He says he can't make me happy and needs to be on his own to get normal.
2006-09-26 00:50:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
People who are severely depressed. Tend to want to be alone. They can see many causes for their depression. It is what most Psychiatrist and therapist call major depression.
From the way you say it. It does not sound like he is blaming you for his depression. Just that his being depressed causes him to not be able to make you happy.
He needs to Seek help from a professional. Most people with major depression can not function on their own let alone in a relationship. With out professional help.
Good luck.
2006-09-26 00:57:32 · answer #1 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, when i had my depression nothing my aprtner did was right or good enough.
This isn't his or anyones fault, it's the illness. It makes you do and say crazy things. You should both try to get some help as resentment can start to set in on both sides and then your relationship could be beyond help. It may be the case that he does need some time on his own to get things straight in his head. Whatever the case seek some proff advice.
I hope your husband gets well soon and you get some support.
2006-09-26 08:03:06 · answer #2 · answered by zozbabez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I see it, while he claims he cannot make you happy, and (maybe he can't..), I think it is wrong of him to place any blame on you, claiming on his own, or without you "he can be normal".
If he is not normal now, I don't think he will be normal later...UNLESS he assumes responsibility for himself and his depression.
If he is clinically depressed, he should get treated. If it is situational, and he is so unhappy, or insecure in the relationship that he says these types of things... well set him free, and let him go "get normal" on his own.
You can move on in your life and look forward to finding a more emotionally stable relationship.
I don't mean to sound hard on him, but I think I have a firm and realistic perspective, that he must make the changes he needs to get well, and indeed it does sound like you should let him fly.
Best of luck to you both.
2006-09-26 08:00:46 · answer #3 · answered by jude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bad thing is that depression wont go away until the depressed person takes control of it. Once your partner goes away theres another reason to be depressed. I think depression is a state of mind and if you change your state of mind and get into the habit of it your depression will change. My mother was in a wonderful relationship and she blamed everyone but herself, was suicidal, over medicated and lost her marriage. Thank God she got off the meds and took control.. Really its the simple things in life that makes us all happy. Get fresh air everyday whether you want to or not. Thats one simple thing.
2006-09-26 08:05:54 · answer #4 · answered by hot lips 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is quite typical of a clinically depressed person. If they are not suicidal, give them space. You should not expect him to make you happy or vice versa. Be available if needed, but don't crowd. Let him find his own way. You will both be happier in the long run.
2006-09-26 07:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by Answergirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That doesn't sound like he sees you as the cause. It sounds typical, the second part, saying he can't make you happy and needs to be alone. He might need some help, or he might come through it on his own. Only you know if he really needs you to leave him alone or not.
2006-09-26 09:37:38 · answer #6 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes! By definition, this person acts as a potential trouble source and always selects
a wrong target, being a run of a mill human being! But when calms down, always asks
forgiveness! To act like this, there must be a Suppression in his vicinity, who makes him a roller coaster! To suppress=to squash, to sit on, to make smaller,to refuse to let reach, to make uncertain about his reaching, to render or lessen in any way possible by any means possible, to the harm of the individual and for the fancied protection of the Suppressor! (LRH). The person has made his Suppressor afraid of him, so Supp.
tends to fight back hard. Should the affected person ceases his antagonism over the
Suppressor, he calms down.
Find out WHO is he or her, suppressing your partner.(a 3rd person -woman ?)
Ciao.......John-John.
2006-09-26 08:08:20 · answer #7 · answered by John-John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's very common to see blame/cause elsewhere. It's hard to admit that you have faults. You is general not you directly. You want to be able to say "such and such is the problem, they are gone and now I can get better". They maybe part of the problem but I don't think they are always the entire problem. I don't think you're abnormal at all.
2006-09-26 08:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. hence depressed people also tend to become very selfish.( i suffered from depression for years).
he's got to get himself together and fight his depression for the greater good. there is nothing you can do. just make sure that you are there if he ever needs you. but don't be too soft on him. make him understand, that it really isn't worth it to waste his life pitying himself.
i wish you all the best and hope he will make a recovery.
do not worry. xxx
2006-09-26 07:55:27 · answer #9 · answered by ~maryjane~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah its kinda normal. Maybe you should give him a little space to sort himself out but be there for him whenever he needs help as that will make him get over his depressive behaviour quickly. Advice him to seek help if he'z always depressed.
2006-09-26 07:57:24 · answer #10 · answered by Gentlehero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋