When asked why he won't use it he always replys"cause". Please help me. Do I start forcing him to sit on the toilet or what. Please somebody help me out.
2006-09-26 05:47:35 · 11 answers · asked by cindy s 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
I must add that the Dad and I have been together for almost 3 years. This child is with us at least 50% of the time. We will be married soon so therefore It IS my responsibility to help raise this boy.
2006-09-26 06:50:22 · update #1
Ditch the man and his kid. God, if the kid can't even use the potty properly, what kind of dad does he have?
Sometimes it's far better to just be single.
2006-09-26 05:51:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Find out whether he uses the potty at his other house, and what works for him there. If he's having the problem everywhere, you need to work with his other caregivers to develop a consistent routine and reward system. (My son liked stickers.)
If he's only having the problem at your house, then find out what his other caregivers are doing and replicate it at your house. If you need to go buy the blue air freshener, the wipes with the froggy, and the stool with Spiderman stickers on it that mommy has, then so be it.
Making the transition between households may be difficult for him, even if it hasn't been before. He may be going through a developmental stage where that's just hard on him. So be sure that you're providing the most comforting environment you can, and keeping a regular routine.
You'll really need to cooperate with his mother (or grandparents, whoever he lives with the rest of the time), as well. It will be very important for him, especially at such a young age. Good luck.
But DON'T force him. Won't work, and will make things worse. Take him to the toilet at regular times, every hour or so, and see if he needs to go. After a minute or two, let him get up. When he has an accident, just say, "Accidents happen," and have him help you clean it up. Not as punishment, but just because it needs to be cleaned up.
It's very, very important to be patient. When he says, "'Cause," it's because he's only three and doesn't have the words or the understanding to tell you why. He just doesn't know, poor thing.
2006-09-26 16:24:30 · answer #2 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just an FYI, when I started to potty train my son, the average age suggested to begin was 3 years old for boys. Girls start earlier. Soooooo, it's okay. My son took not quite a year to be without accidents and through the night with no diapers. If he's ready and willing, the process will take consistency and patience on all caregivers parts.
Some tips...
I was using Pullups with him (and my daughter) and I finally had to stop buying those too-they just prolong the process. It's actually easier with diapers!
After some weeks with potty training, I let the diaper supply dwindle down and gave warnings to the kids as to how many were left. I also went out with them and let them pick out some fun underwear.
You have them use the potty right before they leave, and as soon as they arrive somewhere. If they say they don't have to go, you ask them to sit there and count to 20 and see what happens.
Be sure to have a change of clothes on hand always because accidents WILL happen.
If he won't go potty, that's a control issue. Wait till he's ready. He's maintaining control of something in his life. The good news, he won't be wearing diapers forever, although it feels like it.
All caregivers need to be on the same page. If you are truley concerned, perhaps a conversation is in order with the mom to have everyone be using the same system. Children thrive on consistency. Strive to create such; even if it's different that the other home, yours can be predictable and thus safe. Parenting, even if he is not your own, is a selfless commitment....but a fun and rewarding one. Checkout Babycenter.com for more help.
2006-09-26 15:05:25 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin & Kiki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say since he is a boy daddy need to have a talk with him and tell him big boys pee in the potty and make him go every 30 min- 1 hour and reward him if he goes most dads usually when the kid is a bit younger the dad will let the little boy watch him go potty, and show him how it is done my son I started him by sitting him on the toilet when he was 1, every time I saw him trying to go poop eventually he started going poop in the potty then his dad was always at work so I let him come into the bathroom with me and he would ask what you doing mommy I would just say mommy is going pee pee like a big girl then eventually he was potty trained during the day at the end of two, he is three now he does have accidents when playing. Another thing you can do if you feel like cleaning up is put underwear on him if he pee's make him sit in it for a few he wont like it too much.
2006-09-26 14:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by Lisha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thought, is that he may be playing a control battle. He knows he can get away with it. One way I was able to end control battles with my boys (4 and 2) was to offer them choices on other things, such as red shirt or blue shirt, peanut butter toast or cereal, Thomas the Tank Engine or Jay Jay the Jet Plane,etc... When you offer choices for the little things , they feel in control of their lives and can become more confident and independent. So, the potty training, may not be an issue anymore. He doesn't feel the need to control that.
Sorry for the ramble, I hope that made sense
2006-09-26 14:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jim_JillianAnderson 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you have the patience, try to have him wear underwear in the house... and when he wets his underwear he WONT like the idea of wearing it ... Tell him to let you know that he needs to go potty and if he does go potty in the toilet, reward him with a cookie or a Popsicle ...
However, I recommend you to put pull-ups on him when you go out of the house becuz you may not know when he will have "accident" ...
It worked for my daughter when she was younger ... I would put underwear on her when we were home and when she has wet her undies she knows the next time she has to go potty in the toilet ... I put pull ups on her when we go out of the house unless I know where the restrooms are at the stores ...
Good Luck ...
2006-09-26 13:02:30 · answer #6 · answered by Little J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the parent. You can not force him to do anything.
The mother & the father have to discuss the best way to potty train him. And they have to work together on this.
I suggest he be put on the potty every hour on the hour. And no more diapers. But you can't do this. It must be up to the mother 7 the father & they have to agree to both do this.
2006-09-26 13:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by ee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have an family members or friends close to his age that are toilet trained? Sometimes they will follow an example of another child close in age who uses the toilet. I would not force him. One thing a friend of mine noticed when her son wouldn't take to using the toilet is that the Pull Ups weren't uncomfortable enough for him to not want to go in his pants. It is not much fun but if you get him to wear regular underwear he might be less likely to want to go to the bathroom in his pants but you would have to clean up the mess.
2006-09-26 12:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by superrrmodel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe if you and his dad stressed to him over & over, how 'big boys' use the potty, & how proud he'd make you if he used it, that would help. In other words, lots & lots of positive reinforcement! No negatives! Does he use the potty when he's with his mother? (or whoever else he stays with). If not, then she needs to do the same. Is he still in diapers? If so, I believe I'd take them off.
2006-09-26 12:56:09 · answer #9 · answered by satillarivergal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have him seat on the potty then keep him there as long as you can also try outdoors its a great potty and little boy love to go by the tree
2006-09-26 18:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by chuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋