. Not only that but they look at my license 2-3 times before ringing me up. It's the ultimate compliment and that's the way you should take it. Think about how flattered you'll feel in 16 yrs. when people are saying how young you look.

Answer 9

I think you're overreacting a little. I'm 29, yet people always assume I am way younger, I even get carded at the liquor store. Just take it as a compliment. I know plenty of people who wish they looked younger instead of older. I don't get annoyed, I just smile and hope I continue looking younger than my age and not older than I am.

Answer 10

Just act your age and stage, and be flattered that people think you are younger. I was in the same situation and still am. People used to tell my husband how lucky he was to have such a young wife! Now that I'm older, people still think I am younger - and that's a good thing, even though the age number doesn't bother me at all.