But my l2 yr. old wants us back together. In fact, we get along better divorced than married. But he tried to kiss me and it just felt so weird. We never were close and never were good friends. We married for all the wrong reasons. He has a temper and bipolar. He has roadrage. I left him for lack of intimacy and anything in common. What do I do? Please my child and get back with her Daddy. Please my ex and get back with him.? Please my family members and friends and try again? what? I am in love with someone else.
2006-09-26 10:07:23 · 23 answers · asked by lucy p 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am in a similar situation and I have a 12 year old son. I recently considered reconciling, but did a little math and decided not to.
My son turned 12 in July. I love him more than anything. Almost enough to sacrifice my happiness.
My son will want me in his life for about 2 more years. Then, he will begin to live his own life with friends, dating, and other things.
At 16 he will drive and I will hardly ever see him.
And, at 18 he will be off to college.
And me? I will be left in the same miserable condition I was in with my wife, but now empty nesting.
2006-09-26 10:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the question you need to ask yourself is do you love your ex? If you do, really love him and think that you can get him to cool his temper, deal with his roadrage and get meds for his bipolar, and get him to be more intimate with you, then it's worth a shot. If you answer no to any of these questions, then save yourself the heart ache, deal with the fact that it's over if you haven't done that already, explain to your child that you and her father aren't right for each other. You need to make YOU happen in this situation, not everyone else.
I hope I helped.
2006-09-26 17:13:37 · answer #2 · answered by irish_keg_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a news flash - it is much easier to get along with your ex when you are divorced!! Try spending several days together and see if things go so well with him.
I had to spend 2 days with my ex when my son graduated from basic training. I was ready to kill him by the end of the 2nd day. Things went well the first day and worse the 2nd.
I would never think twice about it. I would work on a new relationship and give it all my attention. There is no way I would go back to what I had to endure before my divorce.
2006-09-26 17:12:12 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get back with your ex. This is your life, and you need to be happy. Have a talk with your 12 year old and let her see that life is not always just so... she's old enough for you to be truthful with... you don't have to go into the intimacy issues with her. Your family should understand. Your ex does not matter except when he is in his rolse as the father of your child... you can give him consideration and respect for that but other than that I wouldn't give him a second thought.
2006-09-26 17:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by fullofsugaw 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From everything you say, you did the right thing in ending the relationship. You won't be doing your daughter any favors by passing up a loving relationship for a dysfunctional one.
Your relationship is about *you*. Not your friends, not your family... *you*. What they want, or don't want, shouldn't have any bearing on what's right for you.
You broke up with your ex for a reason. You're now with a new relationship with a guy you love. You'd be crazy to go back. Oh, by all means, stay on good terms with your ex... but stick with the guy that you love & that loves you. Even if your daughter doesn't realize it right now, it's much better for her to grow up in a healthy environment.
2006-09-26 17:14:15 · answer #5 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your life.
You only have one to live. Please do what your heart tells you.
As a my small bit of advice though, I'd like to tell you that it won't be worth it.
Everyone has some picture perfect image but are really unaware of the pain and lonliness that you must daily encounter in this relationship with your ex.
Explain to your daughter that being with her father hurts you, makes you cry.
You don't owe your family or friends any explanations.
You are doing what's best for you and at the end of the day that the most important thing.
Earlier in life, you made decisions that you felt were the best for you...why stop now??
2006-09-26 17:15:40 · answer #6 · answered by ilyena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's think for the child's sake, you better leave your ex as your ex. Your daughter will grow up to see what a healthy relationship should be like. You going back with ur ex is not going to show her the healthy side of relationships. You've moved on, conitnue doing that. No one wants to relive their mistakes or bad pasts, why should u? Hope everyhting works out.
2006-09-26 17:15:19 · answer #7 · answered by ladida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't live your life pleasing other people, even your own child. If you went back with your ex your would be miserable and no ones life would be any better for it. Your the parent and the adult so live your life for you and be happy. Even your child will have to admit in the end that he would rather you were happy than miserable all the time.
2006-09-26 17:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 12 year old will adjust to the new marriage in time. You do NOT get back into a failed marriage for a child. It's NEVER the right thing to do. You have a new, better life now and you need to give it your complete attention and devotion. Your ex will have to make his own life.
2006-09-26 17:10:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but to me that's no reason to get back with him. He's acting like this because he doesn't have you right now. I'm sure his bipolar is still there, so you need to remember this because in the long run it would be worse on all of you and it would just break your child heart all over again.
2006-09-26 17:11:03 · answer #10 · answered by accvining 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋