I got caught shoplifting about 2 weeks ago. I go to court on Oct. 3rd. I'm very sorry for what I did and I also did it about 5 years ago and got caught. I must not be very good at it. Both times I have done it I got caught. I am Bi-Polar and I think that is most of the reason I did it. I didn't even need what I was stealing. I am always doing and saying things without thinking of the consequences. (Example: going on vacations that I cannot afford) I have discussed this with my doctor on several occasions over the past 10 years, and am taking 5 different antidepressant and anxiety medications. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!! I NEED HELP!! Should I tell my employer what trouble I am in?
2006-09-26 04:31:25 · 19 answers · asked by Alex 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I am a Manager who works in the Mental Health Field. You won't do yourself any favors bringing this information to your employer. The most your employer can/will offer is an Employee Assistance Program. Unfortunately there is a stigma in our society with people who have a mental health diagnosis, and people you work for may perceive this as something bad. Now you definitely shouldn't feel bad for being diagnosed with Bi-Polar Disorder, but you should take the proper steps make sure you are getting the proper attention and care. A primary care physician can prescribe you medications, but you would be best served by a psychiatrist or mental health clinic that can prescribe you medication but also be able to provide you with verbal therapy, which sounds like what you really need. In regards to your current legal troubles, you should make sure you find a good attorney that can assist you and look out for your best interest. Best of luck!
2006-09-26 05:15:13 · answer #1 · answered by hitbypitch1919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ethically, yes, you need to tell your boss. I don't know what state you live in, but many states will give you jail time for a second conviction, and it would be nice for your boss to be forewarned that it is a possibility. Most employers will not fire you for being upfront and honest - if they don't faint from the shock that someone actually IS upfront and honest! From my experience with my husband, who is also bipolar, I can say that you need to work on your self control a bit. I know it's hard! That's why it's such a good feeling when you succeed. Also from my husband's experience, I wonder about the 5 different meds - that seems like too many - and a real chance of inter-reactions from them. Are they prescribed all by the same doctor? Sounds like you need to talk to the doctor and remind him/her about your list of scripts. Ask if there is some way to cut this down a bit. If it's several doctors, make a list of what you're taking and show it to them. A lot of these meds don't mix well with other meds! That's experience again. My husband got so disoriented once, he was on his way 'home' and called me from miles away wanting to know how to get home! He was trying to go back to a home he'd lived years before! When they rearranged his meds, this quit happening. But, above all, don't just quit taking things! Ask the doctor! Good luck, friend.
2006-09-26 11:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, don't tell. As long as you're not stealing from your employer do not tell. Keep your job.
As for the rest.....there's only so much you can put on being bi-polar. I know several clinically diagnosed bi-polar people who do not engage in illegal behavior and I know a few who do but who are largely self-destructive. The thing is, at the time you're doing it, you know you're doing something wrong. Your compulsion to steal is not logic based but it's not rooted in your bi-polarity either. Try this exercise: When you feel compelled to do something or say something that is definitely harmful to you or others, tell yourself, "I can do this or say this but I choose not to". And simply move past it. Feel how much it strengthens you and how good doing the right thing feels. Just because we can do things, and just because a psychological disorder exists that can be the crutch for these things, doesn't mean we SHOULD do these things. Where your actions can be self-moderated, you need to take responsibility for the choices you make and the fallout.
For now, don't tell your employer. Work on your relationship to responsible behavior, to what it means to care for yourself enough to not do those things that could potentially harm you.
2006-09-26 11:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by badasslilnici 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your employer does not know you are bi-polar, you do not even need to tell them as long as you are performing well at your job. You should only tell them about your condition if you sense your manager is becoming unhappy with your performance. You could then bring it up during a performance review. Otherwise, your employer has no need to know.
Same goes with the shoplifting. Everyone has made a mistake or two in their life. Your employer does not need to know since it has nothing to do with your job, your company, or your current situation. When you go to court, just ask for time off. You don't need to explain your time off, either. If asked, you can say something that is consistent with your character or interests such as your parents are coming into town and you promised them you'd take them camping, etc.
2006-09-26 11:46:33 · answer #4 · answered by Jazz In 10-Forward 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would definitely tell my employer about going to court because you will probably miss work for the appearance. And what if they keep you? You definitely won't be back to work then. Your employer needs to know. It is amazing what support they can give you when they see that you are concerned about your job and them.
But the real problem is your Bipolar and the apparent inability to make good judgments. It is basically up to the individual to do what is right and decent. You were probably taught this early on and then at some point came to the conclusion that it is more profitable to ________________(fill in the blank). Wrong! Look at what has happened. Ultimately, you must control yourself or go to jail, loose everyone that is close to you and have an awful life. It is up to you.
2006-09-26 11:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by Bibi B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave your employer out of this and change doctors. Someone fresh might be better able to help you. You're not progressing as well as you are capeable of. There is more ground to be gained and keep trying until you get a doctor who can really help you. A different regime of medications might be in order.The best of success to you and God speed.
2006-09-26 11:37:37 · answer #6 · answered by irisheyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not tell your employer. You will be blamed for everything that goes wrong at work. I suggest that you seek out a different doctor if you have been treated for 10 years and it is still this much of a problem.
2006-09-26 11:34:57 · answer #7 · answered by Chloe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would find a counselor or doctor to talk with instead. Your employer may seem sympathetic to your plight at first, but that information will go in your employee file. People love to label people. Don't give them that chance.
2006-09-26 13:50:37 · answer #8 · answered by danaluana 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At least you admitted it and know it is wrong....I wouldn't go telling anyone because the first time someone else decides to be a rip off...the eyes are always gonna be on you...so pray on it and ask God to help you stop this potentially incarcerating habit..Good luck..
2006-09-26 13:23:24 · answer #9 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not share this information with your employer. It's a sure fire way to get fired. Keep it to yourself. This is pretty confidential information. What I do recommend is get yourself to a mental health professional and get connected with people who have the same types of anxieties and problems. Believe me they are out there - you're very brave to share the information with us. I wish you well.
2006-09-26 11:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by MillwoodsGal 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋