A close member of my husband's family passed away very unexpectedly. He was in his early thirties and a really great person. We don't even know the cause of death yet. I've had a couple of people say some really odd things to me and made me very uncomfortable and even annoyed. I'm usually very tolerant of weird remarks and I don't get offended easily but this death has upset me alot.
2006-09-26 10:07:46 · 19 answers · asked by Susan G 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
When someone dies unexpectedly people try to be helpful but just don't quite make it. Be gracious when they are coming back at you with cliches that are inappropriate. Thank them but don't be drawn into talking about it if you don't want to. Many people will not be sure what your reaction will be so they just get it wrong. Be prepared for people to even pass by on the other side of the street when they don't know how to express themselves. It's their problem, you have enough to deal with. I find mentally yelling "shut up" very helpful!!
May your god go with you.
2006-09-26 10:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by Dancemomma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I initially thought I could relate, but it sounds like the comments you're getting are more off the wall than what I was thinking about!
I don't know; what I did was to just smile and nod. The people meant well, even if I though they were loony tunes.
I think if you're getting these comments from someone once, you could just let it go. But if they're making repeated statements, for your own peace of mind you might want to formulate some kind of rebuttal.
Without know what they're saying, I can't really formulate one. Keep it respectful but firm so you don't feel bad about it later.
2006-09-26 10:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no one i'm close to to (really no one which is eco-friendly), acquaintances or relatives, has ever gotten a dogs without consulting me or a minimum of having my opinion on it. or perhaps after that, I often get a telephone call with any and all questions they'd have with regard to the dogs. in reality, i'm practically functional I have in my view lengthy previous on a visit to fulfill the breeder with each pal (Aunts, Uncles, and so on) who's ever offered a dogs from a breeder earlier they even heavily considered procuring. My dogs and their habit fairly nicely talk for me and they understand i understand what i'm speaking about. I easily can not say no matter if i'd talk up. I had one case the position I made it clean that I easily require my dogs to go back at the same time as said as off leash. I defined why i take advantage of e-collars. at the same time as my Aunt and Uncle determined hostile to employing 1 and their dogs changed into hit through a motor vehicle and killed at the same time as he were given loose, i did not sense pushing the undertaking changed into an fairly suitable element to do. I did chew an Uncle out for letting his dogs take a seat in his lap at the same time as he changed into driving. Then I despatched him a video of crash tests with dogs "dummies". That habit ended genuine promptly.
2016-11-24 20:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by thweatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your going through a lot right now. You tolerance levels are down. Try and not pay any attention to people right now. Some people just say anything because they have nothing to say. Don't respond it's not worth your time or effort. Take this time for your grieving and just stay away from the people who can't just be their for you right now. I'm sorry for your loss. May god bless you and your family.
2006-09-26 16:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say "thank you" and walk away. Chalk it up to those people's own immaturity and insensitivity.
I went through a horrible family tragedy at the beginning of the year and I had hoped that a friend of mine would be able to lend some moral support. Unfortunately, she just made me feel worse by going on about how terrible the situation was and how it might never go away. But she didn't mean to hurt me, so I just thanked her for trying and went on grieving on my own.
My condolences; I just hope that you'll be able to feel better soon.
2006-09-26 10:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by chocolatemeringue_04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one close to me has die as yet, so maybe people like I say the wrong thing and it is not to hurt anyone. You are upset over this death and you want to take it out on someone. When young people dies suddenly people will have questions and that too is normal.
2006-09-26 12:10:08 · answer #6 · answered by Errolyn27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ! It really isn't necessary. Ask yourself if it would lessen your sorrow for the loss of someone special. Grieve first, take some time to remember your friend. If you must tell those persons off, then wait until you're not as sad. Remember this, all things that happen to you, affect you differently. Grieving is psychological, so is retribution. Grieve, retaliate. Never together, grieve, retaliate in that order !
2006-09-26 10:17:19 · answer #7 · answered by sory I offended 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Often, usually even, people say really odd things when someone dies..I don't think they have really thought about what they have said...usually they have the best intentions in mind..but sometimes who knows where their thoughts just came from. Ignore them...I'm sure they don't mean it.
2006-09-26 10:11:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You be nice, polite, thank them for their respect of the loved one and go on. It is so easy to be upset or rude to others when you loose a loved one but thats not the way to go. Feelings shouldn't be hurt during this mourning time.
2006-09-26 10:10:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean! After my father passed on (in my arms) my sister-in-law said to me: "Despite everything dad loved you!" The best is to smile and ignore! Sometimes people actually don´t mean it the way they say it! Grin and bear it!
2006-09-28 04:20:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jorge E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋