I have 3 kids and I want each of them to have a special part in the ceremony. What are some good ideas for a 14 year old girl, 10 year old boy and 2 year old boy? Also, hopefully his kids can join us, and they are an 8 year old boy and 5 year old girl. Did/will your hubby do something special to include them in the vows?
2006-09-26 03:52:38 · 13 answers · asked by mixedchick4blkguys 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well in mine, my oldest will be one of my bridesmaids (junior), my son is walking me down the aisle and my youngest is the ring bearer. I am not sure yet how we are going to add them in the vows- but that is sure a great idea!!!
2006-09-26 03:54:46 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since between you two you have 5 kids of different ages, it may be hard to give each a role (bridesmaid, ringbearer, etc) and supervise them in that role. Also, some of the kids may feel left out, so why not try for something that includes all the kids equally?
At a very beautiful ceremony I attended, after the bride/groom said their vows (but before exchanging rings) the kids (who had been standing to the side, but also could as easily have been seated in the front row) joined the bride and groom and all formed a circle. The minister said a few words about the importance of families and how the bride loved her family and the groom loved his family and how the entire family was going to be united and strengthened through one loving bond. Then the groom told the bride's kids that he loved them and was now claiming them as his own. He placed a locket around each one's kneck. The bride said and did the same for his kids. Finally, with the kids still there, the bride and groom exchanged rings as the symbol of the ultimate bond of their families and kissed.
The whole thing went over wonderfully, and the kids still mention how they felt really loved and part of a new family, not that they were losing a parent or being forgotten about. Defintely talk with the kids (at least the older ones) for their ideas. Especially your 14 year old, this time can be very special between the two of you. Finally, I would not recommend lighting candles around the little ones, too much could just go badly with that.
Good luck and congratulations to you all!
2006-09-26 11:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom made all her daughters and my step dad daughters the bridesmaids as the boys were groomsmen/ring bears etc.
My mom had a "western" type wedding. It was beautiful dresses and nice cowboy shirts/vests etc.
Now, I have been to a few that did the bridesmaids, flower girls and traditional ring bears. Even if it was more than one or so.
I know some of them gave them special duties like helping set up, walking down with the bride or groom (escorting), head activities leader on starting games or explaing them, giving a little one to two minute speech of their special thoughts/feelings before vows being taken place. One wedding I went to was at the reception, the 4 kids got up (ages l think 5-7-10-13) and did a little peom they wrote. Each one said a sentence and it was hilarious how they came up with it. "Mom, dad, I know I can be a pain" "A brat and sometimes drive you insane" "but I want you to know we love you" "You are the best mom" "You are the best dad" "Even when you fart" "or even when you get mad". I am trying to remember the rest. It was awhile back. It was something fun, different and unique. A little personal on some of the words, but it was an expressment of their feelings since they are involved.
I have no children nor my fiance. Never married or so either. However, we have ALOT of nieces and nephews and a few are able to come to our destinational wedding. We want to include them as well. Pretty much him and I are being creative on that part by everything I listed above. We having in hawaii so, very hawaiian themed and not as tradional. So, I hope I helped at least a little bit.
Congrats and good luck.
2006-09-27 03:18:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just put them in the wedding party and call them all "young attendants". Have them wear flower girl and junior bridesmaid dresses, etc, but give them all the same title.
It is not a good idea to exchange vows with children. Children do not get married! You are marrying each other, not the kids. It's a completely different sentiment to be a spouse than to be a stepparent.
If it is a religious wedding, maybe after the vows, it would be nice to have officiant do some sort of blended-family blessing. But no vows to children, please. It's an emotionally tumultuous time enough, for them. Think about it.
2006-09-26 17:37:16 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My friend got got married last summer and she had 3 boys from a previous marriage. Now, they were the only ones up there.... no bridesmaids or groomsmen, just them. The thing that they did that I absolutely loved is that they ALL lit the unity candle together because they were uniting as one family.... I'm getting teary-eyed thinking about it. The minister said something about the unity candle and how it signifies not only the unifying of them as husband and wife, but as parents with a blended family. I really liked that a lot. You're sure to get tears.
Oh, and miss lady above who said marriage is not between children is absolutely jaded. Those kids are going to have to live with that man as their step father for the rest of their lives (God willing) and you as a step mother to his kids. You are esentially marrying his kids also! Even though they won't have say in the relationship, if you give those kids a positive, loving vibe from the get-go, that will instill such good memories and make those kids feel like they had something to do with this marriage and feel like valid members of their new family.
Although marriage is a bond between two people, it is also unifying the bond between the family that couple creates... even if it is blending two current families or starting a family anew.
I bet your wedding will be lovely no matter what! Have fun! And best of luck to you! :)
2006-09-26 11:03:06 · answer #5 · answered by Summer 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I believe it's psychologically REALLY important to have a wedding ceremony including the kids because not only are you getting married to the guy but you are formally starting a family unit. Eighteen years ago my husband married me and this included three children. We all got dressed up and the girls were my bridemaids and my son was the ringbearer. My oldest daughter who was 11 at the time asked to speak vows that represented her and her brother and sister that basically said, "Welcome to the family, we're happy you are here and we want to do all we can to support you..." I think it was important that we all were in the act of accepting him into our family. He once told me that he would never make me make a choice between him or the kids because he knew he would lose every time. And that was one of the reasons that he loved me so much. I'm really grateful that he has that attitude. The kids got a close in view of my husband and I taking our vows and I think that was really important to them.
You don't have to be traditional in anything you do in your ceremony - make it work for you and give everyone a place. You can introduce your new family unit to the congregation, you can do any number of symbolic "joining" of the group.
It's really hard to do all this blending - it's hard on everyone but if you dont' have undue expectations you can make it.
Good luck to you!!
2006-09-26 11:36:26 · answer #6 · answered by MissHazel 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hope this will help. When my husband and I married ( he had a daughter 5 and I had no children) She was our flower girl (probably not helpful for the older kids) but here is the part you want to pay attention to after we said our vows I said my vows to her. It went something like I promise to be there for you and to have you for my own. She is now 18 and my vow holds strong. I married her and my husband and it was perfect.
2006-09-26 10:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by rollerbabe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Use the sand ceremony!
Instead of a unity candle, have a large empty vase. Around the vase, have smaller containers filled with sand (preferably different colored). Have as many small containers as there are people in your new family. Instead of having you and your groom go light the candle, have everyone go up to the table and pour the sand from the smaller containers into the large one. The sand will blend together like your new family will blend, and it looks really cool if there are different colors.
2006-09-26 11:56:56 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have the 14, 10, and 8 be brides maids and grooms men, and have the 5 and 2 be flowergirl and ringbear!
2006-09-26 10:56:22 · answer #9 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are getting married in 8 months and between us we have 7 children and we are making all of them part of the wedding.The 3 oldest girls are bride maids,oldest boy is a grooms men,youngest girl is the flower girl,the youngest boy and the middle girl will seat guest. They are all very excited about what they will be doing.
2006-09-26 11:21:21 · answer #10 · answered by shortcakes_maple 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋