We have a few details like cake, flowers, etc... and he does not "have the energy" or all I ever talk about is the wedding... But i need to! he never wanted to talk about it before- and now we are down to two weeks! he put it off- and now we have to make decisions and he still wont talk about it, he wants to just be married- he does not give a damn about a ceremony...
kinda a hippy (lately)
anyway, should I just do it myself? should I even try to include him anymore?
2006-09-26 09:26:48 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How do you know he wants to be married? He doesn't sound like he does if he can't be bothered to think about it. At the least he should show some interest for your sake since you care so much about it - that is not a good sign for the future.
2006-09-26 09:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by Rich Z 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Allow me a sexist moment - he's a MAN. Most men don't care that much about the trappings of the ceremony.
Tell him very calmly that if he wants a say in these last minute decisions, then he needs to speak up. Otherwise, you will make the decisions on your own. If he says "I told you already, I really don't care," then let him know that you are fine with that and that you will take care of it. After that, he has NO grounds to complain.
(And keep loving him! The last couple weeks before a wedding are the hardest for everyone involved. The wedding is only for a day - your marriage is forever.)
2006-09-26 09:30:49 · answer #2 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your situation I would ask myself a couple of questions.
1. Does he want to get married, but just does not want to be bothered with all the minute details?
2. Does he really not want to get married at all and this is his way of telling me?
If he really does want to marry you but just does not want to be included in all the decisions and fuss, then go ahead and do it without him - that is typically male anyway. Have your girl-friends help you with the decisions.
On the other hand if you think he does not really want to get married and this is his way of showing it, then postpone the wedding for a while.
One of the key ingredients necessary for a good marriage is the ability to communicate well, keep that in mind when you are trying to decide what to do.
A cancelled wedding is not the end of the world, however a bad marriage can be HELL!
2006-09-27 03:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, congratulations.
Second, is he afraid? Just ask. Seriously.
Ask him why he is avoiding this stuff. This is supposed to bea super-fun (yes that is a phrase) experience and he is being a downer.
Does he not want to be married? Better to find out now.
Does he care? If not then pick out your own cake and if he does not like it tough cookies (actually tough cake...)
There were some things I took care of and some things my wife did. I don't think I saw the flowers or cake before the wedding. She did a great job.
But get an answer. I would
2006-09-26 09:41:09 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey- men are not interested in the planning of a wedding! My fiancee has told me to let him know where it will be, what time he has to be there and what to wear. Otherwise he could care less. Now that doesnt mean he doesnt want to be married- but rather he trusts your choices and knows you will do the right thing. dont get stressed out though. I have enlisted the help of two good friends and my big sister. They are coming to the cake tastings, and the hall selections- they are the help i need... lol
I say dont press the issue. if he has an opnion about something he will let you know- otherwise go with your choices and make the day special to you!
2006-09-26 09:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi its not that he doesnt give a damn its just the way men are with weddings. Im getting married next year and my hubby to be is the same. But dont take it to heart to much. Get your mum to help out they are great at weddings and planning my mum is gem i couldnt do it without her,you should of really done everything in the first year. But anyways if you want something doing do it yourself. It will all be fine.
2006-09-26 10:21:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do it yourself. Most men don't care at all about details of anything, let alone frilly girly details like weddings. If the cake tastes good, he doesn't care if it has scallops or swags on the design. As long as he isn't allergic to the flowers, he doesn't care if they're roses or orchids.
Here's what I did. I made all the decisions, and right before finalizing them, I said to him "These are the flowers. Ok?" If he truly cared, he'd speak up. It worked well.
2006-09-26 09:45:47 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you troubling yourself with all that frustration. I know you want to include him in the planning because you either want feedback or want to make him feel more a part of it, but heck, let it go. You have a free hand. Have confidence in yourself and your choices and everything will turn out great. Let him sleep and you make your wedding the way you really want it. I'm sure he'll love your choices in the end. BTW I didn't see anything in there about video for your wedding?
2006-09-26 17:45:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men tend to leave all the details of planning a ceremony up to the woman and the women of the two families. I know you want his input but if he doesnt want to give it to you, maybe you can ask some of his male firends to ask him and let you know. If that doesnt work, she do what you want to do. After all most weddings are all about the bride anyways. She is the main focal point of the day.
Some men just dont understand about all the hoop and holler about planning a big day. They just want to sign the damn legal papers and get it over with.
Do what you need to do to make sure everything gets done, and just make sure he knows what time to show up and please make sure he wears the right clothes.
2006-09-26 09:32:01 · answer #9 · answered by Shalamar Rue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie breathe. Most guys are like that. Heck I planned my entire wedding myself. I showed him stuff and kept him semi-updated but I stopped asking about every little thing. Guys just aren't into that. It is said that the wedding belongs to the bride and the honeymoon to the groom.
And I think you are totally overreacting. Actually I take his side. This whole things is a beautiful celebration that should be special. But the wedding isn't what it's really about. It's really about the marriage. So what if it isn't perfect. You'd be amazed at the things you really don't notice when those doors open and you see your groom at the end of that aisle.
2006-09-26 09:31:00 · answer #10 · answered by bubb1e_gir1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't care too much about the ceremony. The details obviously aren't important to him. I'm in the same situation-I've finally gotten my fiance to at least LISTEN when I complain or am frustrated about the travel agent or the dresses...but he doesn't care about the details. He said to do whatever makes me happy.
It is frustrating when you feel like you're doing all of he planning on your own though...I would at least talk to him and tell him it's important that if you do go ahead and choose something, he at least listen to what it is and tell you if he agrees. That's what I've done so far. If I pick suggest something he doesn't like (which is just not very often) he'll tell me what his ideas are.
2006-09-26 12:17:58 · answer #11 · answered by abbya11111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋