A large church group (it will be women and men) asked me to give a twenty-minute talk...sharing my experience with my mental illness. (I'm bipolar, but it will be on mental health in general.) Obviously it can't be insulting, but needs to help focus them on the important things I want to share, following the opening. I just want to relax them up a bit ... help get past some of the outdated stigmas associated with mental illness.
Any other tips or thoughts on this???
2006-09-26 02:47:00 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.
Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
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I like the second one the best. It is important that we learn to laugh, and good for you that you want to open a serious talk with a joke.
I hope it goes well for you.
2006-09-26 02:54:35 · answer #1 · answered by pipi08_2000 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
there was one i read but i can't quote it word for word......its about someone was visiting someone at a mental hospital and they heard from one of the rooms a patient repeating "13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 13 as they passed by.....so they became curious and went to the little window on the patients' door and peered in.....and as he did this the patient went..."14 14 14 14 14 14...i thought it was funny
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
2006-09-26 09:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man was driving down the road, when he got a flat tire right in front of a mental institution. After he jacked up the car and removed the tire, he carelessly dropped all of the lug nuts into a sewer drain.
"Oh my goodness! Now what am I going to do?" he moaned.
What he didn't notice was one of the patients of the instituion was watching from behind a railed fence.
"Why don't you take one lug nut from each of the other tires?" suggested the mental patient.
The man on the street beamed. "Why, that's a great idea! If you can think of things like that, why are you in a mental institution?"
"Well," the patient replied, "I'm here because I'm crazy, not because I'm stupid"
2006-09-26 02:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by Brain_scurvey 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A "comic tale" may no longer be the finished activities. it ought to alienate your audience because psychological ailment is misunderstood and there continues to be a stigma connected to it. As Jesus healed lepers, the blind, and many different actual ailments, He can help with an ailment contained in the right. between the disciples turned right into a well being practitioner, so drugs is respected.
2016-12-02 02:27:33 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guy goes to a doctor--doc says i have bad news and worse news--guy says whats the bad news--doc says im afraid you have cancer--guy says whats the worse news--doc says you also have alzhiemers disease-- guy says whew! at least i dont have cancer( maybe use arthritis for cancer in front of a church group or ssome other less horrendous disease)
i went to my psych and told him " doc, i'm having trouble sleeping - one night i dream that im a wigwam, the next night i dream im a teepee, all week long its wigwam teepee wigwam teepee" doc says relax youre too tense(two tents)
2006-09-27 13:06:30 · answer #5 · answered by mkodaddy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear about the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac? he was up all night wondering if there was a dog or not.
Boom boom tish.
2006-09-26 02:50:34 · answer #6 · answered by ezydriver 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋