we have a 15 month ol baby girl and we never married. we are both in recovery and she has a boarderline personality disorder. she cheated on me for years when we broke up. then i cheated on her and she is at my throat about it. she has started dating again. it is killing me. i am trying to turn it over. leave it alone and let it fix itself. but i cannot stop wanting her....... what do i do?
2006-09-26 05:47:28 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know it is hard but you need to sort your own life out before you can even think about trying to get involved with her. It isn't about just you and her anymore, you need to think about your daughter and how your actions will affect her.
It is surely better for her to be in a stable home, rather than you and her mother flitting between being together and not being together.
Rather she has two happy parents that are apart than two that are together and constantly fighting.
2006-09-26 05:50:58 · answer #1 · answered by sarahlmann2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not going to like my answer but you need to let the relationship go. I know thats hard because she will always be in your life due to your chiled but you guys are not healthy for each other. You need to move on. Honestly I think you should stay out of relationships for a while and focus on yourself. Learn who you are as a sober person and what you want out of life and a relationship and then find someone with simualr wants and needs.; If someday you both have grown up and figured out who you are what you want and how to get there then go for it but for now focus on YOU!
2006-09-26 12:52:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know her well. . . It seems yall have both done wrong so in order for her to forgive you. You better let her know you are sorry and that it will NEVER happen again. Remind her that your daughter needs her real father around. And do remember maybe she can over react because of her condition. If yall are still talking let her know that you wanna talk to her and that you still really do love and care for her.
2006-09-26 12:53:20 · answer #3 · answered by Smile 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek some type of therapy for yourself and then maybe family therapy. The problem seems too big to handle on your own. Also remember the key components are recovery and your child.
2006-09-26 12:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by Keishia R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something pulled you to her. You have a child together. Remember her favorite things. Remember birthdays and special occasions. Show her you want her. She will see it. I promise. But it is a two way street. If she goes for another try with you, get couples therapy and let your relationship grow. If she doesn't want to be with you anymore then let her go.
2006-09-26 12:52:29 · answer #5 · answered by Lynn L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first and foremost... be in the baby girls life always!
With the whole thing that she keeps telin you that you cheated on her, even though she cheated on you it looks like she is finding any excuse out of the relationship. So she most likely means it...You should move on hun.. *hug* good luck =]
2006-09-26 12:57:03 · answer #6 · answered by lila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just to much between both of you, now she is so use to of leaving you, its going to be hurt full for you to wait for her, just leave it, that's the only way, don't call, don't beg, she will come back, or you should try to date some other nice girl and try to learn from your mistakes.
2006-09-26 12:53:59 · answer #7 · answered by Alisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go...there is too much bad history that will constantly be rehashed...let her go and move forward with your life. This relationship will do nothing but cause more heartache and pain down the road.
2006-09-26 12:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by aak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start dating other girls. Let her know somehow that you have moved on and see how she reacts. If nothing happens, just move on. And if something does happen, well, congrats.
2006-09-26 12:52:41 · answer #9 · answered by srroldan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your recovery, your sanity HAS to come first. Without that, nothing is worth anything....remember??? If you don't feed the obsession, the obsession will die.
2006-09-26 12:51:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋