We have been together for 2 years, and have lived together for 6 months. She has 'owned' this dog for 4 years (a very fat Boxer/Beagle mix - 70 pounds). I have a cat that she bought for me as a Christmas present last year (not at my request). My current apartment doesn't allow dogs, so her dog has been living with her parents for 6 months. Even before she lived with me, she had to take her dog to her parents for weeks at at a time to go on trips, work, or come visit me in my neighboring city. Now her parents are moving out of thier house and into a townhouse (renting) that doesn't allow pets. To accomodate this dog, we have to move into an apartment that allows them.
I DO NOT like dogs. The smell, mess, noise, work....nothing about a dog pleases me. Make me sneeze and itch too. I know I am really going to hate living with this dog. Don't want to resent my GF over this, b/c I really love her.
Her aunt would love to take the dog (has land) GF won't part with the dog.
2006-09-26 04:09:43 · 41 answers · asked by wvukid21 2 in Pets ➔ Dogs
You knew she had this dog before you, you need to take allergy medication to deal with it or you need to get out now. Dogs can be very pleasent to live with, grumpy people are not. Try to understand this dog means a lot to her and if you really love her then you'll work it out.
2006-09-26 04:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by Theresa P 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your girl loves you, she will give up that dog for you. The worst that can come out of being honest with her is she can say "no." Just let her know the facts (but sugar coat it a little bit): you are allergic to dogs. They make your nose run, give you itchy, watery eyes, and their dander makes you itch. Also, with as busy as the two of you are, you are not going to have the time to be the loving pet owners that you want to be. Then help her find a friend that wants a new dog and you can visit him on the weekends or whenever. Why is she hell-bent on keeping the dog when she really hasn't had it anyway in the past six months? That dog would flourish, and maybe lose some weight, if he had land to play on all of the time.
I wouldn't flat-out say you hate dogs. Us women are vindictive and do things to get our way, so she may become resentful that you "hate" the dog and insist on keeping it. If you make it seem like you like, or even tolerate, the dog, and are sad to see it go also, this will give her 1. a chance to bond with you over the "loss" of her pet and 2. give you points for being an animal-lover.
And yes, she could make sure you get some allergy medicine, but that OTC stuff only lasts for so long and the fact of the matter is that there is going to be dog hair everywhere!
2006-09-26 04:25:04 · answer #2 · answered by Summer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can try to talk your gf into letting her aunt adopt the dog. If that is not acceptable to her, then you have a decision to make. Keep in mind that this could put your whole relationship on the line.
If you decide to get the apartment and live with gf and dog you will have to try to learn to accept the dog- even like him. If she had a child you couldn't say - "I don't like kids". You would need to either end the relationship or learn to like the child as if he or she were your own. While some may balk at the comparison, to your gf it's not that different.
In the spirit of compromise your gf should take care of the dog. Try to iron this all out beforehand. She does the feeding, watering, and cleaning up after. If possible she pays for food and vet bills. Agree on where the dog will sleep. If you are allergic you may need to address that issue with a doc. The dog you describe may not shed much so maybe you will be ok.
Then try to play with the dog a few minutes every day. Take him for short walks. A dog that size needs a lot of exercise- especally if he is overweight. Throw a ball around. Maybe even take him to a rewards based obedience class. Do it for your relationship. If you put the effort in here you will be blessed in heaven and by your gf.
Another idea is couples counseling.
Best of luck and let us know what happens.
2006-09-26 04:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by peggy j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest a few things:
First let your girlfriend know exactly how you feel in a rational and kind manner. Also let her know that you do love her very much and let her know that you understand the dog is important to her.
Secondly set ground rules. For example if the dog makes you have allergy attacks the first rule should be- no dog on furniture what so ever. Second rule should be something like- dog not allowed in X places (like kitchen and bedrooms).
Thirdly set up responsibilities that work for both of you- She should be responsible for letting the dog in and out and taking it to the vet.
Fourth- Do try to make an effort to atleast co-exist with the dog. If you get frustrated about certain things try to talk it out before they get to be huge issues or else resentment will grow.
Also consider how old the dog is? Most medium dogs that are overweight have shorter life spans. Sounds like this dog probably won't live much past 10 years.
Also one last suggestion- Make it clear to her where you stand with pets. Are some okay (cats?) or none preferred? If you guys are clear on this from the beginning perhaps it will head off the "Oh look was I brought home from the pound-isn't it cute?" suprises later...
2006-09-26 04:24:34 · answer #4 · answered by Killa R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry man, but she's had the dog longer then she's had you. I would lay odds the dog will win if she has to choose between you two. If you want this to work with your GF,Then you are going to have to learn to live with this dog. Talk about the ground rules regarding keeping the dog groomed,and the pet mess cleaned in the house. Get the dog on Advantage or Frontline if they aren't already,so you don't have to worry about fleas. Establish who is responsible for doing what dog related chores. Other than that, suck it up. You might find living with a dog isn't that bad. I have 2 BIG dogs and yeah they can make a real mess, and if they don't get a bath on time they get smelly, but they are always happy to see me. People who have dogs tend to be less stressed out and thinner (the walks are good for both of you).
2006-09-26 06:27:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jamie A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be fair for you to even ask her to part with her pet. That will only create more animosity later.
If the two of you truly love each other get engaged and buy a house where there will be more space that you won't have to see the dog as much. Im sure if you can compromise to sharing a bigger place with the dog she should compromise to certain areas being off limits to the dog.
I do have a friend whos husband really doesn't like dogs and when they got married there was only one old mutt terrier. Now she is up to four (one a pit) her mom and dad are up to six and he is just floored by the thought of us wanting to rescue dogs. They have compromised that dogs are crated at anytime she is not home and its not his responsibility in anyway to take care of the dogs. They did it you guys can do it.
2006-09-26 04:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you make all this clear to your girlfriend if you haven't already. Especially the part about the dog making you sneeze and itch. Obviously you are allergic to the dog. If she loves you she will give the dog to her aunt. It sounds like that would be a better home for the dog anyway since her aunt wants the dog and has land for the dog to run around, etc. Good Luck
2006-09-26 04:30:41 · answer #7 · answered by Kim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of you is going to have to compromise. This dog has been a part of the g/f life longer than you have been. Dog people really love their dogs. They are part of our family. Boyfriends come and go, but a pet should be a pet for life. Unless you are planning on marrying the g/f, I would not make her choose between you and the dog. You may come out the loser. Maybe if you got a house with a yard and the dog could be outside a lot, it would be a good solution for everyone concerened.
2006-09-26 04:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A dog is like family, at least for some people, I lost a girlfriend because she forced me to decide between her and my dog, and it's not that I love the dog more than her. It's the lack of understanding to even bring that issue, I decided to keep my dog because she thought she was the center of the universe and my dog was like furniture. You see and "feel" the dog as a nuisance, because you are not a pet person, at this point you have to decide how important is for you to make your girlfriend happy about the issue, if you want to please her then you have to put up with the dog, if you are more concern about yourself then wait, dogs just live about 12 years average, or you can make your best effort with the dog and honestly show how bad the dog affects you, maybe your girlfriend would change her mind and send the dog with her aunt, whatever you do, don't you ever force her to decide between the dog and you!!! we hate that!!!!
2006-09-26 04:31:49 · answer #9 · answered by elcabula2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are a lot about compromise. I definitly understand your problem though I married a man a few yrs ago that just had to have a dog, I never had before one before he is a pit bull/lab mix (huge). We got Boone when he was 3 wks old, he's a part of the family now I can't imagine life without him (he's 2 now). I say give it n honest chance, have an open mind...she really loves this dog, not that she doesn't love you but face it, the dog was before you. The only way you could insist she get rid of the dog is if you're allergic to it. otherwise I think you're going to have to put her first. you might be surprised how you react when all is said and done
2006-09-26 04:18:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well your girlfriend really loves animals. You should be honest with her though, and tell her that you do not exactly share her like for dogs the same way.
Then you two have a good chat about the dog. Either give yourself more time to get along with the dog, or let a close neighbour adopt the dog, so that your girlfriend can visit the dog whenever she likes.
2006-09-26 04:20:14 · answer #11 · answered by lkraie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋