Hi all i'm currently the mother of what many would consider a large family ( 4 kids) and recently found out that i'm preggers again. Ive been sooo perplexed b/c this new baby was not planned and will completely throw our home life out of sync. This being said, you should note that both my husband and I have nice jobs, are not on any assistance, and i currently am in a doctorate program. In addition, my oldest 2 are in private christian school, and the youngest 2 are watched by the grandparents, who have told us no more childern will be watched. (the youngest is only 9 months). Just wanted to gauge public opinion and see how many felt I should go forward with this pregnancy or keep my family at status quo.
2006-09-26 03:42:29 · 21 answers · asked by tamaya_22 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Also let me add this... Hubby and I found out that we were preggers 1 week after he got a vesectomy. irony huh? we both were practicing bc methods... I was on the Depo shot and had some complications...Dr's said I was still o.k and protected. Guess not. Just wanted to add that info. Hubby is he is o.k either way although he got snipped so we wouldnt have any more. Guess this last one just slipped in.
2006-09-26 03:57:58 · update #1
One more thought... I am not a freaking breeder. Dogs and cats breed ...not humans. All of our childern are loved and well provided for. Thus the reason hubby and I have jobs and advanced degrees. (sorry I just wanted to respond to one of the post below).
2006-09-26 04:03:34 · update #2
You say you are Christian, then why would you be questioning total strangers. Look in your heart and talk to God about it. Could you really end this pregnancy???
We ended a pregnancy because we thought that we couldn't handle a handicapped child (financially or emotionally). We have both regretted it ever since. I have since become a Christian. See this baby as a blessing from God, and be careful from now on about your protection!!!
2006-09-26 03:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by finding_my_dream 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Keep the blessing. You'll work it out somehow. Much like y ou developed a new routine after each child was born.When the bundle of joy arrives, I'm sure you will feel different. You are speculating something that hasnt happened yet. You may actually be thinking up worst case scenarios than concentrating on the blessings this child will/can bring. If you start being negative about it now, you will likely be negative througout the child's life. Just let it happen it will all work out in the end. And if you relaly want to stop the status quo....get your husband a vasectomy or you get your tubes tied. Its a sure way to stop production.
2006-09-26 10:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by Clock Watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No judgement!
I have been pregnant 6 times total including this one. and have three children, the other two pregnancys I lost. I completely understand, it's not first time mommy jitters, it'show to balance things out and let people see and know how things are going to be, and have acceptance.
Clearly God wanted you to have this child. Hands down!
I am a stay at home mommy, and my husband is an excellant provider. Have you thought of putting your job on hold when the baby comes?
Here's what we do to cut cost.
I purchased a used van, great condition, no car payments. I have no fault, mny only destination is to the grocery store,and school.
I clip coupons, and very efficiant w/utilities.
I save every way poosible. If something is on sale, or I see close out prices, even on clothing, I purchasen them, even if its not a product we typically use. (ex. I bought dish soap for.35 cents a bottle. needless to say, I went to every drug store in town because it was a close out price, and $10 spent, I will never buy dish soap for years to come. ) this is w/everything.
You can apply for low cost school lunches, hey if you qualify, why not? You put into the system,
and how about charter schools. free tution, and still smaller sized classrooms?
2006-09-26 12:01:11 · answer #3 · answered by Make u 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What child doesn't throw the family out of synch? Can you afford a nanny? How does hubby feel? If the only concern is who will watch this child, enroll this one in day care. After 3 kids, it's not much different and the older ones help out with the younger ones. Don't let the grandparents dictate the size of your family. It is your responsibility, taking care of the children is up to you and your husband. It is nice when grandparents help, but ultimately it is up to you both!
2006-09-26 10:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by Kim S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do the grandparents know the situation? If they are aware that their saying 'no more kids' is a deciding factor then they may change their minds! I know my MIL claims she didnt want any more grandkids she went nuts when our last was born and is the head-over-heels gramma now.
I have 4 and I noticed that having the 4th threw us into a new level (suddenly needed a van and another bedroom). I dont think 5 would be so different than 4!
2006-09-26 10:48:56 · answer #5 · answered by lindsay74 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so, are you saying you may want to terminate this pregnancy or give it up for adoption? personally, i think you should go forward w/ this pregnancy. remember birth control is not 100% fool proof. things do happen and for a reason. children are a gift from God and should be treated as so. in my opinion your reasoning is off and a little selfish. you should be able to adapt. you do have four children already. love that upcoming child as you would the other four. and if grandparents won't watch anymore children then find someone else who is more capable of handling more than four children. well, you asked for opinions. sorry if i upset you. just remember to pray long and hard about your decision. you will have to live w/ that decision for the rest of your life.
2006-09-26 11:19:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps if the grandparents are feeling overwhelmed, it's time to get a full time/part time nanny to help out with your youngest children and the newest addition. From your quesiton, it seems that you are Christian, I thought Christianity was anti-abortion? I think you have a lot of love and appear that you can handle this next baby and provide it with all the love and things he or she needs. I say go for it! :) Good luck to you and yours.
2006-09-26 11:18:12 · answer #7 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe in abortion if this is what are talking about. My thoughts are if the baby wasn't meant to be here than it wouldn't be coming. I had four children also but if had found out there would be a fifth I would go through with it. I never had any grandparents to rely on.
2006-09-26 10:49:11 · answer #8 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How sad that you may choose to abort. Look at this child as a blessing and after it is born then get your tubes tied. That way you will know for sure your family is complete. I have four children as well and they are a blessing - no doubt. Try and look at the positive side of this child and start looking into alternate daycare. Congratulations.
2006-09-26 10:48:38 · answer #9 · answered by Hebrews 11 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't apologise for saying that life comes before good jobs and nice schools. Look at your children and imagine a 5th just like them. Can you honestly say you don't want that child that is already growing in you,because it would "mess up" your life-style?My parents did'nt have money,but they kept 7 of us fed,clothed, and most important - loved.it just seems that a new life is'nt of any importance,these days. I think you're hoping everyone will tell you to terminate,and everything will be as it were in your world.
2006-09-26 10:55:18 · answer #10 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋