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I'm a stay at home mother to two children 4 and 2, My question is would it be fair for me to ask him for help with the housework? dishes,mopping,vaccuming,bathroom cleaning,laundry,bathing the kids,feeding them i mean the list goes on and on!! I kinda would feel selfish if i did ask for help i don't know if it's fair for me to do all that alone?

2006-09-26 06:47:26 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

17 answers

I am a stay-at-home with a 3 and 6 year old. My husband has helped me with housework since the day we got married (I got pregnant one month later). He works all day, but so do I (but in a different sense). When he gets home all the fun is really starting....lets see there is dinner, homework, baths, bedtime routine. Why should his day end at lets say 5...and yours continue on until 9 pm. Parenting is a 24 hour a day job....why should you be the only parent to do it? I give my husband a break when he gets home from work....until dinner time, but after that we split the remaining chores. He does dishes, I do homework, one of us reads to the kids and the other baths them. Some nights he has to do it all because I have a meeting or something, but there are also night where I do it all because he has meetings. My hubby also helps with laundry and does the yard work.

Figure out a way to split the "night time" chores so you can both get some down time. In my opinion if both parents are in the home then it takes 2 people to parent....not just one. Talk to hubby and let him know how you feel...hopefully he will understand, but not all do. If you would like to "talk" some more you can email me at vlb867@yahoo.com, just reference stay-at-home mom.

Hope this helps and good luck.

2006-09-26 07:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

I was working but just had a baby 4 months ago so I stay home now this is what we do..... I do all housework. Daily I do 1-2 loads of laundry, vacuum and dishes. When he gets home ( after 9 hours of working) he goes strait to the shower and then takes over the baby, all feeding diapers and changing. That leaves me time to make dinner and whatever else I have energy for. While I put her to bed HE does dishes. I only mop and deep clean bathrooms once a week on the weekends so he's home to help while I drag out the chemicals....Is it selfish absolutely not but things like taking the kids to the park or even outside is a huge help, so maybe try low impact things of that nature so you don't feel like your over working him.

2006-09-26 07:41:34 · answer #2 · answered by skhoury28nails 3 · 0 0

I personally think the entire family needs to share in it.
The reality is NOT that- I'm afraid.
Best wishes.

I'm with ya sister! I'm newly a stay at home mom, I did not like the "way" my son had changed in Daycare and he is almost three. He went IN with manners and a strong foundation of alphabet, numbers and colors and he was returned with a "smart mouth" not a smart mind. The phrase, " I don't think so" came to mind.


I do plan to work part time and take him two or three days a week to a new daycare in the New year. I need some away time- I am going nuts. Even "IF" my job pays for just daycare, it will help me. Selfish is not a bad thing if it makes me a better mother and wife and a happier ME.

We are working on the "potty training". Dude that's not easy stuff!

2006-09-26 07:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Denise W 6 · 0 0

A stay at home mom is a full time position. Even more so than a regular full time job. Your hours are not 9-5. its 24/7. It's ok to ask for help. Keeping kids well fed, clean, educated, healthy and clothed is hard work as it is. Add in the the housework and you will eventually break. It's one thing if you a single mom, it's another when you have someone who could help. Yes even mom's need a break too. If not for your kids, then for your own sanity. As your kids get older, they will need even more help. Especially when the homework come in.

2006-09-26 06:55:10 · answer #4 · answered by nysmarksilfen 2 · 0 0

Being a stay at home mom is a full time job. You need to get done what you can during the day without stressing yourself and the kids out and then at night, all chores should be shared. The thing that people do not realize, men especially, is that a stay at home mom does not sit in front of the TV eating Bon Bons all day. You need a break sometimes too and some time to relax. It is hard to commit to being a stay at home mom and takes a lot of sacrifice to make that decision. Good for you, and remember not to forget to take some YOU time.

2006-09-26 06:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by steph 3 · 0 0

Ok. I'm not a stay at home mom. However, when I was married my wife was. I worked 40+ hours per week while she stayed home with our kids. I didn't do as much of the house work that she did but, I would at least cook dinner every now and then. On the weekends, I would take the boys to a movie or something so she could have some time to herself. There is nothing wrong with asking him to help out. It's his house and they are his kids too. My ex-wife decided to start seeing her cop friend while I was at work but, if I ever get re-married I will help around the house. Does your husband get vacations from his work? Then why not you?

2006-09-26 07:03:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am also a stay at home mom. I have 21 month old twins. My husband is a concrete finisher that works 12 hr. days. I don't ask him to do much. Take out the garbage is about it. I take care of the inside, he does the outside. It all depends on if he works and how hard. Don't feel selfish for wanting a break every now and again. I know I don't. Good Luck.

2006-09-26 06:56:25 · answer #7 · answered by Donna 6 · 0 0

I ask my husband to do the dirty work for me (taking out the garbage, dealing with the litter box, unclogging the toilet) after that, as a stay at home mom, it's my job to make my home a pleasant environment --- That' doesn't necessarily mean a clean one. You're home should be safe and sterile, after that, if you are feeling overwhelmed, you should relax. Have a glass of wine, watch a TV show for an hour or two. Sometimes, the happiest homes are the ones with toys all over the floor! Remember, he doesn't ask you to help at the office, don't ask him to do your jobs.

2006-09-26 06:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 0 0

Your job is taking care of the kids , so asking for help around the house is fair. You shouldn't have to ask .. I stay at home and if the floors need to be mopped my man does it , he comes home and cook sometimes too , we share the chores in the house

2006-09-26 10:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Army Wife ♥ 4 · 0 0

It depends on how many hours a week he works, as well as the type of work he does. If you have a good relationship with him, sit him down and talk to him about it - tell him that you're feeling a little overwhelmed with everything and ask for his help. It could be that you just need some organization and scheduling. I know that always helps me when I have more stuff to do than I have hours in a day to do it. :) good luck.

2006-09-26 06:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0 0

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