My father-in-law is very sick with cancer. We have not told my son anything to this point. What should we tell him when he passes?
2006-09-26 07:00:14 · 10 answers · asked by Texas318-222 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I’m so sorry for you and your family! Losing a loved one is hard for everyone.
I think after he passes, wait until he is on down time. I would do it early in the day so he has some time to process before going to bed. I would start off by saying that "I have some very sad news. Grandpa was very sick and died." Depending on your beliefs, you may want to tell them that "heaven needed his help."
Empathize with him about his loss. "I know you are feeling very (upset, sad, hurt) about this. Mommy and daddy feel sad too." Give his lots of extra love and support. Don’t be afraid to show him that it is hard for you and your husband as well. He will need time to grieve.
He will probably begin to worry about losing you and his daddy. Make sure he understands that you will be here for a long long time.
There are several good children's books that talk about death. Lifetimes-Bryan Mellanie, I Miss You-Pat Thomas, I’ll Always Love You-Hans Wihelm are some of my favorites. They are great books that help young children understand about loss and grieving. You can find them on Amazon or your local book store or library. I hope this helps.
2006-09-26 12:56:47 · answer #1 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is 3-1/2, not stupid. He can hear and see. He knows something is going on and it is up to you to let him know that it is okay to express emotions and to be involved with whats going on. Sure PopPop has been sick and it will be hard for him to let go, if it is hard for you to let go. A better place is promised with no sickness and pain, a place where PopPop will be should he ever needs to talk with him. Keep pictures of happy times always out and talk about them to keep them fresh, in your mind as well as his. How he preceives "Homegoings" are how you precieve it. You are his first teacher. God Bless.
2006-09-29 23:39:56 · answer #2 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth. Grandpa has gone to heaven and is never coming back. Or something like that. They told me when I was young that Gramma was just "sleeping" and I kept waiting for her to wake up, and wondered how she would breathe in the "box".
2006-09-26 07:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 4 when my grandfather died. I was informed when he passed and attended the funeral. It didn't do much to me. I didn't understand the concept of death. The vast majority of children aren't going to at that age. It's really up to you and the kind of relationship your son has with his gramps.
2006-09-26 07:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that grandpa has gone to heaven. He's not even 4 yet, and it is really, really unlikely that he'll remember any of this. So I would not be too concerned. Even if you told him grandpa died, he's too young to really understand what's going on anyway. Even if he does get upset over not seeing his grandpa, in a few weeks he'll forget about it anyway.
2006-09-26 07:20:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be as honest as you can be with you son. Let him ask questions and answer them to the best of your ability. You don' t know how he will react so there is no way to to prepare. Good Luck!
2006-09-26 07:12:38 · answer #6 · answered by DC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My grandmother just died in June and my chidlren were close to her. They knew she was sick b/c I always took them to see her in the hospital. My children know about God also. When she died I told them that she went to live with jesus in heaven and that she didn't have to be sick and in the hospital anymore. Then, before we went to the funeral home, I told them......You know how when you leave your house....it is empty, there is noone in it....but the house is still there?? Well, our bodies are our houses while we are on earth. We live in our bodies. But, when we die, we leave our bodies, or our houses. Granny is not in her house or body anymore. I told them they would see her body, where she used to live, but there was no one in it. She was in heaven. They were fine with it. I let them see the body and was very calm and they were not scared.
2006-09-26 07:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what to tell him, other than Grandpa went to heaven with the angels. But one nice thing we did at my husband's grandmother's funeral was all of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren were given balloons. They released their balloons at the gravesite to tell grandma they loved her and goodbye, the kids were able to see the balloons going up to heaven, so they felt their messages reached her.
2006-09-26 07:06:18 · answer #8 · answered by S. O. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm sure your son knows about God. tell him that when people die they go to God and wait for everyone else to come join them. We told my neices who were 2 and 5 that their maw maw went to join god and their pets that died and they'd see them all one day. Either way its hard Good luck
2006-09-26 07:06:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sondra 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do lot of prayer with her
2006-09-27 02:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋