My boyfriend doesn't have a job.. what should I do??

Question

My boyfriend lost his license and is filing bankruptcy to get it back.. thats a long story.. but in the mean time, he does not have a job.. and says he will get one when his bankruptcy goes through.. he does other things to make money, like work on cars.. etc. but we live together and i end up paying most of bills, even though he does pay a couple. I don't know what to do, i love him to death and i can't stand the thought of us not being together, but this is getting really tought for me! I need help!! What do I do?

I have a job.. and I get payed good.. So we are broke.. but we are not so broke we're about to be put out.

Answer 1

Couples are suppose to move forward TOGETHER, in order to have a better future for both.

Is this the first time he's done something like this? have you been supporting both from the beginning? does he helps with house duties? Are you the only one putting yourself out?

I can understand help him out once or twice but, you TWO need to bring the same amount of everything to your house I mean... Love, respect, work, understanding, food and...


You have to decide what do you need in your life, we can advice you but we can not tell you what to do. Becca, Love is the most beautiful thing, but you also need respect and be proud of your partner ... are you? because there is going to be a moment when you get tired and then maybe then is going to be too late...

If you are young and starting a life, you need to save money and look for your future with someone that is at the same level as you!

Give yourself some time and see how things go, if he gets too comfy then you need to think about more about YOU.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Most of us grew up with a notion that the guy should carry the financial weight of the relationship...or at least of himself. The reality here in 2006 is that that just doesn't happen all the time. I know this is hard for you, but try to be patient and loving.

If he is working on a bankruptcy, that will do a lot to take the financial load off your back. Be sure he stays on top of it and gets it done as soon as possible.

If he is also doing odd jobs...well, that is something. If he could do enough to pay for your groceries every month, you might want to consider giving him a break.

I would also suggest that if you are the major income-earner then perhaps it would be good if he did more of the housework to help make a better home for you both.

You also need to take a good look at yourself. Are you the kind of person who can actually suggest that money and the things it buys is more important to you than the love of a good man? Is the happiness you have with him of so little value to you that you're willing to toss it aside just because he isn't the one bringing home the bacon right now? Have we all become so morally lax and self-absorbed that having all the little trinkets we'd like to buy is more important than honouring our commitment to a loving relationship just because times have gotten tough? I really don't think you are that kind of selfish person...at least, I hope you're not.

Love isn't love just because everything is all happy and wonderful. You never really find out what love is until things get hard. If you love him, then you will love him whether he has a cent to his name or not.

Answer 3

This is creepy BUT I swear to you I am going through the SAME thing down to the license and everything but one extra thing he also had no place to live and lived off of me for a while. The thing is I loved him so much but it was too hard and I couldn't keep going that way so I told him that I couldn't be with him until he got his act together. We broke up and 1 year later he had a job and an apartment still not license but oh well. We got back together and now we've been together 2 1/2 years and things are great. Still no licence but were working on that.

Sometimes you have to let somone go to see how much they really care.

Good luckQ

Answer 4

This would not be my usual answer,but lets try something different.

It seems that you really like him so let's give him the benefit of the doubt. He says he will get a job once the bankruptcy is complete(which I don't see what that has to do with ANYTHING,but OK). Tell him that is cool you all can work it out till then, but after it is complete he has thirty days to get a job or get out. Hopefully he will rise to the occasion if not you better rise to the occasion...If you can't do that you are in far a hard time b/c he is going to use you up and leave you for somebody who can better support him when he gets the chance. Then you are going to back up here mad at the world and men for something you chose to do. And that's all I have to say about that!

Good Luck

Answer 5

Sounds like he isn't too good at handling money.

You are the only one who knows your limits and it sounds like you are about there.

Make a plan. Let him know that if he isn't contributating more to the household expences you will either have to move out. Or he will have to move out. If you don't take a stand you might spend the rest of your life working and paying this guys way in life.

Love doesn't alway mean you have to be with someone., if they drain you of money and energy you might have to just love him from afar and find an other love interest

First of all you need to take care of yourself and have a man in your life who works hard. Not a free loader. If you think he will get a job soon, then be patient. But....don't sacrfice the rest of your life for a guy who is your love but a dud.


When young often we feel love can conquer all. It doesn't.

Answer 6

I'm on that same boat with you, my boyfriend, had a good job, but was let go.(long story), now he has a part time job, but I make most of the money and there for pay most of the bills and I'm buying everything for the baby we have coming in a couple of month.
The way I look at it is like this, God, does everything for a reason.

I also think it's up to you. I've decided to stick it out with my man, through good times and bad times, and this is just one of the bad times.

Good luck to you .

Answer 7

Say just that to him...you love him very much but you have to understand it's getting to the point where I can't make ends meet. Suggest going to a temp agency or one of those places where you work today, get paid today. Let him know if things don't change soon, what could happen...you might get evicted, or maybe the phone will get shut off. He will argue you but tell him if he really loves you to please put more of an effort in. Bankruptcies can take a few months and you can't live like this much longer. Good luck!

Answer 8

Have him look for something closer to the house. He got himself into this situation and now he will have to make some sacrifices (like working a job he may not like). He should not expect you to make all the sacrifices for decisions he made to get himself into this mess. If he is not willing to buck up and do what needs to be done then I may reconsider this situation. What happens if you get ill and can't work for awhile. Can you depend on him. IF there were a legitimate reason he couldn't work at all then you should be supportive and understanding but just because he wants to wait so he can have the job he wants to work is not good enough. He should have thought of that before.

Answer 9

DON'T START SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT TO CONTEND WITH !!!! He's being a freeloader now, and will only get worse with time. Been there done that, it's not a womans responsibility to foot the bill for a man. Cash under the table is ok for a little EXTRA cash that you don't want uncle sam to get his hands into. But it's not a stable job for a man thats wants a woman in his life. It's a lazy excuse for getting by or around the system and finding a woman sorrier than he is to put up with such foolishness. If you stay with him on into marriage, his financial problems will become 'ours' and eventually just become yours.

Answer 10

He needs to get a job, there is no excuse for him not to be out looking. Also you need to tell him exactly what you want from him so he knows what you expect. You shouldn't have to pay all of the bills...you guys live together and so there should be a partnership in what you do.

Best of hopes to you...