Say, You have confronted this person, given this person more chances then you should have, but they say they want to change but keep on being the same way. You have accepted that they will never change, they are just mentally ill and there is nothing you can do.. But the emotional scars this person left was at such a young age that you have grown as habit to believe and accept as truth. And no matter what you do this pain still persists and ppl all around turn into this parent and patronize you (in personality and actions)not literally, duh.
How do you get over this even when you understand the entire thing?
Please no religious oriented answers.
2006-09-26 02:43:45 · 11 answers · asked by Holly G 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
SORRY I AM STRESSED TODAY. LOL
2006-09-26 02:46:53 · update #1
PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS TOO TOO SERRIOUSLY.. IM JUST STRESSED TODAY. JUST HAVE A GOOD LAUGH AT ME SPAZING OUT. LOL
2006-09-26 02:48:31 · update #2
You should forgive everyone that made you feel bad .Cause forgiving others means forgiving yourself .It will be good for your mental health . You won't blame anyone and yourself after forgiving people that hurt you.Take care.I advise you to read Louise Hay 's the power of positively thinking or something like that .Take care.
2006-09-26 03:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by xeibeg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive but never forget. Obviously the person will not change and lies to you about it - nothing you can personally do to change that. Move on. People that patronize are most likely being sympathetic, don't really understand, and do not have all the facts. They mean well.
Your job is to recognize the wrong (which you have), realize that the person will never change (quit trying), never forget what happened, and never put yourself in an environment where repitetion could happen.
The only way to, "...get over this", is to realize you cannot change the past and to not let the past be an anchor to your future.
2006-09-26 02:53:55 · answer #2 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on the truth of right NOW. You sound as if you have empowered yourself to do what you can. And further you sound as if you have accepted that which you can't change. At this point it is up to you how you choose to move forward. Either you will lug the baggage around or you will set it aside and move freely.
If one ceases judging one no longer needs to forgive. If you feel the need to forgive it means you are judging someone. When we look at the judgement within us then we can truly deal with the problem as it affects us.
I'm sorry you have had a difficult road with this. Life isn't fair. Only the way we deal with it makes it a happy and contented one or not. Bless you.
2006-09-26 02:54:15 · answer #3 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dads like that and last month I asked him to sign for some concert tickets while I was at work because the concert was that week. He refused so I told him to carefully think it over because I was going to disown him and he wouldn't see me or my puppy indefinately. He can't even sign for tickets from ups for his daughter and it turned out they didn't need a freaking signature but the idiot "businessman" in SC I bought them from never emailed me with the tracking info so I could find out before all that grief. I had to wait for him to call back with the tracking # so I could call UPS and have them redirected to my house when they were out for delivery.
It's been almost a month and I haven't spoken or been to their house and I don't plan on it. He was always verbally abusive, paranoid, and threatening growing up and I've freaking had it. Unfortuanately mom has given in to being there with him miserable til she dies and thats the sad part. I live alone now and have offered her a room and she won't take it. When mom visits she won't even stay for more than 30 minutes because he was laid off after 27 years and still sits at home for her to come home from cooking for ungrateful middle schoolers and cook him dinner.
Let them go and good riddance! It just drags you down and makes you sick.
2006-09-26 02:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by kellyandpeanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be funny, but i think you should seek professional help. Sometimes things take some help getting over and getting advice on yahoo answers about how to go about a situation like the one you're in, isn't going to help you. Good luck.
2006-09-26 02:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by champagne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like I said in my last answer, sometimes you just have to cut them out of your life even a parent. Or at least distance yourself enough that you can understand that their comments are their mental illness and love your parent underneath all that.
2006-09-26 02:55:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issues your beginning mum and dad suggested about all of it being your fault, and so on and so on. are classic abuse indicators. They make you sense like you've done something incorrect or it somewhat is one way or the different your fault for 2 causes. a million. To justify the moves of their own heads 2. to make certain you sense undesirable about your self in order to make certain that you do not contact the authorities and lead them to be held responsible for his or her moves. you could easily have a relationship with them. yet, it really is easily on your words. They were those that led to this problem, no longer you. in the experience that they prefer to fulfill up, i'd make certain it really is in a public position and that you've a short chance to leave in case you want to at any second. regrettably, your beginning mum and dad have lost the right to cope with you as their baby and in the experience that they want a danger to have you ever of their existence...they could ought to earn it again. the 2d it is going to change into something except apologies or an pastime on your existence, i'd on the on the spot go away and by no skill come back. Be up the front with them. enable them keep in mind that you presently have a relatives that treats you techniques mum and dad ought to. you comprehend the distinction between abuse and love and also you received't submit with any nonsense from them at any aspect. you're waiting to fulfill with them and start up to examine a relationship with them, yet on condition that they are prepared to be civil and settle for that the relationship is punctiliously on your words till they earn again a number of the trust that they have got lost. final analysis: you do not owe them something. it really is somewhat large of you to need a relationship with them..yet you should have the relationship that you want. If at any aspect it is going to change into any type of abuse or accusations then you actually ought to on the on the spot turn round and walk out of their lives for sturdy.
2016-11-24 20:04:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time to pass on this person. Its weighing down on you emotionally and thats just not what you need to be healthy.
cut your losses now, and stop being sucked in by this persons negativity.
2006-09-26 02:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by psychstudent 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility.
You can take charge of your life and stop people seeing you as a victim.
2006-09-26 03:05:04 · answer #9 · answered by retro_girl34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive, never forget. you dont have to talk or be around someone to FORGIVE them. you can forgive them from afar. TRUST ME!
2006-09-26 02:47:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋