Comments my boyfriend makes, am I taking them the wrong way?

Question

I have been going out with my boyfriend for a while. We are very different, but it has always been more of a good thing than a bad thing. He is of Scottish descent and from VA, and I am Latin, born in Argentina and raised in SF, CA. The problem doesn't sound major, but it REALLY buggs me. It makes me feel insecure.
I feel like he prefers blondes over brunettes. I wouldn't normally care, but sometimes we talk about celebrities and stars and he always finds girls that look NOTHING like me attractive. Also, people always say I look like Eva Longoria, and Jessica Alba. One day we were at Disneyland and about 3 different people said it, so he has heard them. Yet on Sunday we are watching Desperate Housewives and he says, "I don't get why people think Eva Longoria is hot. She isn't. She looks Mexican." First off, that is rude. Second, she IS Mexican and that is awesome. And third, I really do kind of look like her, it's called LATIN. This happens a lot. What can I do?

Answer 1

the question is, does he tell you you're beautiful?? also, there's got to be something else keeping your relationship together besides your looks- and i'm guessing he loves your insides?
i know what you mean, though. i've dated men who don't seem to be generally attracted to women similar to me--- if there's a strong heart connection there, dont' worry about it. but if it's bugging you, which you shouldn't feel bad about, then you should bring it up. next time he says something like "she looks like a mexican".. then ask him "do I look like a mexican?"(nicely, not rudely).

also, just a thing to put in, i have very fair skin. i have heard guys talk about the pastiness of some people, yet i knew they found me attractive. so remember, you are not Eva Longoria, you are yourself. there are many other parts to a person which makes beauty.

another example, tom cruise has always bugged me and i could never get why ppl think he's hot stuff, not because of his looks, but him! if it was an admirable guy in his body, then i'd be smitten, you know?

Answer 2

First thing is he grew up in the South, that says it all right there. (I am from VA) The thing the rest of these people are missing is the redneck male hand book!!!!! (Sorry) Next time you watch that show and he makes that comment or one to that effect you stand up in front of him, turn off the set and say look at me what decent am I. That's the only way these type men ever get it right. Than you will know....sweetie he may not even know for real the difference. He sees you as you! I am telling you These boys raised in the south with that redneck in them no matter how smart they are they have no couth in them. Just plain dumb as a brick until they loss the best thing they have and they are crying the blues cause they have no idea what stupid thing they did. Truthfully if that is all he has done; although it needs to be brought to his attention; you are doing pretty good. Wish you much Luck but do bring it to his attention it is not like you go around talking about the Scotts or the redneck/rebels from VA. OR maybe you should?
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Answer 3

Your boyfriend sounds very insensitive. I think I'd dump him. Wouldn't you rather have a man who tells you how wonderful you are, instead of bashing your "look" and making you feel insecure?

If you've told him how you feel and he ignores you, then he really doesn't care too much about your feelings, is very insecure and plays this game to make you feel insecure (so you won't have the confidence to dump him.) You have to decide if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life. What's he going to do if you become pregnant one day? Start calling you fat? Start pointing out skinny women?

Sorry, but if you are an attractive Latina woman, where's your confidence? Where's your spicey attitude? Why are you letting some white-boy put you down like this? You really should be with a man who is HOT for YOU and tells you that you look BETTER than Eva. You aren't taking them the wrong way: he sounds like a little bit of a jerk.

Answer 4

Tell your BF he is rude as hell & if he has an issue with Latin women (who are BEAUTIFUL by the way) then maybe he needs to find a dutch girl & you need to find a REAL man who will appreciate & adore the woman you are!
Good luck!

Answer 5

Your boyfriend is hopefully telling you regularly how beautiful you are to him. Perhaps he doesn't see you the same way as others do. Perhaps he thinks you're MORE beautiful. Maybe you should ask him what he finds attractive in you and go from there.

Answer 6

Stop being so self conscious and reading into it too much... if he's with you its for a reason isnt it? Dont you feel loved by him? If no then move on. If yes then you've just being paranoid.... guys are guys...and no matter how much they love their partner they will always look at other women.... what do you do if a totally hot guy walks by? Ignore it or look? Tell him this talk bugs you and see what he says...if you dont like the answer move on....

Answer 7

Get rid of him and let him find someone he likes, that crazy. Are you his in the meantime girlfriend? This is a situation that can only get worse. Next thing, he'll be critizing you outright about everything and nothing.

Answer 8

Maybe your b/f is playing on your insecurities about your looks. Believe it or not some guys are just mean like that.

Answer 9

You need to ask him what it is about you that attracted him in the first place. He doesn't sound like a gentleman to me. What was it about him that you liked because it obviously wasn't his charm.

Answer 10

people from ierland and scotland are assholes anyway if u look like those ladys then u are hot dont let him bring u down find some1 who will bring u up have agreat day