I think my boyfriend of one year needs space..I know he does to figure out how to get over his past and live in the here and now. I have wanted and tried to accept this and allow space with out the threat of leaving him...just letting him grow and figure his own head out. I explained that I can not be a comfort to his pain from the past relationship but, a companion here and now helping eachother through ups and downs in life...He does not want to admit that I help numb the pain. I cant be with him when he can not "be" with me here and now. I can support him, be his friend and be here when he is ready for us...but, that will never happen if I don't let go for now..he must feel what it is like with out me to even know if that would truly matter. When I try to do this ..he gets so very upset and claims to not want me to and that he does care for me greatly....only when I try to let go a bit does he feel so strongly...in the relationship...he is confused and not sure what to do.Help?
2006-09-26 05:43:16 · 3 answers · asked by givemeprivacy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is trying to pull you closer to him when you pull away because he is afraid of abandonment and he needs you to help him continue in this cycle of self sorrow/pity-party he is going through. If you are asking what you should do, the only thing you can do is force yourself to pull away from him completely if you want peace inside. You obviously can't be just friends right now, and if you continue allowing things the way they are, they will continue, AND he will see just what you are willing to put up with, for future reference. Don't worry about "if only's" because if things are meant to work between you, they will, when his head is clearer. Your being there for him is confusing him and making it difficult for him to get his thoughts straight and figure out what way to go from this point on.
2006-09-26 05:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez. This guy seems a bit complicated (not really a characteristic of the male species). Go find yourself a normal guy.
2006-09-26 05:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST PRAY FOR HIM AND TELL HIM HE NEEDS TO LET GO AND LET GOD HELP HIM OUT. TELL HIM YOU WILL BE THERE FOR HIM. GOOD LUCK
2006-09-26 06:14:45 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋