My mother-in-law is not the greatest mother. (see my other questions)
My wife (23 years old) cut her mother off for 6 months and spent that time in counseling. She did this when her mother found out we wanted to have a baby and said mean things to my wife.
The therapist said her mother was abusive and my wife was shocked to think she had been abused.
My mother-in-law has said the following:
Called my wife a *****, ungrateful, a snob, a miss-know-it-all *****.
She said my wife didn't deserve to have a mother who gave her so much.
She said my wife is spoiled and maybe she should have been beat up everyday and then she would appreciate her homelife.
She has told my wife that she is mentally ill and needs to be on medication daily.
She told my wife that she is a crap daughter.
She said she will be a bad mother and her children will be messed up.
She told her she regrets doing all the things she did for her.
Is this verbal abuse????
2006-09-26 09:37:51 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yeah... ya think!
Unless your wife really is all of those things and you would know being her husband!
2006-09-26 09:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is well and beyond verbal abuse. Yes your wife has been abused by her mother. The therapist is right. I hope your wife believes you and the therapist.
The mother sounds mentally ill and vindictive. I would be very careful. You may need to get legal help to keep her away from any children you may have.
2006-09-26 10:05:25 · answer #2 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah it's verbal abuse! I'd stay away from her for awhile or tell her to shut up when she starts saying stuff like that. Your wife doesn't need to be hearing all that negative crap, your adults move far away if need be. But remember eventually she's gonna die so no worries then right?
2006-09-26 10:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Verbal abuse is language that is used against another person to belittle, degrade, intimidate, discourage, and hurt them.
The language you have described is not used by parents who love their children. This language is hurtful and causes the child (young or adult) to question their existence, question the ability to be loved by anyone, and question whether they are less of a person than other "normal" people.
This language is called abusive because it causes serious, long-term, and dangerous self esteem issues with the children (young or old) who experience it.
We can't choose our parents and some of us are not as lucky in the draw as others. But when we are adults we can make decisions to stop letting abuse happen to us from any person and realize that we are worthy of being loved without exception.
Your wife does not realize she has been abused because this behavior has happened to her since birth. She does not realize that this is not normal. As her husband you can help her to understand that love should be unconditional and that relationships of every kind should be mutually respectful and kind.
2006-09-26 10:46:58 · answer #4 · answered by r_k_winters 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God yes my mom did the same to me and continues to s and I am in my 40's. I have had therapy before but I had never discussed my relationship with her. Finally I told it all recently in therapy and low and behold I am on the road to recovery. Tell your wife that i know it is hard to totally cut your mom out of your life but definitely cut back your time with her and for God sake don't wast 20 years of life doing what i did. I tried to please that mean ole hateful woman and she was never satisfied. She interfered in all of relationships, with friends family members, my husband and my boyfriends. She has destroyed every relationship that I allowed her to be involved in. Guess what your wife and I don't need therapy our mothers do. They have serious issues that need to be addressed.
2006-09-26 09:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by Jazz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may %. up your toddlers and get the hell out of this female's dwelling house. in case you have a relative you are able to stay with, bypass there now. If not, bypass to a look after the place they're going to locate you a residing concern. This woman is insane and your toddlers should not be round her!
2016-10-01 09:42:35 · answer #6 · answered by bungay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that is very much abusive. I cut my mother off 7 years ago because of it. I still love her because she is my mother but I don't need that kind of negativity in my life. Also, my mother is a drinker and her husband drinks excessively who also contributes her behavior towards me.
2006-09-26 10:45:03 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she totally is!!! And if i was you two, i would not allow her to be around your children, when you have them, she is bitter and bitterness poisens the people around you, which she is doing, ask you wife if she was happy without her mother for that 6mnths?? if yes, then keep her away, good luck and all the best for you and your wife
2006-09-26 10:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by shaznz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes - verbally abusive, sounds like my mom. But if you're talking verbally abusive for court or police purposes, you're going to need proof.
2006-09-26 10:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is.
Stay away from her. No one needs that negativity in their life.
2006-09-26 09:43:03 · answer #10 · answered by jt 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋