I suffer with a lack of confidence and look for reassurance all the time what should i do?

Answer 1

well done! you have taken the first very important step and that takes courage, so your confidence is building already. Be proud of yourself for coming onto this forum & asking for advice. I spent much of my life up till my late 20s living my life as I thought others expected me to live it, never believing in myself, always doing what I thought others thought I should do. This lack of confidence & self-esteem destroyed not only me, but my relationships too - it is true what they say, you can't love another until you love yourself - please talk to someone, start with a friend maybe, someone you can really trust...but ultimately you proabably need professional help, for me it was psychotherapy...a 2 year waiting list & just finishing 2 years of therapy - but worth all the effort. Now in my early 30s for the first time I am 'self-referencing' (therapist's term!), doing what I think I should do, making my own decisions, believing in myself...it is wonderful, please have the courage to ask for help...it will change your life...all the very best for the future...

Answer 2

Believe in yourself.. I am 25 and was going thru the same problem but my man reassured me that I was beautiful . I have lack of confidence because I just had a baby but I realize that I am beautiful nothing never changed... Look at your self in the mirror and tell yourself that you are gorgeous. And if you have negative ppl in your life get them out as quick as possible they will continue to bring you down and you dont need that

Answer 3

You know you want some body to give you some thing you should have youself. If some body gives you some reassurance that would be fake since only you know how good or how bad you are. If you are bad and you want somebody to tell you "you are good boy, keep it up" that does not me you'll become good.

So develop some confidence. Do things without being worried that you will do badly. Try thinking that you'll come out with flying colors and see what happens. I hope it helps.

Answer 4

When you lack confidence you have a small comfort zone. Don't try and break out of it in one go, that will be frightening and will only serve to encourage your lack of confidence. Think of something that frightens you, then break it down into smaller stages. Do one stage at a time, thus expanding the area of your comfort zone slowly, a bit at a time.

Wishing you all the luck in the world - you can do it! :o)

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel,I was like that from the age of about 16, It's only the last 2 yrs i'm starting to have a little more confidence, I was constantly put down and nothing was ever right, I felt worthless and all I wanted was to b loved.After my marriage broke down, I was left with 4 children to look after and everything else.I could'nt depend on anyone so I had to do things on my own.pm me if you want to chat.take care.

Answer 6

I feel the same. I find that doing myself up helps greatly. I have been very unconfident for most of my life, Im 33, then I started taking pride in myself, my hair, nails, eyes etc.. and I feel so much better. Unfortuately we can get caught in a rut and find it difficult to get out. No point someone saying go here or there, cos we dont have the confidence. Take little steps and they will soon become giant. Good luck xxx

Answer 7

Accept your self for who you are and you won't seek the approval of others so much. Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses. That will help you to see what you are good at and what you might need to work on. One thing a therapist had me to do was each day write down 5 good things about myself. I can't remember how long maybe a couple of weeks or so. But the purpose was telling myself positive things about myself. See we believe what we think so we have got to change what we think! Does that make sense. So start there. Start changing what you believe to be true about yourself.

Answer 8

I wonder if Psalm 138, verse 3 would help you? Or perhaps several verses from Psalm 56, and a great deal of the New Testament has encouraging words.

Answer 9

You could consider having counselling. It will help you look at yourself objectively and see your strengths and weaknesses how they really are. It is all too easy to be hard on yourself and not see the positives. I am sure you are a wonderful person but other people telling you that wont help. You need to feel it for yourself.

Answer 10

Practise makes perfect when you go out where no one knows you hold your head high and go in there like you are the queen, tell yourself no one knows me they don't no I'm not a confident person. you will feel on top of the world when you pull it off think as it as self therapy and reward yourself for doing well.