Any suggestions with husband?

Question

I am a stay at home mom and my husband works. My husband thinks I should take sole responsibility for taking care of my son. I do and love it, but I feel he is missing out on son and dad time. I feed, change, bath, play, read and put him to bed. He does nothing. Never gets up at night, never put him to bed, never spends any time with him. He says he tired with he gets home. Any suggestions.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, men do not change ..... easily. It takes very traumatic events in their life to change - death, divorce, dramatic change. As you can clearly see his traditional approach to fatherhood is actually hurting him and your son. He probably would be very resistant to the notion of counseling, but it could help. I would venture to say he will not like the idea at all, but for his own good and the good of your son, I would try to get him involved in some form of counseling.

Answer 2

Maybe you should suggest an activity that your husband can do with your son every night that would not feel so much like a "chore" to him at first-- I think reading the bedtime story would be a good choice. This wouldn't take too much time and maybe he would start to feel more attached to your son-- and therefore naturally want to spend more time with him.

I stay home and my husband works as well, I am the main caretaker of my daughter because I feel it's only fair that I bathe her, feed her, wake up with her during the night since he works but he does spend time with her like reading, playing, etc.

Answer 3

sit down and ask him why tell him you understand that he is tired but that your son diserves time with his dad remind him that it took both of you to creat this little guy and it's going to take two to raise him right but if he refuses to become more active in your sons life you don't have much of an option you either put up with it or find someone that wants to be a dad a boy needs a mans influence n his life from day one the bond then is unbreakable but play time with father and small child is ussually the best for both involved some men are scared of hurting their child or that they will do something wrong try snuggling on the bed all three of you after bath time as you are getting him dressed just little things then slowly leave your husband and son alone for a few min. let him build his confidece up as to being a father and role model you are now not only raising your son but raising his father too very few men have this tought knowldge but most have the desire good luck just take it slow and easy if he wants to be a dad you will work through it just takes patients

Answer 4

I must agree with you that every child needs attention from his father and mother thats why nature has it that the 2 have to come together to bring forth a child.No child should lack his father's love.Personally my parents got divorced pretty early so i never really had my 2 parent's love at a time.Most of the time my father was never there for me and my mother was always beating me up out of anger towards my dad this really affects me up till today in ways i wont want to discuss here and my father and i are still like strangers to each other.
From what i have lernt from my husband about men the best approach if you want anything from them is the soft approach.Try talking to him about it gently,tell him his son needs him and suggest that you could take up a job too so that both of you can take turns taking care of the baby.Besides as your husband you should know how to convince him,the important thing is make sure you convince him at all cost to spend time with his son.I wish you luck.

Answer 5

That is so sad. So many men are like your husband. Try to talk to him and point out that your son needs to spend time with his daddy. A lot of men just wait for when the kids are older and self sufficient before they develop a relationship. Men are not always good at the baby and toddler stuff. But tell him how important it is to develop a bond now. It will be much harder later. And he will hurt when his own son wants nothing to do with him.

Answer 6

This is a behavior of men,they think his responsibilities is to provide things only,but try to tell how is important is to to find time to play with his son tell him how the son he Will be happy if he get time to take to his bed singing some song.. may be he don't understand his other responsibilities as a father.


Anyway have a good luck

Answer 7

Start by asking him to watch your son in small increments of time, maybe just half an hour while you lay down with a (pretend) headache. Or 15 minutes while you shower. Or, say, "Please, please, feed your son this one time, honey....." Then thank him for taking over, making a big deal out of it. If this method works, praise your husband on how good he is with your son. Get pictures of the father and son together. When he sees pictures with his son, tell him they look alike, mentioning features they have in common. Buy your son a shirt or hat similar to your husband's, saying "You really look a lot alike now!" If your husband likes football, buy your son toys or clothes that reflect your husband's interests. Maybe your husband doesn't feel comfortable doing the Mr. Mom jobs, thinking you're best at it. Maybe he'll wean into feeling more comfortable being the caregiver when he sees your gestures mentioned above. I hope this works for you because it worked for me. Now my hubby takes over often. It's beautiful when I see them together, knowing my husband loves my sons as much as I do.

Answer 8

It is sad.but men will never change. I am on my 4th month of pregnancy, and the ignorance my husband is already showing towards me and my unborn child is concrete enough to prove that he wouldn't take even an iota of responsibility in bringing up our child. Men forget that it takes 2 to tango, and the child dint came just out of the blue. I have no expectations from my husband, and would suggest you to be more strong. It is girl power, and we can do everything. Look for a job, and support yourself and your child. You don't deserve a mean husband like him, and the innocent child doesn't need a father like him. As far as your child missing the daddy care, well honey it all depends on how you bring up your child. Speak the truth, and tell your child the reality of his father, and I am sure your child will bond with you more.God bless you and your child

Answer 9

I work at home and also do ALL of the baby "work". Her daddy spends all of his time playing with her. I joke that he only does the fun things with her, but he doesn't see her as much so that's okay with me. He will take her out to play so I can get some mommy time here and there. I would suggest that your husband at least PLAY with the baby!!!!

Answer 10

Talk to him and make it change. He is not even a part of the family right now it seems. If he does not want to be part of the family, tell him to leave.

I would NEVER put up with that and would never stay with a man like that. My husband takes my girls shopping, helps with homework, tucks them in etc. When they were real little, he helped bathe them, he changed diapers, read to them etc.