i actually a quiet guy but i have no problems communicating if there is a big group. but in one-on-one situations with girls (my friends) i tend to get very nervous and can't think of anything to talk about. what can i do? any tips?
2006-09-26 03:29:42 · 10 answers · asked by Duh! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is OK to not have anything to talk about at the moment. Be comfortable with brief moments of silence. While you are relaxed, something will come to you. You can always ask a girl about her day. That usually gets her talking. Also, pay attention to what she says and ask follow up questions.
You seem to be taking it personally when other people do not react to you in the way that you expect them to. Learn how to stop doing that (taking it personally), and you will have solved your problem (it worked for me).
First of all, how people react to you probably has more to do with them, and the kind of day that they were having so far, than it does with you.
By the way, if you seem needy, overly shy, too awkward, or too nervous around people, then they will feel hesitant about speaking to you because they will feel like you are a person who is easily offended, and they will feel nervous talking to you. Approach people with a self-confident smile that implies that you already know that they will like you, and it becomes a self-fulling prophecy since your positive attitude will be catching. Make sure that you make consistent eye contact, because that implies interest in the other person (always flattering), and it implies self-confidence (the opposite of fearful & needy).
2006-09-26 03:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always focus on the other person. If you stay busy being genuinely concerned about her life, her problems, etc. not only will you have plenty to talk about but you will also take the emphasis off yourself and not be so self-conscious. Wait to talk about yourself until she asks you, then simply answer her.
When you have nothing to talk about, ask her what she thinks about something (perhaps from pop culture, or a teacher, or something going on in the world). Girls will definitely notice this because it shows you care about their opinions. If you don't have an opinion yourself, that's ok, just say I'm not sure what I think yet, I wanted your insight, etc.
One way to get good at one-on-one situations is to practice with people that you don't get nervous with or have no interest in. For example, if you are talking to a relative or a salesperson, notice how the conservation flows and how you act and feel. Do this enough and it will become second nature. Lots of people have the opposite problem with public speaking--the best solution is to do it enough so you get used to it. For you, keep having one-on-one conversations to get to the level you want. Then you will be confident with girls.
Finally, if you are talking to a true friend or a nice girl, they won't mind if you are nervous, and they will try to help you out and make you more comfortable. If they don't, maybe you should reconsider what you think about them.
2006-09-26 10:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by Jessica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem too. I believe being able to communicate better requires some form of training. On normal conversations like within a group, try speaking up more often. Be thick-skined, when you get the hang of speaking with confidence, you should be able to carry this confidence when chatting one on one with girls.
2006-09-27 02:44:28 · answer #3 · answered by axix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about things you like. Being a geek myself I had a hard time meeting women because I would fumble around conversations trying to talk about stuff I had no interest for. Then I realized that if I was going to meet someone that liked me I would have to let the real me come out. So I would talk about politics, Sci Fi, photography blah blah blah but I ended up meeting women that either shared my interest or were happy to be with someone that was comfortable with himself.
I ended up marrying a woman that doesn’t care much for Sci Fi but respects my liking of anything Sci Fi.
2006-09-26 10:37:41 · answer #4 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not change, be yourself some women love quiet guys
2006-09-26 10:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by seilygirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking about what you just told us. you will be surprised at how many will be willing to help bring you out of your shell.
2006-09-26 10:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea, u should try to speak out. that's the only way to overcome this
2006-09-26 10:32:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
current events.
2006-09-26 10:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so tell me about yourself ? that should help best of luck
2006-09-26 10:33:09 · answer #9 · answered by playful 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha.....
2006-09-26 10:37:49 · answer #10 · answered by otteri selvakumar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋