a have a very serious problem.it haunts me u know.actually i think im such a bad conversationalist..i can"t express my feelings towards something.like i want to say or tell stories and tell my feelings especially to my friends but i ended up can"t say it.u see,i think im not a good enough person to talk to,i ca't crack jokes,im not a fun person,can't tell stories.a conversation to me is the ability of one another to express what they want to say but...i cant express it!my friends start not to respect me cuz i seldom talk.i dont have anything to talk.yeah,thats what i mean.i cant keep the conversation on..i really dont get it.i try to do everything to be a good conversationalist,but it didnt work!i think the reason for my prolem is because when i was a child,like when i was 13 n untill now,18,i dont hang out with peer groups.i keep studying every second.i treid to tell this prob to my mom,my friends but it didnt seem to work.they dont understand cuz they are not me.pliz help me....
2006-09-26 03:49:49 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Have you considered the possibility that you and your friends are merely growing apart? They may have topics of conversation that you really don't share. They may be making statements that you feel are quite different from your feelings, and feel that if you were to enter into the conversation you would be thought of as not cool, or even judgmental. It happens often as we get older. A young teen may talk of this guy or that girl, but as the later teens approach, they find this immature and topics change. That's just one example, there are thousands more.
I am concerned about your feelings of unworthiness. Sometimes silence is used as a method of withdrawal in depression. I would talk to a Dr. about this possibility. In the meantime just look in the mirror, you have to live with you, not anyone else. Changing yourself to meet others expectations is a good way to destroy yourself. If you like you, the rest doesn't much matter.
You may want to change some of your activities. Instead of hanging with old friends, take up activities that pertain to your interests. You may find you are a brilliant conversationalist, you simply needed to find someone else that could discuss subjects that are of mutual interest.
2006-09-26 04:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by Greg I 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me start by saying not everyone is funny and witty, but it is very hard for you to realate to people your own age if you do not hang out with people your own age. It is very important to socailize. I know women in their 30's that still cant keep friends( but thats mainly because they are always offending others and very vain and self absorbed) You need to be out inthe world. I mean when I think about what I talk about at parties, it's movies music, my crazy family, work, TV, books the world! and then things just go from there. Now a bad conversationalist responses with one word answers...no opinion...or too serious, think about funny things you heard...then maybe try to use them. You may just need to boost your confidence! and not be so worried about this. Like I said socialize it s the only way you can learn to realte to other people.
Good luck. :)
2006-09-26 04:05:29 · answer #2 · answered by dancemikey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good conversationalist listens to others and responds to them. Try that first, just responding to what you hear others say.
While you are trying that, consider taking a public speaking class to boost your confidence. The teacher can provide coaching for you in a safe environment, and can teach you how to relax a little bit when you are in front of people.
2006-09-26 03:57:03 · answer #3 · answered by Buffy Summers 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have had similar problems especially as i was working my way through college. my theory on this is the selection of members for my peer group. how is a person how spends most of their time in a book going to relate to someone who is incapable of that level of study? they can't. everyone's mind works differently. the problem i had with conversation is over thinking my statements and responses.
think of it this way. the only one who knows how you feel emotionally or what you think about a certain subject is you. take pride in that. you may have a greater level of understanding on a than your friends even know. it can be difficult at the outset to explain verbally how you feel or think but if you continue to try, it will become easier.
Take pride in yourself, your opinions and your emotions or no one else will.
2006-09-26 04:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by yonitan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best conversationalists ask other people questions about themselves. For example, "What are you studying/", "What kinds of music do you like"?-You know, whatever is important to your peer group is another way of coming up with questions to ask someone.
The hardest part of being a good conversationalist is learning to listen.
2006-09-26 04:05:41 · answer #5 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, why is this haunting you? go easy on yourself. do your best to tell stories and to express your feelings and that is all you can do. you will get better at conversations. you have a great mind! for five years you have been studying. tell people what you know!
2006-09-26 03:53:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.dbsalliance.org
Get 1 on 1 counselling! Your Mom should have caught this! But quiet people's problems go unsolved. Make some noise!!
http://www.toastmasters.org/
This organization's purpose is to help people like you!!!
Learn to growl!! GRRRRrrrrrr!!!
Tell me how you do!!!
2006-09-26 03:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it may be social anxiety... maybe you should speak with a doctor about it... i believe paxil is a perscription drug for this issue... although i would not recommend taking medicine unless you truely needed it
2006-09-26 03:58:24 · answer #8 · answered by Mets00 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude get hooked up with some weed or alcohol it will seriously help alot and is hella fun
2006-09-26 04:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
write to "Dear Abby" and ask for her "Popularity book"
2006-09-26 04:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋