How to tel my BF that his personal hygiene is bad?

Question

My BF is a very nice guy for the most part but he has this lack of being clean about him. Such as, washing after using the toilet and passing gas all the time then laughing. I know what you are thingking "how old is he" he is 33 yrs old and acts like a kid. He also has hellacious breath which is something coming from me (a smoker). Everytime I mention him washing up or anything he gets upset and tells me that he doesn't need another mom. Any suggestions on how to approach this without causing more problems?

Answer 1

When he complains that he doesn't need another mom, you could reply with something like "You're right, but you might be needing another girlfriend soon!". It's just outright nasty to not wash your hands after using the restroom...eeewww!

You might also skip kissing him, if his breath is bad...When his hygiene begins to change his ability to get what he wants from you, he might decide that it's worth the two minutes it takes to clean up.

Answer 2

Consider making the enviremint of your home a very clean smelling place. Scented candles can be very effective with there soft pleasing scents.. Lovingly tell him that a clean smelling man is a very super turn on. Gently lead him to a sink and wash his hands for him after he come from the bath room...make it something special. you may also consider telling him farting as a joke kills a mood or feeling.. Consider buying him your favorite mans soap and colone collection . Think of some of scents you may have liked when you were a young teenager. Tell a story or a memory of it in the past. You may even be able to find them again. Consider opening the scented kit in a romantic setting and mood a little soft music.. a softly lite room. and rubbing a little on his neck or chest when you are close together. Just a small stroke in a loving manner. As far as kissing goes..Gently tell him a clean mouth would do wonders as far as the style of kissing you would enjoy sharing ..a mint or a fast rinse could improve your response to the mood. Most of all be honest about the situation and stand firm but understanding. I do not know how close you are in feelings.. But you could also gently say.. this is not his parents house.. its your space and if he wants to to enjoy more of it..the simple changes and -pleasures towards you as a woman would improve everything. Its not a big task.. But it is a matter of caring towards you. And in your relationship.

Answer 3

I totally know what you mean! My BF was totally like that and I basically would offer him gum all the time and not kiss him. He would get pretty offended but eventaully got he message. As far as not washing after using the toliet I would not let him touch me and finnally he got into the habit. You probably wont change the farting thing- thats on another level what you could do is offer up your farts and if he complains that it's nasty he'll know how it feels. as far as a snappy retort for when he says he doesnt need another mom you can tell him that he obviosly does since she did'nt train him to have manners. Seriously though, if someone is so nasty that it makes you sick, thats a total deal breaker

Answer 4

He's not respecting himself by keeping himself clean...and he's not respecting YOU by not listening to what you are saying and taking it personally instead. Very often this a sign of some deep rooted emotional problems so I'd be wary and take note of that.

I let him know again that you are telling him because you CARE about him and what others may think of him - that they may judge him on his hygiene instead of the great person he is inside. I'd also tell him it's hurtful to you that he can't at least try to improve what is such an easy request if it might please you.

PS...forget about the passing gas thing though...most all of them do that...them = male species....lol

Answer 5

Girl, I've been there. It's a really sticky situation but something has to be done. You can try enticing him to take showers with you, but ultimately your going to have to have the talk. The way I approached it was basically telling him I loved him no matter what, but didn't want to get too close to him when he's "not so fresh" he's gotten so much better, he now showers daily, yipee. I hope my answer was some help.

Answer 6

well you did tell him. I guess he knows and just doesnt care.
Dont let him cook anything if he has those kind of bathroom habits..

Give him lots of gum, a new toothbrush maybe he will use it. Try passing him a mint candy when you kiss him.

Just a note, I broke up with someone who would intentionally fart and laugh. I dont mind childish but that one thing annoyed me so much I just could not live with it.

Answer 7

I would use this tactic. Make it sound that another person, besides you, someone he respects and it important to him, that they made a comment about his inability to take pride in his appearance and over all slovenly personal hygiene. Most of the time people will listen to what a stranger has to say than someone close to them.

Answer 8

A problem! Don't tell him that he needs to get cleaner for about a month....then tell him about a friend and how terrible she feels when her bf is dirty....be subtle and pray he realises he needs to get clean too!....

or get somebody to post a mail about cleanliness and make sure you leave it somewhere he notices!!

if in your shoes, i would just talk to him straight but lovingly! All the best!

Answer 9

Hmm. Encourage positive behavior and ignore negative behavior. When he's doing the things you like, make sure he knows you like it. "You smell nice tonight," followed by some physical affection can go a long way.

Answer 10

this may sound alittle weird but try showering together, will help his problem and maybe it could be fun for both of ya