Ok so heres my problem. Recently my amazing girlfriend of two months and I decided to discuss our past sexual history with each other. She told me that I was her forth partner and we talked about each one, not in exact detail, but just basic info. I believe she is not being truthful about one of her past boyfriends and whether they had sex or not. I came across some messages that pretty much tell me they had sex, but she says they did not.
My problem is that I dont care if she did sleep with him, but why does she not just tell me? I dont want a lie between us. She is incredible and I want to be with her but I cant get this out of my head.
I've thought that maybe she is embarrassed by thought of admitting about this one boyfriend, I dont know.....I need some opinions. Do I confront her about it....I just want to know why she lied.
Please help. How do I approach this
2006-09-26 05:07:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I appreciate all your help. I actually came across messages from him to her where they talked about how they had sex and how many times. So I know she is lying to me.
2006-09-26 06:11:31 · update #1
Again, Thanks to all of you for your opinions. This has been something that I've been back and forth on for a little while now. I know I need to just forget it and focus on our future. I understand that she doesnt have to tell me everything, but I just dont want lies between us. But I just had to ask myself if it would make a difference to me if she actually did end up telling me and the answer is NO. This girl is honestly amazing and incredible and I guess I just needed some other female insight into the situation. I appreciate your help very much.
2006-09-26 06:34:27 · update #2
just ask
2006-09-26 05:08:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't. Leave it alone. The truth is, I've been married for 14 years, and we have never felt the need to do this. It's only hurtful information and causes images in your mind that you don't want to have. She is under no obligation to tell you ANY of this. SHe let you in on whatever she felt like sharing with you. That much wasn't necessary either. You need to let this go and see if there's a future in this relationship. If not, then in the future, this probably isn't the nest topic of discussion in the future. If you marry a girl, then you might want to know the most basic info...how many, are you a virgin, etc., but beyond that, talking about them one by one is not ever a wise thing to do!!!
2006-09-26 05:12:33 · answer #2 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your only proof is messages, then I don't think you have much proof. They might have just talked a lot about having sex but not actually done it. There are relationships like that you know. If she is usually honest about everything else then why would she lie about this one. Either confront her about it, but if the messages are just sexual messages then your the one that's going to look like a fool. Or just let it go and know that you are with her now. But if this is something that is going to eat you up then you better have a conversation about it now.
2006-09-26 05:15:21 · answer #3 · answered by all_304 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop...you are creating a problem in your relationship that will eventually destroy it if you continue. You need to just believe her and accept things as they are. Anything short of that is a no win situation for you and this relationship. If you continue to not trust her and think she is lying then the relationship won't last. If you hound her till she feels forced to tell you something happened then she won't trust you and the relationship ends. You say it doesn't matter and the truth is only her and this guy know for sure what happened...you are just trying to read between the lines of a book you know nothing about.
2006-09-26 05:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who's bright idea was that? Anyway it does not matter, who you or her "might" have slept with in the past. A little "dirty talk" does not mean they had sex. It's great that after only 2 mos. you guys are baring your souls/skeletons, yet now you've convinced yourself she's lying.. not good.
For your sake, let's just say she's lying. At this early stage in your relationship, it's her right to as it is none of your business. We all put our best assets forward in the beginning of each relationship. Don't dwell on it, you might lose an amazing woman who just might not be ready to let you see her less amazing side.
2006-09-26 05:27:49 · answer #5 · answered by T S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you wanna keep her man? dont say anything let it go if you dont care, if she didnt want you to to know there is a reason so just let it go man everyone has a skelton in there closet you sayin you dont have any? well look you tell her she will get mad ask you how you knew or she will countie to lie and make you more mad so i would just let it go man trust me move on and dont think bout it and if dont work out in the end then ask her why she was lying? or somthing just to get at her you know well i would not say anything if you want to keep her now man
2006-09-26 05:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by tip 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your concern. However, the past is the past. There may be a particular reason she doesn't want to say. Might I suggest just understanding and letting it go. You are the only one she's with now and that should be all that matters. Good luck.
2006-09-26 05:10:22 · answer #7 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it. Does it *really* matter if she's amazing? Maybe she thinks you will be jealous if she says that the sex was good. What matters is that she loves you and wants to be with you. Let the past be the past.
2006-09-26 05:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by Derek K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible that she's telling the truth. Sometimes, people on fb or other social sites become enamored and write all sorts of things. If he was getting too intense, and she wasn't all that interested, or changed her mind, it would account for her blocking him if she told him to knock it off and he didn't. Don't jump to conclusions.......
2016-03-27 10:47:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try listening to Leykis. Double whatever number she gave you. Don't worry about the specifics. If you're having a problem with one of the guys in her past or she is, maybe you're rushing things.
2006-09-26 05:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by frieburger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all - all girls lie about past relationships...I dont even know why guys ask us. It is really none of your business what she has done in her past, If you are her future then that is all that really matters...
2006-09-26 05:10:04 · answer #11 · answered by JUST_ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋