How do you cope with grief? My beloved cat was killed yesteday and I'm bedside myself. How would you cope?

Question

He was hit by a car and although the vets did all they could he died a few hours later. Luckily someone saw him get hit by the car and knocked on all our doors until they found the owner. he was quite distressed but I was able to comfort him a little and get him to the vets within 5 minutes. My husband and I did go to see him last night after he had passed away and told him we loved him.
We are thinking of having him creamated and keeping his ashes in his favourite place in the house.
Just at the moment when I think he won't be there when i get in from work all I want to do is cry.....

Answer 1

firstly,take no notice of the insensitive morons who will answer ur question,there is obviously somethin wrong with them. i have 4 cats,even thinkin of them leavin me upsets me, i will be a complete mess when the time comes. he wasnt 'just a cat',he was part of ur family,so grieve for him that way. if u want to cry then cry,i dont know what else to say but sorry.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry for your loss. Some people who haven't had pets can't understand the grief suffered by a pet owner when they lose their pet.

People cope with grief in different ways - there's no right or wrong. (So long as it's nothing illegal.)

Your cat didn't just die, it was killed and that is very tragic and sad. Try and think of the happy times you had together and think of the joy you brought to each others lives.

It might be too soon for you to consider right now, but a new pet might give you something positive to focus on. I don't mean a replacement - you can never replace your lost cat, I mean a totally new life which would need your love and attention.

Time is the best healer of all. It may seem impossible to imagine now, but over time, the pain you are suffering now will ease.

In the mean time, there is no shame in crying.

When you're ready, consider that new pet.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved cat, it's bad enough when a pet is old and has to be pts but when you lose a pet suddenly like this it makes it so much harder, if it makes you feel better to have your cat cremated then do it, my dog was put to sleep last December and I still have his ashes in a lovely little pine box, I'm still not ready to bury him in the garden, I went and got another dog almost straight away and regretted it for weeks which was really unfair on the new little chap who I hasten to add that I absolutely adore now but I wish I had waited. We all grieve in different ways and for different lengths of time, I think someone else has already mentioned the rainbow bridge website you may find it comforting to read other stories/poems etc, don't take any notice of anyone who pokes fun saying that it is only a cat some people can be very insensitive, take your time in your grief.
Take care.

Answer 4

Hugs to you. I am so sorry to hear about your cat & I understand how you feel. Don't bottle up your feelings; it's perfectly normal to grieve for a much loved pet. Make sure you get the support & sympathy that you need. I am sure you will find other cat owners who have been in the same situation & who can offer support. Remember the good times that you had with your cat & eventually the time will come when you feel ready to offer another cat a different corner of your heart & home. You are obviously a caring person, & there are so many cats out there who would love a home with you. If you look on the Internet you will find advice & support groups for people who have lost pets. Look up 'The Rainbow Bridge' by Paul C Dahm; it's a lovely piece.

Answer 5

Baby I know you are hurting but you will get over it, I am glad to hear that the witness knocked on all doors till you were found, this to me says that there are still a few people left in this world that actually give a shite about things.
Anyhoooo, if you have a garden then why not shop around for a plant that would signify you wee kitty and when you plant it bury the ashes with it, you can make you own home made stone with any wording on it, that you can touch up when the weather gets the better of it, but this will be a remembrance of your wee kitty.
My ma and pa lost theirs a few years ago and it was sooooooo hard and they were adamant that they would never have another animal but they have another cat and are sooooooooooo happy and they have not forgot the one they lost as they regularly tend to the plant they planted and love re doing the wording on her stone.

Good luck to you babe as time does heal the pain and this doesn't mean you ever forget. xxx

Answer 6

Don`t run out and get another it won`t work ,wait a little while till you are sorted ,I know exactly how you feel ,it is horrible and people who don`t own an animal will never understand
I was in hospital after a major operation when my husband visited I sensed there was something wrong ,he had to have our collie dog put down and couldn`t tell me ,she had coughed blood everywhere while he was visiting ,it is devastating to lose your Friend but talk about your cat to anyone who will listen ,of course you will cry when anyone mentions your cat ,it`s natural later on perhaps you will do what I did and get another ,you will soon feel better good luck

Answer 7

Been there with a dog a few years ago and just like a person I greived for 3 days (the least little thing broght on the tears) but over time it does lessen and still sometimes if I watch a movie where an animal dies it's hard but remember an animal to one is like our child it's going to take some time.

Answer 8

did you love him, cuddle him, give him food, warmth toys? Did he have a lovely time being your cat? If so let it go, think on the psoitive side, while he was here you gave him a good life right? Dont beat yourself up, unfortunatly this happens to lots of cats but you cant let it affect you so much. if you live near a busy road then dont get another or it will only break your heart if it happens again. put a picture of him up and think happy things about him. you cant change what has happened by being miserable. make a donation to a cat shelter in his name, doing a good deed always makes me feel better. Keep smiling : )

Answer 9

I'm so sorry. I don't think there's anything you can do to feel better at the moment. I lost my dog ten years ago and I still get sad when i think about him. This is unfortunately the worst thing about having pets -but then again, the joy they give you when they're with you is worth the pain when they're gone. If you have a garden I would plant something to remember your cat by.

with love xx

Answer 10

I'm sorry for your loss. I kind of know how you feel, my guinea pig died on Sunday night-she was 5 y/o, which is usually how long they live-and we buried her at a park and put stones around it so we'll know where it is. Maybe you can give your cat a funeral-type thing. There's also a book about animals by Sylvia Browne, which talks about how animals get to heaven and things like that. Maybe if you talk about your feelings with someone else about what happened, that may help.