My bro is going through a rut that has been for about a year now... ive got him 2 job interviews and each time he messes them. Hes living at home and wont make any effort nor contribution... sleeps till 7pm at night and spends all his time and little money he has on online poker. My parents are at their wits end and dont know what to do as hes too arrogant to even talk and as far as he is concerned he is in the right and every one else is wrong. Weve thought about counselling but doesnt he need to accept he has a problem first? Whenever I try to talk to him he just sneers and tells me where to go. He is wasting his life and at 25 years old he should be going somewhere... any advice would be appreciated. Thanx
2006-09-26 07:05:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When someone is 'depressed' in the clinical/medical sense then actually there is very little you can do to help them. Whilst you can be supportive, offer advice and provide them with information, until they really decide for themselves that they need to get better then you can't force them. This is a vicious cycle really that can keep some people trapped in depression for many years. Once 'trick' you could try is to ask him to go to the doctor with you because hey, if there's nothing wrong with him, all the doctor will do is confirm that for him and prove you wrong... you know this isn't the case and maybe, just maybe, hearing a doctor tell him that there is something wrong and there is a treatment will wake him up to his problems. Until he is ready to get better though, just hang in there and be ready when he needs you!
2006-09-26 07:11:19 · answer #1 · answered by seaside_girl_03 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that, I can think of a few reasons why he might be like this...He could be on drugs, maybe serious depression, has anything bad happened to him latley? make him go to the doc's...or he could be just plain lazy Some people go into rut's like this one time or another in their live's.
The only I can think of helping him in giving him a reality check and kick him out of the parent's, he has to grow up and face the world, you can only help a person so much, just make sure he knows you all love and support him, but he need's to be a big boy now,and get a job and his own place. good luck with this ;)
2006-09-26 07:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he needs to accept his problem first and he will not if he continues to be enabled. It is a horrible notion, I know but everyone is keeping him sick by letting him live with them and getting him interviews. I have witnessed this first hand and watched years go by...it is like magic, amazing what happens when everyone stops helping AT ALL. That is why addiction hurts family's the most because they must go against their instincts in order to help..he will have some rough patches and tough love is tough on the family that is why you must be tough.
2006-09-26 07:12:35 · answer #3 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd say he's unsupportive, in the different case he's a classic brother. attempt making use of with the help of a interest business enterprise like Blue Arrow or Addecco (they're quite strong). in case you haven't recieve attractiveness with the help of your CV (as I have), then there should be something incorrect along with your CV. See a occupation consultant or seek for suggestion from from a pair recruitment specialists. carry out somewhat volunteering to develop your attractiveness (and to a minimum of get a Millenium Volunteering Award) i tips Kleeneze (multilevel marketing business enterprise) interior the interim to progression up extra money even as you seem for paintings and keep on helping you financially for the period of paintings. strong success
2016-10-16 02:26:08 · answer #4 · answered by rhona 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what he needs (don't take this the wrong way) he needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and get off his **** and find a job, when you've got no money, you've got nothing, so he needs to stop moping around and get positive....it seems that everything is about him he does not consider your feelings one bit, which is a tad selfish, there are people out there who cant get a job because they are physically impaired, he's an able bodied young man, he needs a wake up call...he does not sound depressed to me, he just seems lazy.. he's wasting his life just sitting round doing nothing, have your parents make him get his own place, he is 25 now and old enough to fend for himself...that will wake him up....only he can help himself, so why don't you just leave him to, just don't help him any more, he's using depression as an excuse not to get out and earn a decent living,
2006-09-26 09:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to accept his problem and not be enabled anymore. If everyone keeps doing stuff for him, he'll be able to continue in his wrong thinking too easily.
There are some people who do go live on their own and get on welfare or whatever and still act the way you described, like nothing's wrong. They're depressed but feel like everything is beneath them, it seems. Tough love doesn't work with them. They go on wasting their lives till they're ready to come out of their coma....
2006-09-26 07:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's not arrogant, just one of lifes natural bone idle cant be arsed lazy users who will suck the life, love and money from anyone who's daft enough to give it, your parents need to get tough and kick the loser out, he'll either straighten out or be a tramp, but dont forget thats his choice. At the moment he gets virtually whatever he can and gives nothing but grief in return, you need to open your eyes and you will realise what a user and a slob he really is.
2006-09-26 08:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Max 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Although he's 25 it sounds like your brother still has some growing up to do. It may be painful but you may have to sit and wait until he comes to his senses, which he surely will do. Some day he'll realise that life is passing him by and he doesn't have the quality of life or advantages that his peers have. Be patient, he'll grow out of it.
2006-09-26 07:21:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest him to take INDIAN NONI to recover from his stress and tensions and if he can market the same he can see lot of sick persons recovering from many types of illness as NONI even can stop further detoriation of cancer in a person and make him survive. This will not only give your brother some blessing and there is a business opportunity too.
2006-09-26 07:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Sean here,try and see it from he.s point of view,he probably does not think he,s life is worth anything.give him back the power to get himself back on track,by telling him how much you all love him and are hurt by looking at him wasting his time doing nothing,when you know how much he has to offer.sometimes when you look beyond the problem you see that people don't do thing's for nothing.its hard when it,s your family but remember all we have is family at the end of the day
2006-09-26 07:20:32 · answer #10 · answered by Sean K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋