Ultimate life decision for me...advice?

Question

Me and my bf are together now for 3 months. I know he cares so much for me, and I do for him. He's the sweetest thing I've ever had.
My company sent me to UK, gave me place to stay here, and is asking me now to go to the LA for more than 3 yrs. I'll be getting a position, pay raise, a house and a car from the company. I've been brought up in the States, and I love the people.
I like UK, but the weather is horrible and everything is expensive, and the job is not interesting. All I miss is my bf.
If I leave, I feel I'm going to miss something huge. Someone who might have been the one...I never felt this strong.
But if I stay in UK, I must apply for a visa, a job, a place to stay...and English isn't my first language, and I never lived abroad alone. It's going to be a huge huge risk.
I've talked to him. He was surprised. He wants me to stay, but at the same time, he says it's my decision and he'd have to respect my choice...I'm so upset.
What would you do in my situation...? Guys?

Answer 1

welcome to adulthood, sad to say it but this will either make you happy or make you nuts.

One hand - boyfriend who may or may not bethe one.


Other hand - Great Carreer opportunity with car - home and get chance to make a successful live for you.

Here is when you MUST be HONEST with yourself :

Ok now stop and look at those two - what will make you happy in the SHORT run ?

What will make you happy in the LONG run ?

If you can answer those question without Hestiation then you have made your choice.

If you speak with your boyfriend and ask him to come with you and he does - GREAT pack your bag and get ready to move , if he wishes to stay in UK and you both think that a LONG DISTANCE relationship will make you happy ok good luck and hope it works.

If he tells you good luck BUTI rather find my own dreams here , you have yet another answer. Communication here is key - you will have ot act fast or the company will give this to another person - Opportunities like this happen VERY RARELY to someone so might want to take the job and tell your boyfriend I love you but this is something I MUST DO FOR ME , sounds like he will understand .
Also sounds like he may be willing ottry the long distance relationship if he does not want to coem wiht.

Speak to him and see if he would mind that.
if not I say CHOICE the job and move to UK - Work Visa right now are allot of paperwork and takes time - you may not find a good place to live either.Jobs may be harder to fidn like thatone.Relationship will be there IF it was meent to be.So I say HELLO NEW JOB !

Answer 2

This is very delicate.

Your relationship isn't really long enough to make any huge decisions over, yet it would be a total shame to just give him up. At the same time, though it might actually freak him out a bit if you were to stay just for him. He then also may feel one of many things about you including that he now owes you something that will make him feel overburdened or that you are desperate to find a man and he can treat you however he wants because after only 3 months he has you tied enough to stay in one place.

This is really absolutly your choice. No one can say for you because they don't know how you feel for him and visa versa.

Answer 3

First thing to do is take him out of the equation - pretend he doesn't exist. Now, ask yourself if you want to go. In the paradox that you described above, it sounds as if you don't want to go, nevermind that you'll miss him, but that the job is boring and you must live alone and apply for a visa, etc. It sounds like the job is a great opportunity (to me) but if the only great factor is money, then that's not enough. Money will not make you happy and if the job is boring on top of it, then why are you even considering it? Life is too short to be unhappy.

Now concerning the guy, let's bring him back in. NEVER alter you life for a man. Because trust me, he will NEVER alter his for you. Besides, it's only been three months, that's not time enough to know if the relationship is really going somewhere. Take time to get to know him, the real him, and have fun with it. But I definitely would not let him be my sole decision making factor whether to take the job or not.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 4

My job constantly keeps me traveling so I know what you're going through. I've learned that distance is when the truth about your relationship is really revealed. If you can hold on until you can be together again then you know it was meant to be. It's good that you have to go through this at the beginning of your relationship. I see a lot of people who have been married for years and their jobs take them away for a year. Unfortunately, someone usually ends up cheating. It's good to learn in the beginning just how strong your bond really is. As for the decision of taking the new position or not....what if you don't take it and your relationship ends in a few months? Then what will you be left with?

Answer 5

Ask him if he would be willing to relocate. After only 3 months in a relationship you probably don't know that this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. So I wouldn't be making decisions that would effect the rest of my life based on this relationship. Sorry. I doubt he will be willing to make life altering decisions based on this relationship either. You can always try a long distance romance.

Answer 6

They say abscense makes the heart grow fonder not sure how long this fondness would last but Just think of this...if you stay in the UK you will always wonder of what could of been with the job offer in the US and you might eventually hold it against him. IF he is meant for you, he will be there. To be honest, I cannot really say what I would do because I have never been in that situation. But I am sure you will make whatever decision you feel comfortable with. I wish you luck and nothing but the best.

Answer 7

I would GO! 3months is a really short time to decide your life on and if its meant to be it will be. Regardless of where you live. Has he considered going with you?( You could make it work across water if you both feel this way). I think it sounds like too good an opportunity to pass up. Relationships rarely work out jobs do! Ask your heart you know the answer.

Answer 8

Well it is indeed difficult since emotions are involved, you should try asking him to come with you. But on the other hand are you ready to give up such a lucrative offer, will another one like that come along. I am sure have worked hard to get to where you are, try to put aside your feelings and take you time before you make such an important decision, there is alot to be gained and also alot to loose.

Answer 9

I will have a lash at it. Will take way more then 2 hours and will have to rearrange order of the questions And the appendix one will have to come last. Can I have bourbon instead of scotch? I have to calm the 2500 riot crazed and the Tiger with the music "The universal language" But maybe the rifle before the music.."just in case" No point in passing if your dead. The history, psychology, sociology, physics, and philosophy ...are all tied together...the story of man and the human condition And It will take me 9 months and a "willing" and fertile female helper to create human life...and no you can't watch and another 18 years or more to see how it turns out

Answer 10

Well I always tell ppl when faced with a- a or b descision to sit in a place that is quiet, take the time to close your eyes and live out each situtation in your mind, then thouroughly look at how each one makes you feel, you may get bad feelings in both situations but which one makes you feel like "this is right". there is pro's and cons for each one, but I will tell you, your heart has the right answer and that is the best way to hear it. I really hope this helps