We are an older (me 42, him 45) couple, and love each other very much. I believe him when he tells me this. But I think I am so much in love right now, it's bordering on obsession, and I don't want to chase him away. I am giddy, like a teenager when I'm with him. When I'm not, I scrutinize everything he does and says and wonder about what he's doing.
He's a great guy and I don't want to lose him. How do I stop being so suffocating to him?
2006-09-26 06:15:52 · 20 answers · asked by deb 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to trust him. You need to have a life outside of him. You will definilty lose him if you keep doing that. Only you can control what you do. You can be in so much love, but still be respectful that he is his own person. Don't analyze everything, that has hurt a relationship in the past for me. Take it for what it is. Men are usually straight forward and thats how they expect you to take it. Go have fun with your friends and realize that you NEED to trust him, or you will lose him.
2006-09-26 06:26:59 · answer #1 · answered by ConfusedK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long have you guys been together? If its a short amount of time. then this indicates lack of trust or low self confidence on your behalf. I know this may sound harsh but think about it.
1. If you havent been together that long, why are you becoming so attached to him so fast? Do you feel you can't get another guy? Last time I checked theres not a shortage of guys out there. I could be wrong though so let me know.
2. the more suffocating you are, the more the chances of losing him are. See the movie How to Lose a guy in 10 days and you know what I'm talking about
Cheers
and I hope this helped and you two have a great relationship together.. maybe under the altar!
2006-09-26 06:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Cules 4 life: ASHKON IS BACK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have time to yourself when your in a relationship. You can;t always be together or else it isn't going to last.Set up a day with one or more of your friends and have a night out. Tell him to so the same. If you know that he loves you and you love him then there should be no reason to second guess anything that he does. You should be able to trust him enough to know that he wouldn't cheat on you. If you can't get past that then you have some insecurity's about yourself and you need to go to a therapist and work them out or else you will loose him. You are going to drive yourself as well as him crazy! You can't sit and wonder what he is doing 24-7 you have to live your life. Dont wait untill it's too late.
2006-09-26 06:26:22 · answer #3 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should relax and enjoy the relationship. I guarantee that scrutinizing will destroy what you have. Usually with men, there is no double meaning or insinuation so it really is a huge waste of time. Don't be obsessive. Keep busy with other things. Start thinking of ways to make him enjoy you more. Generally, the less selfish we are, the better our love life is.
2006-09-26 06:20:26 · answer #4 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have your own life, or no relationship will ever work. Everyone is their own person. I do understand the "obsession" feelings however. I realized, not long ago, that I seemed to be getting "obsessed" with meing with my fiance all the time and when he went out, and didn't even drink, I got silly mad....more like jealous I guess. It is something you need to talk yourself out of. Do you have gf's that you could do things with when he is busy? Go catch a movie ALONE....there is NOTHING wrong with that or go check out a cool little reading cafe. You got to get your mind on other things and things will straighten out. It's all called finding your one and falling madly in love, but if he doesn't feel like he wants to be with you most of the time, I think you may need to have a talk with him because you may be on different pages.
Good Luck!!
2006-09-26 06:23:26 · answer #5 · answered by lynswil_25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know the problem, make a harder effort not to do the worst. If you forsee it coming to head and a possible problem between the two of you, let him in on it. Explain you don't mean to be feeling this way, you are just so affraid he might get away. If you truely believe him, you should feel more security in trusting him than start obsessing and having it lead you to jealousy.
2006-09-26 06:21:18 · answer #6 · answered by MrsPTB4Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get busy.....spend time doing something that leaves you happy and busy...you won't have time to think on what he's doing right now....go out with some friends.....you must have your own life...your privicy. You are no longer a teenager.....there's a world out there....so enjoy life and stop suffocating him...the more you suffocate him...the more you push him away from you....be kind, let him go out with friends.....don't call all the time asking where he is, with whom, doing what?! Let him be free....and be free your self as well...
2006-09-26 06:24:30 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be happy with who you are as a single person first. Then move to the couple stage. If you aren't happy with life as a single person, and CHOOSE to marry, you won't be happy later. Let the relationship go for awhile & see how giddy you are in, say, 18-24 months....
2006-09-26 06:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn self control! Stop tripping when your not with him guys HATE that! Still be happy when your together it's fun to act like a teenager. If you don't have a reason to think he's doin anything wrong then just be cool. A good man is hard to find!
2006-09-26 06:19:31 · answer #9 · answered by Lynda S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am young but my mother is in the same boat. first off does he feel like your suffocating him, i mean yeah of course you cant spend every waking moment together but you can for sure take advantage of the time spent. i mean it is not a bad thing to feel this way about someone. i would say talk to him about and see how he feels, see if the feeling is mutual. if it is..... run with it becuase you two have somthing alot of other couples do not. good luck
2006-09-26 06:21:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋