My girlfriend and I have lived togeher for a year and a half. When we were first together she worked part time doing lingerie shows at local bars. I didn't like it but was not in a place to tell her to quit. Now she's starting doing them again and I hate it. I don't think I can deal with sitting at work all day knowing she's out getting groped by drunk guys in a bar. What should I do?
2006-09-26 01:42:44 · 20 answers · asked by bizzie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
They're coming to take you away, HA HA
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To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And you'll be happy to see
Those nice, young men
In their clean, white coats
And they're coming to take you away, Ha-haaa!
2006-09-26 01:46:57 · answer #1 · answered by file_o_fax 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You have two options as far as I can see.
You need to sit and figure out if why it bothers you. Is it because of your own insecurities?
Ask her why she is doing this beyond the money. Is she doing it because she's insecure about her looks say. Does she need to be ogled by men to make herself feel good about herself? No matter what drives her to do this you have to figure if you can accept it and live with it comfortably.
If your not comfortable with it. Tell her that you don't like her doing the lingerie shows because you don't like the idea of her being groped by drunks. Ask her if you'd be going to places where you'd get groped would she be comfortable with it.
I have been there. I dated a girl in university after 3 months that we were dating she told me she was working as a stripper. Not being the best looking of guys I was very insecure with this and for a while I thought of dumping her because of this. But with a little time and telling her how I felt she assured me that she loved me and the rest was just work. I beieved her. We stopped seeing eachother when she got into drugs and she moved to another city.
2006-09-26 09:16:45 · answer #2 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she doing this because she needs money or attention? I can tell you from expierience it is probably the latter let her know that you find her a lot less attractive because of this explain that you don't respect her due to her job if she really loves you your respect is important to her. Don't let her justify it out if it comes down to money offer to handle the bills while she gets a respectful job if she truly will not give it up then she doesn't love you as much as she should.
Good Luck I hope you win this for her sake too.
2006-09-26 08:52:48 · answer #3 · answered by Katlynn 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Your now in the stage of the relationship where you need to voice your concerns. You have every right to feel this way, maybe point out that if it was you being groped by females all day how she'd feel about it? Explain to her that she deserves so much better than to strip for cash.
2006-09-26 08:48:09 · answer #4 · answered by ♡MaNda♡ 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would tell her how you feel.Let her know that you find it not only dangerous to her because of the drunken men but also disrespectful to not only your relationship but to her and her self worth.There are plenty of jobs she can do other then showing off what she has.Maybe she likes the attention she gets.If it was just a job for money she could wait tables or cashier at wal mart i think it goes deeper then the money issue.Shes looking for attention
2006-09-26 08:48:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes you are paranoid.
A girl with a body like that could have anyone - she doesn't need to do that line of work to get a man if her body is good enough to be doing shows.
You are thinking too much like a man. We girls can control ourselves even if we really really REALLY like someone.
The best thing you can do is trust her and stop worrying. Even if she flirts, it a healthy way to release the need for attention. Some people just like the attention and that's all.
Just to be 99.9999% sure, before she goes to work, make sure you please her (it's a plan of action I have for my husband before he goes out on a boys night)
Mia
2006-09-26 08:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Have you discussed this with her? You should tell her how you feel about the job--but make it clear you aren't asking her to quit. It might not be as bad as it seems--even though I'm sure in your mind its horrible. Unless she has given you reason to not trust her judgement, then you are being paranoid and this kind of behavior will only drive her away.
2006-09-26 08:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell her how you feel about her line of work and then tell her where you want the relationship to go After a year and a half it will be hard to explain why it is just now getting to you so be prepared for that so you can help her understand. good luck
2006-09-26 08:46:29 · answer #8 · answered by autumnbrookblue 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
why don't you just go with her to the lingerie club and see that the guys that go to strip clubs are very nice and respectful.......then maybe you 2 can do a lesbo show for them
2006-09-27 10:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
~You have to talk to her about this and how it makes you feel.. if she does not want to quite then you need to figure out if you can deal with this or if you are gonna leave...my guess is that she will quite if she truly loves you..I would..my relationship is more important then any job~~~> ;o}
2006-09-26 08:57:09 · answer #10 · answered by dreamzzz102 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋